Continuing… (It's Part 6 in the saga, I fucked up. Sorry.)
So, after a few re-fueling and impromptu cigar-purchasing stops in South and Central America, we wheel up to the deserted jetway at LAX.
“Thought we were going to Elmendorf?” I asked.
“This isn’t it?” the pilot replied, feigning worry.
“No.”, I replied, “Looks like California. Fruits and nuts. All around. What’s going on? One minute we’re off to Texas, then Cali, then Texas again, now we end up here at the California airport of the iconic tower.”
“Yeah, it’s confusing enough haulin’ civilians around. But when we get a call from Virginia, we tend to comply without any questions,” the pilot explains.
“Aw, shit!”, I sort of exclaim, “Rack and Ruin called?”
“Yeah”, the pilot replies, “Figures you’d know these guys. They said they were closer to LAX rather than Texas and had us divert here. In fact, you look over there, see that dark blue Chevy? That’s them; and evidently, your ride.”
I tipped the airman from earlier a couple of cigars as he helped me with my gear off the plane and into the trunk of Rack and Ruin’s plain-Jane blue late modeled Chevy. Had to move the Sidewinder Missiles off to one side, though.
“Most honorable Agents Lack and Luin!” I quipped in my faux-racist greeting. “What the hell, guys? I’ve got to get to Japan and get some newly rigidified digits.”
“Let’s see your hand”, Agent Rack asks. “Nasty.”
“Yeah”, I sigh “And with the medicos in South America and their penchant for plaster, I don’t so much have a left hand as more of an ankylosaur tail.”
“Or Thagomizer”, Agent Ruin tittered. “Anyone gives you grief, and one upside the head should set them right. Or dead.”
“You’re a riot, Ruin.” I replied, “But not entirely incorrect.”
We all agreed that I really didn’t need any extra accouterments to make myself look more dangerous. I mean with my severe haircut, stern beard clip, and perpetual ‘Go fuck yourself’ scowl.
“Yeah”, I replied, stroking the aforementioned beard, “I just can’t get that. I’m such a people person.”
After Agents Rack and Ruin finished drying their eyes from laughing what I thought was en extremis, we finally got down to business.
“So, what’s the skinny, guys”, I asked. “New marching orders?”
“No. Not as such”, Agent Ruin said, still sniggering over my ‘people person’ comment.
I see we’re moving. Agent Rack is just driving casually, like Chewbacca when they were waiting to see if the Empire went for that expensive Bothan code.
“Then, what?” I asked, getting a slight bit piqued.
“Well”, Agent Ruin noted, “When you went to South America, you took some of your artillery collection with, correct?”
“You know I did. You even made some snide comments about my personal choice of sidearms and their ‘excessive’ calibers, if memory serves”, I reiterated.
“And if you are proceeding normally, as you always do, they’re all nestled in the trunk of this very car. All cleaned, quiet, unloaded, and smelling sweetly of Hoppe’s Number 9 and WD 40, correct?” Rack inquired.
“Yes?” I cautiously venture.
“Well, ya’ big dummy, do you think they’re going to let you saunter into Tokyo armed like the Third Fleet?” Agent Ruin chuckled.
“Um…well…I do have a Diplomatic Passport.” I ventured.
“That’s not going to work this time.”, Agent Ruin said, shaking his head. “They’re tighter than Dick’s Hatband about sidearms. Want to bring in your Rigby SXS .500 Nitro Express double rifle? Not a problem. Sidearms, especially in your alien hunting calibers, nope.”
Well, that’s just….*dandy!”, I reply, semi-put out. “Now what the hell am I going to do?”
“Ever think that’s why Ruin and I are here, now?”, Rack asks.
“And here I thought it was just so you could bask in the warm glow of my fucking wonderful personality. Or that you actually cared about me as a real goddamn human”, I joshed.
“Ummm…yeah”, Rack replies, “There’s no way we can answer that without going on some Deadpool list. “
I agreed.
“OK, here’s the deal: you get your sidearms, ammunition, speed loaders, brass knuckles, Asp, laser range finders, Sap, Zeiss scopes, Kukri, Wisconsin Cheese Whittler, Buck folding skinner, Marine K-Bar, those two ultra-illegal Cheburkov Cobra titanium switchblades...”
“Three. Olga the KGB lady sent me one for Geologist’s Day.”
“Ahem. Those three ultra-illegal Cheburkov switchblades, that Wyoming Speedholer, your MASER Time-Distance Computer, garrote, pocket rail gun and whatever else lethal you carry and deposit it in the iron box in the trunk. We’ll ensure that it’s delivered to Esme post-haste. And by post-haste I mean one of our guys will deliver it personally.”
“Well…I suppose”, I conceded, “But best send someone who’s been to the house recently. I don’t know how much bigger Khan has grown since I left on this little fantasy trip. Wouldn’t want a star on the wall in Langley for someone eaten by a mastiff. Want to see a picture….Oh, bother. That’s right. My phone’s at the bottom of fucking Lake Maracaibo.”
“Good point”, Ruin interjects, “Guess we’ll do a little road trip and deliver it ourselves. Best call Esme and let her know what’s going on.”
“I have no objections to your proposals. Please give Esme this when you see her. I had some luck in the Calaveras Casino and if I don’t send her some mad money. Ouch. She’ll never forgive me for not taking her along to Japan.” I asked.
“But I thought Esme hated Japan? Too crowded and too ‘fussy’, I believe was her estimation.” Ruin asked.
“Yes, but once she saw the Ginza, all bets were off. Shopping the likes of which even Allah himself hasn’t seen.” I replied, slowly shaking my head.
“I see”, Ruin said, “Well, since you’re off to Sapporo, perhaps you can do a recon for Esme on the shopping there.”
“Not bad. Not bad at all.”, I smiled, “Now I know why I let you guys hang around with me.”
So, as advertised, I am now standing on the tarmac at LAX, basically feeling naked.
“Can’t I keep just one switchblade?” I moaned to Agent Rack.
“Go ahead, if you’re really keen on donating it to Japanese customs”, he replied.
“Fuckbuckets.” I groused.
“There, there now. That’s the usual Dr. Rocknocker of which we’re all so fond.” Agent Ruin chuckled.
“Remember, you do have that wallet-sized credit card gizmo from the Company. So you’re not entirely ‘naked’. Think of it as an emergency breechcloth.” He smiled.
“I’d like a larger model if you don’t mind. It’s chilly out here.” I joshed.
After Agents Rack and Ruin stripped me metaphorically naked as they de-weaponized me, they handed me a Business Class ticket to Tokyo, and a pass to the Japan Airlines Hospitality Suite and Lounge.
“So sorry you guys can’t hang around and have a few farewell snorts”, I chided, “But you’ve got a bit of a drive, so best be off before the weather turns to shit.”
“Who says we’re driving?” Agent Rack asked as he hooked a thumb over his shoulder at the ready and waiting C-130 cargo plane currently taxiing slowly in our direction.
“Well, in that case”, I smiled even more broadly, “Let’s invite the flight crew to join us. That’ll make the flight home all that much more interesting.”
After near tear-jerking farewell sentimentalities, i.e., “Piss on you”, “Get stuffed” and “Take a fuckin’ hike”; Agents Rack and Ruin, my weapons and the Agency’s plain-Jane Blue Chevy were all nestled snugger than buggers in ruggers in the belly of the thundering C-130.
Now truly on my own, I trudge the hundred thousand or so centisteps to my departure terminal, make a quick recon that my flight’s still slated to go in a generally westward direction, and hightail it to the nearest courtesy desk to ask for a motorized cart to take me and my remaining luggage to the JAL Hospitality Suite.
Hey. I’m old, infirm, and currently among the walking wounded.
Anyone that disagrees risks an Ankylosaur tail club swat or Thagomizer to the skull.
Finally ensconced in the JAL Hospitality Suite, Polo Lounge of course; I was drinking Tokyo Teas (3 oz. vodka, 2 oz. gin, 2 oz. rum, 1 oz. triple sec, 1 oz. Midori, good splash of lime juice, a slight splash of 7-Up (diet, of course), over ice with a lime wheel) with Pabst Blue Ribbon Extra 1844 chasers and Hangar One’s “Fog Point” vodka on the side, hiding from the brutish realities of this foul year of two thousand and twenty-something, Common Era…
I’ve already called Esme and we’ve had a good, long chat. She still managed to give me her shopping list for whenever I find myself bored on the Ginza.
She’ll be shocked when she learns that I’m not going to be in Tokyo long, but have 1st class tickets on the Bullet Train to Sapporo. Still, I’ll probably find myself in Pole Town or the Stellar Place there, trading piles of US greenbacks for locally produced Japanese curios and clothing.
I can hardly wait.
I order another round of drinks, as the wonderful attendants in the Hospitality Suite were bored out of their skulls because of the COVID-induced drop-in customers flying anywhere that requires a hospitality room stay, and I was virtually the only one around. They tried their level best to outdo each other when it comes to Japanese efficiency and friendliness.
After a couple of hours, they ask if I would like something from the grill, as the day chef had “the COVID” and the night chef just arrived. A quick perusal of the menu and I chose a 28-ounce dry-aged Porterhouse and another round of drinks.
I usually don’t like to eat too much before I fly, but JAL tells me the flight is going to be virtually empty, something like <121 pax, all told, so restroom availability shouldn’t be too much of a concern.
Plus, who am I to say no to a free, blue 28-ounce dry-aged Porterhouse?
There was a bit of difficulty conveying to the chef through the intermediaries of the hospitality just how I wanted my steak.
“Blue,” I said.
“Brue?” was the reply.
“Rare. Very, very rare.” I continued.
Look of total bewilderment.
I drag out my Personal Language Pro, speak “Steak, very, very rate” into the infernal gizmo, and hand the contraption to the attendant.
“珍しい、非常に珍しいステーキ?”[ Mezurashī, hijō ni mezurashī sutēki?]
“Raw! Nama!” I say, louder than need be.
They toddle off to find the chef.
“How is it sir, that you would like your steak cooked?” he asks.
“Very rare. Just a minute or two per side. Inside still cold.” I instructed.
All I got for the trouble was a puzzled smile.
“Give me the language gizmo…” I type in a few words…
“お尻を洗い、角をノックオフして、ここから出してください”
[O shiri o arai,-kaku o nokkuofu shite, koko kara dashite kudasai.]
“Wash its ass, knock its horns off, and walk it out here.”
“OH!” as the lightbulb pops. “Rare. Got it! Excellent!” the chef laughs and zips back to the kitchen.
Like I always say, I’m nothing if not the international ambassador of amity and goodwill.
“Crack tubes!”
Dinner was fantastic. I do wish I could have somehow mailed the Porterhouse bone back home for Khan. After that hambone incident, he might even taste it.
Finally on the plane, in an almost empty Business Class, the flight captain informs us that we’re headed to Haneda Airport Tokyo and anyone not headed in that direction better ‘haul ass off’ the flight or forever hold their peace.
Late-night international flights tend to be a bit more wooly than your average Chicago to Omaha gig.
Especially when the flight’s damn near empty and we have the next 12 hours or so to be best friends.
We taxi, turn and head into the wind. I’m doctoring up a couple of dossiers and keeping my personal cabin attendant, Luna since there were two of us in Business and two business flight attendants, busy with her trying to play ‘Stump the Geologist’.
“I’ll bet you never had this before.” She beamed and handed me a tumbler of very dangerous-looking brown liquor.
I cautiously sniff, take a modest gulp, swirl and glug the rest down.
“Ohishi Single Sherry Cask”, I say with a muffled belch. “Light. Fruity. An Englishman’s drink.”
“Oh. You knew. Let me try again.” She smiles beatifically.
“I have no objections to your proposal.” I smile as nicely as this crotchety old Komodo Dragon could.
She returns with another flagon of spirits; it smells of obsidian, leather, and earth.
I just had some of this back in LAX. I take a snort, smile, and shotgun the rest.
“Hibiki Japanese Harmony…lovely stuff.” I smile. “A little light for my jaded palate, but I’d never turn it down if it were free.”
“Oh, you win again. Wait. One more.” She smiles and skitters off to the galley.
She returns with another soupçon of some more dangerous brown liquor.
“Here, try this. It will make you very popular at social gatherings”. She smiles.
Sniff. “Splendid.” Snort. Swirl. Smile. Shotgun.
“Kanosuke New Born, if I’m not mistaken.” I smile back. “Very nice. I really do like this one.”
“You too good at this. One more!” she stands and stomps off defiantly. She returns in a trice and hands me the glass.
“Hmm…brown. Light notes of earth, leather, dating your daughter, and Kentucky…
“Beam Suntory, right?”
“You know them all!” she says, feigning irritation.
“And I thank you. Those were all excellent. Now, anything in the dangerous clear liquor category? I asked.
Luna smiled as I palmed off a 20k yen tip.
“Oh, no sir. Wait until we land.” She demurred, referring to the gratuity; which is know is not de rigueur in the Orient, but she didn’t seem to mind.
“Just in case we never make it to Tokyo”, I laughed, unknowingly presciently.
We both chuckled about that last line as she tried out various sakes and shōchūs and an actual Japanese ‘White Liquor’ (ホワイトリカー), which were all excellent as was the company.
I tell her that I need to get some work done and could she bring me a tall Rocknocker. After explain the origins and construction of the eponymous drink, she brings me one that must tip the scales at 1 or so liters.
She settles down to an empty seat and I get after the work that I need to finish before we land. I’m about ½ way through my drink when it felt as if the plane hit a brick wall. She quivered and quaked and clutched at herself while I made some comments about the pilot’s mental health.
We dropped like a paralyzed falcon, then just as suddenly, felt like it was an express elevator to Angel’s 11. The plane bucked and shimmied, wickedly. Then we slam-danced right and fell a few more stories. It was like we were in a Mixmaster and the owner was trying out every speed.
The emergency lights in the 777-300ER popped on, and the fasten seat belt sign barked loudly so even sleeping travelers could enjoy the show.
Rinse. Spin. Shudder. Repeat.
Finally, the ride smooths out and we hear the captain on the blower.
“This is your captain speaking…ah, we seem to have hit some uncharted turbulence back there.”
“Thanks, Captain Obvious”, I muttered.
“Everything’s A-OK. “ he reports.
“That’s good”, I note.
“But…”
“There’s always the but…” I groan.
“…we have a couple of warning lights for which we can’t quite account. So to just be safe and certain, we’re going to divert to Hawaii, get a clean bill of health and resume this flight once we make sure everything here is hunky-dory.”
There were scattered groans and applause. Add them together and divide by two and the average response on the flight was “Meh. Whatever.”
Except for the other guy in Business, with whom I hadn’t shared two words. He began to absolutely lose his shit.
“Oh, man! We’re so screwed! Mechanical malfunction? What does that mean?” he positively fizzed with fear.
The flight attendants tried to calm him down, to no avail. They basically gave up and said they’d report his misgivings to the Captain.
I motioned over to my personal flight attendant, Luna, and asked if I could be of service.
“Oh, Doctor Rock”, she smiled at me, “If you could speak with him. You are so calm, and he is…”
“Losing his bloody mind”, I chuckled as I finished her sentence for her. “Of course, I’ll take a stab at it.”
So, I grab my drink and ease over to my Business Class partner and introduce myself.
“Hey, pal. How’s it going? I’m Dr. Rock, gentleman, scholar, and connoisseur of cigars and things alcoholic. You doing OK?”
He looks at me with an ashen face and his eyes the size of bloodshot dinner plates.
“Yeah. I’m Todd Schotts. I’m flying to Japan for business.” He mumbles
“No surprise there,” I reply calmly and take a slug of my drink.
“But now we’re all going to die. The plane is busted and we’ll crash…” he started off again.
“So, Todd is it? Good. You drink?” I asked.
“Yeah?”, he stammered back.
I asked Luna to make us a fresh batch of my eponymous cocktails.
“OK, Todd, listen up”, I began after the drinks were served, “I have flown literally millions of miles over the last 4 decades. On Aeroflot when it was still the USSR. On TACA (Take A Chance Airways), on Chalk’s in the Caribbean, on Bob’s Verrifast Plane Company in Rhodesia, on regional carriers that don’t even exist anymore. All over the world. Had some bad experiences flying, and me ol’ mugger, this ain’t one of them. This is nothing more than the glitch for this mission.”
I chuckled lightly and complimented Luna on a fantastic drink.
“Yeah…yeah…yeah…but we have to land and check out some lights…” Todd squealed.
“Well now, Todd. It would be rather difficult to do any external assessment while in flight, don’t you agree?” I asked.
“But we’re diverting. We have to land and that adds more risk. We’re going to crash and die!” he was coming more and more unglued.
“I will bet you every cent you have on your person and home bank accounts that that will not happen”, I chuckled.
That took him by surprise. At least it shut him up for a while.
“Look, Todd. This is Boeing’s latest model. They have the most incredible safety record. And if a little clear air turbulence were to be knocking planes out of the sky, don’t you think we’d hear about it as the press went berserk?” I asked.
“But they don’t know what the lights mean! What if one of the engines’s out? How far can we fly on one engine?” Todd stuttered.
Having my fill of a supposedly grown man with inane childlike fears, I calmly replied,
“All the way to the crash site.”
He went white.
“...hope we hit something hard. I don’t want to limp away from this.”
He went limp.
Then I went to my seat and motioned for Luna to prepare a reload.
Of course, 45 minutes later, we land without incident at Daniel K. Inouye International Airport, Honolulu Hawaii.
We were told to just wait around until they figure out what the problem if any, was.
They had officials waiting at the end of the jetway to check our COVID status and passports before they let us loose in the terminal.
I asked Luna if she knew this airport. She noted that she did.
“Is there a JAL hospitality room here at this airport? I asked.
“Yes, Doctor. It’s the Sakura Lounge. It is located on the third level above The Local, Terminal 2.” She replied.
“Please notify whoever needs to know that that’s where I’ll be for the duration”, I smiled and handed her my business card. “See you soon, I hope.”
“Oh, Dr. Rock”, she replied, “I am sure it is nothing much. We’ll be back in the air within mere hours.”
“Well then”, I smiled, “Guess I’d better get ready to hoof it to the lounge.”
“Oh, Doctor Rock”, she smiled, “No rush. I will call for you a courtesy cart. You are injured, you are Business, you are priority.”
“I love that Asian efficiency.” I smiled back and toddled down the jetway.
At the terminus of the jetway, I show my COVID-clear papers, dates and times of my Anti-Virus vaccine administrations, the letter from Virginia clearing me of all detention, and my red Russian diplomatic passport.
While in the cart, whizzing our way to the JAL lounge, the driver said “Man! You must be some kind of VIP. You were through that welcoming committee in less than two minutes!”
“Me? Nah!”, I chuckled, “Just an old phart of a geologist that they didn’t want to mess with. Not on such a bright, sunny day as this.”
“I see you’re not wearing a mask.” The driver quipped.
“Very observant. There are reasons for that.” I replied.
He careens around a corner and if this were a normal pre-Covid day, I’m certain we’d have killed hundreds. However, the airport, as I’ve come to grow accustomed to, was virtually deserted.
“Yeah? Like what?” he asks.
“Well, Scooter, 1. I have an active and hardworking immune system that I let off the chain every once in a while for exercise. Got to let it know what it’s up against, right? 2. I’ve had all my shots and some that were experimental. They seem to have worked. And 3. I find it difficult to drink and smoke cigars while wearing a mask. However, if you’d prefer, I will mask up. No problem, though it still is optional.”
“Nah, man”, he said, “I was just wondering if you were one of those religious idiots or conspiracy nuts.”
Nope”, I smiled back, “Just another geologist out in the world plying his trade for cash. Y’know, whorin’ around for money.”
He laughs aloud as we skid to a stop right in front of Lounge.
I slip the guy a $20 and ask if he’d listen for the JAL flight I was just on. If we’re going on ahead today, I’d need him to scoot by and putt-putt me back to the plane.
He laughs and pockets the $20 as quick as a mink ruts.
“No worries. I’ll just hang around this area. I hear anything about the flight, I’ll come and let you know.” He grins.
“Good man”, I say, as I hand him my card. “I’m Dr. Rocknocker. Call me Rock”.
“And I’m Kapula Mano, call me Kap” he replies.
“Good man”, I say again, “Hope to see you in a while.”
He grins, floors his electric cart, and peels out at speeds approaching 4.5 MPH.
I wander into the lounge, show my credentials, and am escorted to a post up on Mahogany Ridge.
The bar is very quiet. Besides the bartender, I can’t see anyone else in the darkened and Smooth Jazz-infused drinking emporium.
I order a local drink, a Mai Tai, just for the experience and something a bit different.
It’s served in a goldfish bowl on a stem, bedecked with a slice of lime, a sprig of mint, a stick of sugar cane, a polychromatic orchid, and the obligate paper umbrella.
“Ah. Mai Tai. I will enjoy it.” I said to no one in particular.
One was enough, and I decided to go back to the old standard. Once I explained to the bartender what that was, he made them heroic and enthusiastically.
I’m reading up on a random dossier, making notes in a new file, and puffing away on a Fuentes Onyx double Maduro Churchill cigar.
I hear a slight cough coming from my right, and this here lovely lady, she sat to my immediate starboard and looked at me semi-quizzically.
Not in the mood for shenanigans of any stripe, I give her the obligate Baja Canada nod and tilt of the drink. I return to my dossiers and continue to read and take notes.
“Excuse me!” I hear.
Fearing the worst, either the woman is Karen-oid anti-smoking or a religious fruit-and-nutburger, I slowly turn to face her and reply, somewhat glacially, I have to admit.
“What?”
“That cigar…”
“Here we go…” I mutter, eyes rolling northward.
“Smells exquisite. Could you tell me the brand? My husband would enjoy some like that.” She notes.
Instantly my demeanor switches 180^0.
“Yes, ma’am. It’s an Arturo Fuentes Onyx. Churchill size, or 60 ring x 7” length, double Maduro. Here, take one for your husband. I have an ample supply.” I smile.
“Oh, no. I couldn’t. Could I?” she asks.
“Please. I insist.” I smile the best I could given the circumstances.
“Thank you. You’re too kind…umm…Mr….?”
“Doctor. Doctor Rocknocker. World traveler, oilman, and international ambassador of amity, good drinks, and fine cigars. Call me Rock” I said.
“Oh! A Doctor?” she brightens.
“Yes, of Petroleum Geology and Engineering. Not medicine.” I chuckle.
She chuckles back.
“And I am Hella Aaberg”, as she offers her hand for a quick shake.
“Interesting name, Hella. Scandinavian or Old German heritage?” I ask.
“On my father’s side. He’s Finnish.” She replies.
“But I’ll wager your mother is not Scandinavian, correct?” I ask.
“She was from Truk, an island…”
“In the South Pacific, Micronesia. Was she from Weno city?” I asked.
“Why yes. How could you possibly know that?” she asked.
“Oh, I’ve been there. Great diving amongst the WWII wrecks. I think it’s actually called ‘Chuuk Lagoon’ or something like that now.” I said.
“That’s right! Amazing. Where else have you been?” she asked.
“Anywhere there’s oil, strife, booze, cigars, heavy explosives and typically long distances from whatever most normal people call civilization,” I replied with a chuckle.
Suddenly, I hear a voice booming out behind me.
“Why don’t you save that rapier-like wit for those musky-fuckers back home, Rocko?”
My expression changes. My eyes pop fully wide open.
“Hella?” I asked.
“Yes?”
“May I ask you a favor?”
“You can ask…”
“Thank you. Now, looking over my shoulder, is there a hulking goon of a person, thin up top, paunchy halfway down with the most ridiculously tiny sized shoes you’ve ever seen for a so-called grown man?” I ask.
“Yes. Yes, there is.” She replies.
“I thought so. Many thanks.”
I spin and launch off my barstool and grab Toivo by the hand. He hadn’t seen my left-hand Thagomizer yet.
“Toivo! You old sumbitch. What the flying fennec fox fuck are you, of all people, doing in Hawaii?” I laughed.
“Just keeping an eye on you, Rock!” he laughed equally as loud.
“No, fucking-A, seriously. What the actual fuck? What are you doing in this actual nice place?” I asked.
“Just headed to Tokyo to conduct a bit of service company business. I walked into the lounge and smelled a foul cigar. I figured it can’t be the venerable Dr. Rocknocker. He’s back at some school up north terrorizing geology and engineering grads and undergrads.” Toivo laughed.
“But there I was. Surprise!”, I laughed and pumped his hand.
“What the fuck, Rock. Now what did you do?” he asks, referring to my Ankylosaur tail club left hand.
“Ah, fuck. Long story. Oh, pardon me. Toivo, this is Hella. We were just talking about the South Seas Islands.” I said.
“Planning on running off together?” Toivo laughs, to the amusement of neither party.
“Oh, and this idiot is Toivo, a man with a congenital foot-in-mouth disorder. He’s mostly harmless.” I noted to Hella.
Greetings were shared all around. Hella made some small excuses and said she needed to depart. I gave her another cigar for her husband, shook her hand, and wished her well.
“Here’s my business card. If your husband has any questions, have him drop me a line.” I noted.
Hella smiled beautifully. She said she would. Then she thanked me shook our hands, and like that, there she was, gone.
“Well Toivo, you old bastard. Don't just stand there in the doorway like some lonesome goddamn mouse shit sheepherder, get your ass over here and have a drink.” I motioned over to my perch on Mahogany Ridge.
“Don’t mind if I do”, he says as he deftly winds his way to a seat to my left, snagging a cigar out of my pocket on the way over.
“You might want these”, I say in an exasperated tone, and hand him my gold Dunhill Hobnail lighter and V-cutter gizmo.
He cuts and fires up his heater.
“What you drinkin’, Rock”, he asks.
“Anything with alcohol, as usual. You know that Toiv.” I reply.
“No. I mean right now.” He clarifies.
“Well, I had a Mai Tai. Very nice if you like fruity, flowery drinks. It’s the locals’ favorite.” I reply.
“Sounds good. I’ll have several. And you?” Toivo asks.
“My usual. The bartender is already apprised of the situation.” I reply.
Toivo smiles the smile of one knowing his sobriety is going to be taken out for a swim. Hell, taken out and tossed into the deep end.
Toivo and I sit there, swapping lies, smoking cigars and sipping at our toddies.
Hell, Toivo was slurping them like a sump-pump during an extra-wet summer.
We chattered about family, work, whether or not Tokyo was going to host the Olympics or if the COVID-boogie man scared everyone off.
Toivo, always one afflicted with TB (“Tiny Bladder”) got up to go to the loo for the third time that hour. He left his pocket organizer on the bar and I swear on a stack of Origins of Species, I didn’t touch it.
I reached over to his vacated seat to retrieve my cigar lighter when I looked down and saw in his organizer a tab that reads “Rack & Ruin”.
“Oh. No. Fucking. Way.” I recoiled as I’d just reached out and petted a 6-foot hungover scorpion.
“One of my best friends? Secretly allied with the Agency? No. Not possible.” I drained my drink and called for another.
“No. No. No. It can’t be. No. No fucking way…” as doubt began to dissolve when I thought back to all those times I had just ‘run into’ Toivo.
“But he’s oil patch as well. That could be chalked up to coincidence.” I ruminated quizzically in my brain.
I quickly reflected back on J.M. Darhower: “Yes, you see, there’s no such thing as coincidence. There are no accidents in life. Everything that happens is the result of a calculated move that leads us to where we are.”
She may be the author of the execrable New Adult Sempre series, which Esme likes and I loathe, but she might just be right on this occasion.
Toivo return, lighter in the bladder and good sense. He never even noticed he’d left his organizer out in broad bar light for all to see.
“So, Toivo, when’s your flight?” I ask.
“Oh, man. Was I lucky. The JAL flight to Tokyo from Los Angeles had mechanical trouble and had to divert here. I got a ticket on the plane for that flight, when it continues.
“You mean ‘if it continues’,” I replied.
“Yeah. Yeah. That’s what I meant. Hey! Was that your flight?” he asks innocently. He’s really innocent of fieldcraft.
I decide to have some fun at my old friend’s expense.
“Yep. Hit some CAT (Clear Air Turbulence) and the JAL pilots reported some lighting problem. No apparent ruin to any of the systems. They relay racked their brains to figure it out, but they couldn’t that’s why I here.” I said, waiting for the words to swim upstream in Toivo’s coconut and make some sort of connection.
“Yeah. Double lucky. No problem with the plane and I get to go to Japan early.” Toivo crookedly grins.
“So, no trouble with the plane? Then why haven’t I heard that the flight’s going to resume?” I asked as I pushed a fresh, seriously strong drink to Toivo.
“Oh, must have heard it in the john.” Toivo countered and tried to cover his tracks by taking a huge gulp of his drink and damn near dying coughing.
I pound on Toivo’s back.
“Heimlich time?” I ask.
Toivo signals ‘no’.
“Jesus Christ, Rock. What was that?” he asks.
“Just my usual”, I innocently replied.
“Holy fuck. No wonder you have the reputation of…” Toivo realizes too late that he’s said too much.
“Yeah. They can rack you out. Really ruin a person if they’re not careful.” I reply icily.
“Why, Rock. Whatever do you mean?” Toivo slurred as he realized he’s been caught out.
“The jig is up, you turncoat. You know Agents Rack and Ruin from the agency. Right? You keeping tabs on me for them? You Quisling! You Benedict Arnold!” I almost was on the verge of losing my cool.
“It was nothing. They approached me years ago as I kept being mentioned in your reports. They asked me for some information. One thing leads to another…” Toivo was ready for an Ankylosaur tail club swat to the bean.
“Oh, put your fucking hands down, you asshole.” I smiled and chuckled.
“You’re not mad?” Toivo slurred badly. I had the bartender make him another special drink.
“No, Toivo. Not mad. Just disappointed.” I said, smiling like a Komodo Dragon just finishing up a fortnight-old wildebeest.
Toivo sat there and puzzled and puzzled until his puzzler was sore.
“You’re not going to kill me or anything rude like that?” Toivo asked, half-assedly trying to inject humor into the proceedings.
“Nah. The paperwork’s too ridiculous for me to do another liberation. But, Jesus Fucking Christwagons, Toivo; you could have mentioned it to me. Fuck, I thought we were friends to the end?” I said, dejectedly.
I was really getting through to Toivo. I could tell he was loaded; feeling like shit and massively deplorable.
Great fieldcraft, indeed.
I told him things “are what they are” and that I won’t blow his cover nor his honorarium.
He began to feel better. I often wonder if he was serious about the sanctioning thing.
Then I delivered the strategic missile strike.
“Just remember, Toivo. I wrote your dossier for the Company…”
He swivels to look at me.
“And one for the KGB. Olga says ‘howdy’.” I grin evilly.
Toivo short-circuited at that. Russia is his company’s bread and butter. Now he has the KGB as well as his best buddy looking over his shoulder at every move.
I bought him a few more drinks and continued to needle him about his ’leading a double life’. He was well and truly fuckered when the electric tap-tap driver from before came looking for me to whisk me back to the plane.
Seems it was simply some knocked-out wires on the plane, or slammed bulbs that were generating a false positive, indicating something other than the system that alerts one to something haywire went haywire.
Toivo was pretty much down for the count. I got him sober enough to hand them his ticket and ensure that he was really supposed to be on this flight. Thing was; h e was in Economy, and I was, as always, in Business.
I spoke to Luna, and the plane was going to be even less crowded than previously because some folks could or wouldn’t wait, or didn’t want to go on with the rest of the trip on a ‘damaged’ aircraft, or were just stupid and superstitious.
“Luna, could I pay for the difference between Business and Economy for my less than 100% conscious friend here? He’s had a rough day.” I asked.
“Dr. Rock. Just put him into Business. No one will be the wiser. Luna says so.” As she gave us a grand smile.
“Luna, I owe you. Thanks so much.” I said.
“Now get on board. Your friend looks like he needs all the downtime he can get.”
“Yes, ma’am!” I said and saluted here be best I could which dragging a schnozzled Toivo down the jetway.
I dumped Toivo in a window seat well away from my seat. I know Toivo. He snores like a semi-load of live hogs rocketing downhill locking up the brakes at 88 MPH.
Surprise! There was no one else in Business. Luna looked at me, at Toivo, and gave me a thumbs up.
Whatever I can write to further her career at JAL, she’ll have it before I deplane.
We finally get everyone settled, and with Captain Kangaroo at the helm, we bounced gracelessly off the tarmac, into the warm, tropical Hawaiian air, finally headed for the Land of the Rising Sun.
Toivo was snoring like a chainsaw hitting rusty nails as I worked on the various letters, communiques, and dossiers which needed updating before we reached touchdown. I gave Luna a thick letter with instructions not to open it until we were on the ground and Toivo and I were well off and away into the terminal.
We left Hawaii at 1300 hours, so we should arrive at Tokyo Nareda around 4:00 pm, the previous day. I was so bereft of time and time zones, I couldn’t figure out what time it really was, as judged by my biometric rhythms, so I asked Luna for a stiff drink as I was kicking off my boots and going to attempt to get some kip.
She brought me another liter or so eponymous drink. I was sawing logs by the time I slurped the last swig of that nifty drink.
Suddenly, or later, I have no idea really, some loudmouth drunk asshole from way-the-fuck-back in economy-land toward the ass end of the plane staggered into Business demanding free drinks.
Luna was nothing but civil, and asked him to both shut up and return to his seat. His air cabin hostess, or whatever the fuck they’re calling them these days, will attend to his needs.
“Naw they won’t! They want me to pay for more drinks! I’m broke but I demand more booze! You fucking owe me.” railed the asshole. “I sat at the bar in Hawaii for four hours. Them fuckers charged me an arm and a leg!”
“No, they don’t owe you shit”, I said in a voice that unmistakably loud and clear.
“Fuck you, old man! You stay the fuck out of this!” he bellowed. “Shut up or I’ll do ya’!”
“’Old man’? ‘Do me’? Excuse me. Luna, may I have a word alone with this individual?” I asked sweetly.
Luna shook her head in the affirmative, and I stood up to confront this flagrant asshole.
“Now look, Scooter. You have gone way, way over the fucking line. You are loud. You are abusive. You are obnoxious. And you stink. Plus you insulted a person who is just barely containing his righteous wrath right now. So, I’m giving you one and one only chance to shut up, sit back down before your body spontaneously develops all sort of bruises, contusions, broken bones, and unconsciousness.” I said calmly, evenly, and threateningly.
“What da’ fuck you think you’re going to do…old man?” he screeched, trying to inflate himself into full mammalian threat posture, all 5’ 9” of it.
He didn’t notice Toivo walking up quietly behind him, as Toivo was returning from the head, quiet as a moose.
“Well, Scooter, I am an Air Marshall. Duly appointed, fully trained, and properly pissed off. Right now, I can arrest you, physically detain you, turn this flight around and take you to the Hawaiian police, at your cost for the inconvenience of the entire flight. Or I could arrest you, physically detain you, and turn you over to the Japanese authorities when we land. It’s really your choice. Choose wisely.”
To be continued…⇝

Happy New Year /Detroit! Every day people come to ask "What should I do in the city??" and this updated thread is our chance to tell them. It's been 3+ years since its been updated so a lot has changed. Keeping a similar format to the 2014 and 2011 editions comment below with any suggestion(s) and a short reason why you recommend it.
Everyone's collective picks will be added into the list below and then added to the sidebar. Closed businesses have already been removed, new Museums section now broken out, if you have any adds/deletes/edits to existing list, just shout it out, I'll leave this post as a sticky and open over the next week so all have a chance to contribute. See below:

Entertainment & Attractions

Public Spaces/Parks:

• Belle Isle Michigans most visited State Park; from Sunset Point to the Conservatory and Aquarium, many beaches there's lots to discover here.
• Eastern Market one of the largest and oldest open-air farmers markets in the country
• Campus Martius highly regarded as one of the best city parks in the country and home to many events throughout the year. Home to Detroit's Christmas tree and an ice-skating rink in the winter.
• Detroit People Mover it's not the most useful system for transit, but is actually a good way to see downtown in a quick 20-30 minutes
• Riverwalk A walkable view of Canada and Detroit River.
• Rouge Park for great outdoor times
• Chandler Park
• Historic Fort Wayne when open

Entertainment Venues:

• El Club Music venue in Mexicantown that also has amazing NY style pizza
• Marble Bar Music venue that also hosts WDET's monthly Moth storytelling
• Garden Bowl/Magic Stick Historic bowling alley, dive bar and concert venue under one roof.
• Baker's Keyboard Lounge top-notch jazz club
• PJ's Lager House live music, local beer on tap
• Theaters Detroit is home to the second largest theater district in the Fillmore, Fox Theater, Masonic Temple, Fisher Theater, Gem, Music Hall, St. Andrews, Detroit Opera House, City Theater, Majestic, Max M. Fisher Music Center

Seasonal:

• Detroit City Football Club (also see /DetroitCityFC) amazing soccer team, nationally recognized.
• Detroit Derby Girls Bouts take place at the Masonic Temple

Other:

• Detroit Film Theatre 1,200 seat auditorium located at the DIA, catch a screening.
• Cinema Detroit Movie theater located in Midtown, select indie films and new releases
• Casinos We have three! Greektown, MGM Grand and Motor City.

Museums & Exhibits

• Detroit Institute of Arts Free for Wayne, Oakland, and Macomb county residents.
• Motown Museum the birthplace of Motown music, located in New Center
• Henry Ford Museum/Greenfield Village Good for vistors if they have a few hours and transportation.
• MOCAD Contemporary Art Museum in an amazing raw space, always changing exhibitions and a nice little shop inside. Located on Woodward in Midtown.
• Michigan Science Center hands-on exhibits, IMAX Dome, Planetarium, mad scientists with liquid nitrogen and lightning. good for kids, located in Midtown.
• Outdoor Adventure Center located in the newly restored Globe Trading Building.
• Charles H. Wright Museum of African-American History
• Tuskegee Airmen Museum
• African Bead Museum
• Dossin Great Lakes Museum located on Belle Isle
• Ford Piquette Plant historic auto production facility and birthplace of the Model T.

Retail & Shopping

• John K. King Books Downtown; Largest used bookstore in the state, located in an old glove warehouse
• Pewabic Pottery near Islandview; Detroit original, lots of original ceramic art work to view and purchase
• Third Man Records Retail store and Vinyl Manufacturing plant, owned/operated by Jack White
• City Bird Midtown; Handmade goods from local and regional designers
• People's Records Gratiot in Eastern Market; Internationally renowned treasure trove of rare vinyl, with a focus on Detroit produced stuff
• Hello Records Corktown; Newer record shop with a great collection of new and old vinyl
• Pure Detroit Downtown and New Center; Detroit themed t-shirts, magnets, etc.
• Shinola Flagship Store watches, bikes and leather goods.
• The Hub A Bicycle shop with a charitable bent and affordable bikes.
• Avenue of Fashion Located at Livernois and Outer Drive; shopping district off the beaten path
• Run Detroit Running gear store in Midtown, hosts a welcoming run club every Saturday morning at 8am
• Paramita Sound Record store in West Village

Places to eat:

• Coney Islands Lafayette or American, take your pick. Duly's Place in Mexicantown as another OG contender.
• Supino Pizzeria Eastern Market; Best NY style pizza in the city, delicious fresh ingredients
• Cass Cafe Restaurant and art gallery in Cass Corridor.
• Green Dot Stables Grab your saddle, best sliders in the city.
• Johnny Noodle King one of Detroit's ramen noodle houses
• The Bronx Midtown. Classic dive bar with an equally classic jukebox and a burger that's out of this world.
• Sweetwater Tavern Downtown, /Detroit's pick for 'Best Wings in the City'
• Buddy's Pizza Original Detroit style pizza, well regarded by foodies and chefs.
• Rock City Eatery on Woodward in Midtown. Cheap drinks and great food.
• Dutch Girl Donuts Palmer Park. Best donuts in the city, been doing it the same way forever.
• Mudgies Deli Corktown fresh sandwich shop with patio, recently expanded.
• Cadieux Cafe Jazz music throughout the week and authentic Featherbowling.
• Slow's BBQ Corktown. BBQ that put Corktown as a food destination on the map. Check out Slows-To-Go in Midtown if you're looking to skip the wait.
• The Food Exchange famous for the Big Baby burger
• Vincente's Great Cuban food. Salsa dancing. 20+ types of tequila
• Ottava Via Italian joint in Corktown. Great food, laid back atmosphere.
• Mercury Bar Good food and beer selection and the atmosphere is really cool.
• Townhouse located Downtown
• Bucharest Grill Amazing Shawarma and good prices, 3 locations around the city.
• Scotty Simpson's Northwest side for fish and chips
• Polish Village Cafe Eat your Polish Grandmother's cooking. A Hamtramck staple.
• The Whitney Restaurant in a gorgeous historic mansion. Ambience is spectacular, food has gone through down periods. Good spot for an important date night. Don't be surprised to see a marriage proposal.
• Giovanni's Arguably the best Italian food in the city. Neighborhood is what happens when you zone Heavy Industrial in Sim City, but the food, service and ambience are world-class.
• London Chop House A famous Detroit restaurant name brought back to life, it's a classic dark-wood, old-school steakhouse. Frank Sinatra and Henry Ford II had tables there. Just opened a cigar bar in the same building for after-dinner lounging.
• Roast "Iron Chef" Michael Symon's restaurant in the Westin Book Cadillac hotel. Things happen to meat here that you never thought possible.
• Joe Muer's Seafood Like the London Chop House, a classic name from Detroit restaurant history brought back to life. Located in the ground floor of the GM Renaissance Center, lunch is comprised almost entirely of GM suppliers taking their customers out to lunch, but dinner is another matter.
• Golden Fleece Greektown. "Best Gyro in town" and other greek specialties.
• Mexicantown Most authentic Mexican food in the city, can't go wrong: Los Altos, Taqueria Lupitas, Taqueria Nuestra Familia, Taqueria El Rey, or Taqueria Mi Pueblo.
• ** Takoi** Northern Thai inspired restaurant. James Beard finalist
• Selden Standard Fine dining, local, small plates. Also great brunch.
• Wright & Co Fine dining, local, small plates.
• Republic Fine dining, local, small plates.
• ima Corktown, Udon noodles.
• Flower's of Vietnam Vietnamese restaurant run by a Lebanese chef in an old Mexicantown coney. Only in Detroit.
• Polonia Restaurant Home style Polish and Eastern European food, located right next to Polish Village cafe in Hamtramck.
• Apparatus Room Fine restaurant & bar in the Detroit Foundation Hotel near Cobo Center.
• People's Bakery One of Southwest's finest local shops.

Brunch Spots

• Cliff Bells Foxtown. Bottomless mimosas and bloody Mary's and great selection of French and Soul Food inspired dishes
• Hudson Cafe Downtown. Red velvet pancakes, graham cracker-crusted French toast, and Voodoo Eggs Benedict
• Seva Midtown. great Brunch for Vegan's and Vegetarian's- Small but good beewine selection
• Brooklyn Street Local Corktown. banana pancakes with caramelized walnuts, an inevitably delicious quiche-of-the-day, and of course, the Hangover Special, and some damn good Poutine!
• La Dolce Vita North Detroit. smooth jazz, salmon hash, and the shrimp Benedict make for a fabulous brunch experience
• The Dime Store Downtown. a great selection of Omelets, Benedicts, Sandwiches, and Hash (from Executive Chef Josh, who has spent 2 decades in award winning restaraunts in Chicago, NYC, and A2) and of course, BOOZE! (Their Duck Rueben is out of this world)
• Foran's Grand Trunk Pub Downtown. Great meal options throughout the day but their brunch is great (May I recommend their Corktown sandwich or the Lobster Benedict) with a great local beer selection to boot
• Rose's Fine Foods Rivertown. Homesick for mom's cooking? This place has incredible baked goods and delicious sandwiches that make you feel right at home
• The Clique Breakfast spot on Jefferson in Rivertown area
• Honest Johns Midtown. Good all around menu, drink list and Chicken & Waffles.
• Detroit Institute of Bagels Traditional bagels plus soups & sandwiches in an airy, industrial space with counter seating.

Places to drink:

Breweries:

• Batch Brewing Co. Corktown small batch brewery with 15+ beers on tap and Louisiana-style food.
• Detroit Beer Co. Great beer as well as great food. The Hair of the Dog burger is fantastic.
• Atwater Detroit brewery near the Riverfront
• Brew Detroit Contract brewing facility with a great open space and their own brews. Across the park from Batch. The Loaded Die hosts Tuesday boardgame nights here.
• Eastern Market Brewing Company The large pink elephant mural is hard to miss.
• Founders taproom Needs no introduction
• Motor City Brewing Works Midtown; Microbrewery with delicious beer and uniquely-topped pizzas, rooftop seating in the Summer
• Jolly Pumpkin Brewery Tap room specializing in Sour Beer and Ciders

Bars:

• Motor City Wine located in Corktown.
• SugarHouse Carefully crafted cocktails in a hunting lodge sharing a wall with Slow's. Hells yea.
• Woodbridge Pub
• Cafe D'Mongo's a unique and eclectic "speakeasy." reasonably priced and strong cocktails, live music every night (Fri & Sat only)
• Cliff Bells a solid jazz club right downtown (could be under entertainment as well)
• Dakota Inn Rathskeller a German underground beer hall that transports you straight to Europe, featuring German food, music, and beer. Especially popular during Oktoberfest (mid-September to end of October).
• Jacoby's Biergarten good selection of draft beer, solid German food, and a huge international beer selection
• Jolly Ol' Timers North Cass Corridor. If they're open, you won't find a bar full of more interesting people.
• Old Miami Midtown. A Veterans bar, During the summer, the back yard is the best place to drink in the city.
• Foran's Grand Trunk Pub Downtown; great selection of local Michigan beers, with decent food to accompany it
• Northern Lights Lounge New Center bar with a great patio and decent food.
• Two Way Inn One of the oldest bars in the city
• The Skip Popular alley bar in The Belt
• Ready Player One Barcarde
• Checker BaOffworld Arcade Burger bar & Barcade near Campus Martius

Coffeeshops:

• Astro Coffee a popular cafe in Corktown
• Great Lakes Coffee Roasting Co. Chill coffee bar with beer, wine and some food.
• Socre Tea A tea shop/cafe in midtown. Tucked away on Garfield and John R. Super quiet and relaxing.
• Ashe Supply Co. Small-batch java drinks plus pastries, sandwiches and other goods just off Grand Circus Park in Downtown
• Dessert Oasis Espresso, house-roasted coffee & pastries served in a brick-walled space with artwork & live music. Good window views located Downtown in Capital Park.

Landmarks

• The Grand Lobbies of Detroit See here: http://imgur.com/a/tqC8i
• Guardian Building another beautiful example of Art Deco architecture
• Fisher Building "the worlds largest art project" and a prime example of Detroit's rich Art Deco history
• The Fist of Joe Louis Woodward/Jefferson Ave
• Ford Piquette Plant historic auto production facility and birthplace of the Model T.
• The Spirit of Detroit Woodward/Jefferson Ave.
• Hart Plaza Found along the Riverwalk; a public space that's home to Movement, Detroit Jazz Fest and other festivals throughout the year.
• Senator Palmer’s Font Hill Log House and fountain in Palmer Park (when open).

Sunday:
NORTH:
· 1. First U.S. Olympic rhythmic-gymnastics team trained in Deerfield (Chicago Tribune)
· 2. Skokie woman chosen to be part of GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump's National Hispanic Advisory Council (Chicago Sun-Times)
WEST:
· 3. New addition to Glenbard West High School in Glen Ellyn sets stage for school's future (Daily Herald)
· 4. Cicero man killed in shooting in Cicero (CBS 2)
SOUTHWEST:
· 5. Person tackles Plainfield man who robbed Bolingbrook Bingo hall of $4,000 at knifepoint before robber gets away (ABC 7)
SOUTH:
· 6. Lansing: Little Calumet River levee-improvement project stalled because 11 residents haven't signed off on easement agreements (Northwest Indiana Times)
NORTHWEST INDIANA:
· 7. Cancer Resource Centre in Munster offers healing garden for meditation, reflection(Northwest Indiana Times)
· 8. Merrillville looking into partnership with Gary Public Transportation Corp. that would provide shuttles to connect town's residents with existing bus routes (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 9. Man fatally shot after fight that started at Hammond bar (CBS 2)
· 10. Gary Redevelopment Commission selects East Chicago native to paint mural with the theme of 'resurgence' (Chicago Tribune/Gary Post-Tribune)
· 11. Munster resident pens book in hopes of saving elephants (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 12. Former Gary mayoral candidate sues city, Redevelopment Commission over deal with MaiaCo LLC (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 13. Municipalities, including Michigan City, call for citizen panel to draw legislative district lines (Northwest Indiana Times)
Monday:
NORTH:
· 14. U.S. Sen. Mark Kirk says President Obama 'acting like drug-dealer-in-chief' in response to question about money paid to Iran, release of hostages (NBC 5)
· 15. Glenview police search for man who tried to lure several children into his car (FOX 32)
· 16. Alleged victim files medical-malpractice lawsuit against Wilmette doctor whom she claims provided prescription medications in exchange for sex while she was 17-years-old (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 17. Skokie police arrest four people in connection with several car burglaries that took place Sunday, Aug. 21 (Chicago Sun-Times)
NORTHWEST:
· 18. 18-year-old charged with stabbing man at Woodstock house party (FOX 32)
· 19. Arlington Heights Elementary School District 25 to spend about $600,000 to buy laptops for all of its middle-school students (Daily Herald)
· 20. Bartlett village administrator to retire next January after 35 years on the job (Daily Herald)
· 21. Driver of SUV seriously injured when semi truck runs red light on Route 176 in Crystal Lake (Daily Herald)
· 22. Des Plaines Subway restaurant robbed of more than $400 at 3 a.m. Sunday (Daily Herald)
WEST:
· 23. Fire at Oakbrook Terrace motel causes evacuation; one person injured (CBS 2)
· 24. Rosemont swears in original 'Incredible Hulk' actor Lou Ferrigno as honorary public-safety officer during Wizard World Chicago (ABC 7)
· 25. Car lands 200 feet off road following crash in Batavia; driver extricated from vehicle (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 26. Dow Furniture in North Aurora closing (Daily Herald)
· 27. Fox Valley Wildlife Center reports goose recovering after group of Batavia High School students attacked it (Daily Herald)
· 28. Soldier from Maywood dies in Food Hood, Texas, barracks (CBS 2/Associated Press)
· 29. DuPage Public Safety Communications (DuComm) may move to DuPage County Complex in 2018 (Daily Herald)
· 30. 14 people taken to hospital after gas leak at Sugar Grove chemical distributor (Daily Herald)
· 31. New Jersey-based Strategic Properties of North America buys Briarbrook Village apartments in Wheaton for $50 million (Crain's Chicago Business)
SOUTHWEST:
· 32. Cyclist critically injured after being hit by car in Chicago Ridge; driver being questioned (CBS 2)
· 33. Pregnant Florida woman moves in with mother in Orland Park to avoid Zika virus (CBS 2)
· 34. 28-year-old Crest Hill man convicted of possession of child pornography, given three years probation, must register as sex offender for life (Chicago Tribune)
SOUTH:
· 35. Police, SWAT team engage in 8-hour standoff on Monday at Park Forest home where they thought burglary suspects were; suspects remain at large (CBS 2)
NORTHWEST INDIANA:
· 36. Airports across Northwest Indiana fighting economic head winds, drop in licensed pilots (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 37. Lake County deputy rescues dog from burning car in Gary (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 38. Crete man arrested in Dyer after high-speed chase that followed attempted traffic stop in Cedar Lake (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 39. Michigan City-based NW Indiana Gay Straight Coalition aims to improve relations with LGBT community, reduce gun violence (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 40. Northwest Indiana communities witness decrease in homicide rate (Chicago Tribune/Gary Post-Tribune)
· 41. East Chicago police seek hit-and-run driver who injured ArcelorMittal worker on his way to work (Northwest Indiana Times)
Tuesday:
NORTH:
· 42. Libertyville-Vernon Hills Area High School District 128 to look for places to cut after board approves $98.3 million budget (Daily Herald)
· 43. Fourth-grade teacher at Skokie school uses rap video to introduce himself to his students (NBC 5)
· 44. Would-be smash-and-grab burglary of Libertyville gun shop thwarted by weapons not being on sales floor (Chicago Tribune/Libertyville Review)
· 45. Manager of Northbrook beauty salon, daughter narrowly missed being hit by car that crashed into salon's front door (Chicago Tribune/Northbrook Star)
· 46. Armed robber gets away cash, cigarettes during robbery at Libertyville gas station (Chicago Sun-Times)
NORTHWEST:
· 47. West Dundee approves downtown special taxing district despite business owners' objections (Daily Herald)
· 48. 87-year-old Arlington Heights man charged with battery for using pepper spray on officers sent to check on his well-being (Chicago Tribune/Arlington Heights Post)
· 49. Carpentersville launches interactive shopping/marketing tool on village website (Daily Herald)
· 50. Sears Holdings reopens Des Plaines Kmart (Daily Herald)
WEST:
· 51. Special census to be conducted in North Aurora beginning Sept. 1 (Daily Herald)
· 52. Wheaton City Council reducing plans for downtown improvements, while debating bond sales (Daily Herald)
· 53. Darien man struck and killed by train on Metra BNSF line in Hinsdale (Chicago Tribune/The Doings)
· 54. Man robs Addison bank (ABC 7)
· 55. Clarendon Hills cyclist struck and killed in Hinsdale (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 56. Aurora man dies as result of rollover accident in Virgil Township (Kane County) (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 57. Glen Ellyn Elementary School District 41 has busing problems on first day of school (Daily Herald)
· 58. Elk Grove Village gives Marino's Wood Fire Restaurant permission for outdoor dining (Daily Herald)
· 59. Kane County Sheriff's Office reinstates school-resource officers in Kaneland, Burlington Central high schools (Daily Herald)
· 60. Head of Choose DuPage urges better use of public transit, bicycles as way to boost county's job market (Crain's Chicago Business)
SOUTHWEST:
· 61. Woman reunited with doctors, nurses who saved her life 10 years ago at Oak Lawn hospital, where she now also works (NBC 5)
NORTHWEST INDIANA:
· 62. Taltree Arboretum & Gardens in Valparaiso euthanizes 4-year-old 16-pound Giant Chinchilla rabbit after it gets sick (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 63. Woman from East Chicago, man from Hammond charged with child endangerment after leaving infants in car while they were gambling at casino (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 64. Crown Point considers pay hikes for non-elected employees, incentives for police officers to live in city (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 65. Split decision forces choice of new Portage Township School member to courts (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 66. Hobart may create program to encourage businesses to invest in green infrastructure (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 67. NIPSCO plans to shutter coal-fired generation station in Chesterton by 2018, much of Wheatfield facility by 2023 (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 68. Porter County Board rejects wheel tax to generate money for road/bridge projects; moves $5.5 million into rainy-day fund (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 69. Fugitive from LaPorte County leads officers on chase; found in cubby hole underneath plywood door in his home (Northwest Indiana Times)
REGIONAL
· 70. Indiana shore drawing Chicago-area commuters away from the big city (Chicago Tribune)
Wednesday:
NORTH:
· 71. Morton Grove, Wheeling men plead guilty to defrauding schools of $33 million of tutoring funds (CBS 2)
· 72. Highland Park extends contract with embattled red-light-camera firm Redflex Traffic Systems to give police time to find a replacement (Chicago Tribune/Highland Park News)
· 73. Two people arrested after drug lab discovered in Waukegan apartment during eviction (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 74. Lincolnshire-Prairie View School District 103 OKs budget, which includes additions at two schools (Daily Herald)
· 75. Island Lake Village Board to consider raising mayor's salary to $25,000, tops in Lake County (Daily Herald)
NORTHWEST:
· 76. Former Crystal Lake resident pleads guilty to drug-induced homicide in death of McHenry mother (Chicago Tribune)
· 77. Streamwood teen accused of running over his father three times with a car during fight with relatives in Chicago (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 78. Law going into effect in 2017 would allow Elgin Area Unit School District U-46 CEO to also serve as district's superintendent (Daily Herald)
· 79. Illinois Department of Transportation agrees to $4 million in funding for proposed U.S. 14 underpass beneath Canadian National Railroad tracks in Barrington (Daily Herald)
WEST:
· 80. Forest Park-based Nadeau's Ice Sculptures turns ice into works of art (WGN TV)
· 81. Engineering firm: Batavia needs larger stormwater pipes, to invest more in culvert maintenance to resolve flooding problems on city's southeast side (Daily Herald)
· 82. Naperville launches program to help police officers, firefighters, members of the military, reservists, veterans, health-care and EMS workers, teachers with real-estate financing (Daily Herald)
· 83. One person killed in car crash in Maywood (NBC 5)
· 84. DuPage judge orders release of dash-cam video related to Lisle man's claim Naperville police tried to run him over during a protest (Chicago Tribune)
· 85. Bloomingdale to reduce telecommunications tax from 5 percent to 3 percent (Daily Herald)
· 86. Aurora activists upset about using non-local artists for blues mural, which they say doesn't represent the city or its connection to the style of music (Daily Herald)
· 87. Atlanta-based T5 Data Centers acquires former Forsythe Technologies building in Elk Grove Village for new data center (Crain's Chicago Business)
SOUTHWEST:
· 88. Actor Nick Offerman to visit Minooka High School on Oct. 23 as part of book tour (Chicago Tribune)
SOUTH:
· 89. Man shot outside house in Flossmoor (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 90. Child struck by car in Merrionette Park (FOX 32)
NORTHWEST INDIANA:
· 91. Thieves steal more than $1,000 worth of razor blades in less than four minutes at Chesterton CVS store (NBC 5)
· 92. Northwest Indiana's unemployment rate drops to 5.8 percent in July (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 93. Highland town officials want new municipal building, citing numerous condition issues with current facilty (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 94. East Chicago man accused of stealing cologne from Hobart's Southlake Mall, attempted to carjack a woman leaving the mall (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 95. Gary police seek man in connection with bank robbery (Northwest Indiana Times)
REGIONAL
· 96. Illinois legislator introduces bill to protect parks, sensitive properties from Pokémon GO players (ABC 7)
Thursday:
NORTH:
· 97. Northwestern University unearths 1954 time capsule inside institution's library (CBS 2)
· 98. Lake County coroner appeals removal from ballot to Illinois Supreme Court (Chicago Tribune/Lake County News-Sun)
· 99. Zion man charged with multiple felonies in fatal May 13 car crash in Graylake (Chicago Tribune/Lake County News-Sun)
· 100. Woman convicted of Deerfield toddler's death at Lincolnshire daycare facility to get new trial (Chicago Tribune)
· 101. Wheeling man charged with criminal aggravated sexual assault, predatory criminal sexual assault of two children from his neighborhood (Daily Herald)
· 102. Fox Waterway Agency struggling to deal with sediment in Chain of Lakes, Fox River (Chicago Tribune/Lake County News-Sun)
· 103. Prairie Grove police officer on trial for DUI following crash that wrecked village-owned vehicle (Chicago Tribune)
· 104. Mundelein Parks & Recreation District to borrow $4 million to replace Chalet at Keith Mione Community Park with larger multi-use facility (Daily Herald)
NORTHWEST:
· 105. Former Rosati's Pizza building on Route 31 in Carpentersville to be torn down; village hopes it will spur further redevelopment (Daily Herald)
· 106. Imam of Elgin Islamic center pleads guilty to sexual abuse of student, must register as a sex offender (CBS 2)
· 107. Bartlett family battles Canadian National Railroad over fallen trees, branches that damaged their fence (NBC 5)
· 108. Pennsylvania woman charged with filing false rape/battery report in Schaumburg; Rolling Meadows man charged with trespassing in same incident (FOX 32)
· 109. Executive director of Schaumburg Township District Library to retire at year's end (Daily Herald)
· 110. Rivers Casino donates $5,000 to help bring traveling Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall to Des Plaines (Daily Herald)
WEST:
· 111. Environmental activists claim Cicero-based Tough Cuts Inc. is allowing construction rubble to creep into Chicago Sanitary and Shipping Canal, threatening wildlife (CBS 2)
· 112. Pizza-delivery driver robbed at gunpoint in Willowbrook (CBS 2)
· 113. Terror suspect from Hillside deemed unfit to stand trial; sent to psychiatric facility for treatment (CBS 2/Chicago Sun-Times)
· 114. Aurora mayor to step down from post in October due to cancer, treatment (ABC 7)
· 115. Gas leak closes South Finley Road in Lombard (ABC 7)
· 116. DuPage judge rules against Hinsdale in attempt to remove sculpture from couple's yard (ABC 7)
· 117. Batavia aldermen indicate willingness to demolish historic First Baptist Church to make way for redevelopment (Daily Herald)
SOUTHWEST:
· 118. Tickets go on sale for Freaky Deaky 2016 Halloween festival at Toyota Park in Bridgeview (CBS 2)
SOUTH:
· 119. Homeless man wanted for fatal shooting in Harvey arrested in Virginia (CBS 2)
· 120. Hammond man believed to have robbed Lansing Goodwill store dies in car crash on Ridge Road (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 121. 20-year-old man shot to death in Flossmoor (Chicago Tribune/Daily Southtown)
· 122. Midlothian bank robbed (Chicago Sun-Times)
NORTHWEST INDIANA:
· 123. Man killed by semi trailer on I-80/94 near Lake Station after exiting his pickup, which was involved in a crash with another vehicle (FOX 32)
· 124. Vote on East Chicago homeless shelter postponed after city planner says dry-cleaning business was located on proposed site (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 125. Portage Rotary Club looking to rebuild after membership dwindles to one person (Northwest Indiana Times)
Friday:
NORTH:
· 126. Waukegan man charged with drug-induced homicide in Antioch man's death (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 127. U-Haul pulls out of Lake Zurich; Life Storage Inc. has eye on same property (Daily Herald)
· 128. Fox Lake pension board to await outcome of Melody Gliniewicz's criminal trial before making decision on late husband's pension (Daily Herald)
· 129. Two carjackings reported overnight in Evanston (CBS 2)
· 130. Waukegan School District 60 to replace pipes, water fountains in areas serving preschoolers, kindergarteners (Chicago Tribune/Lake County News-Sun)
NORTHWEST:
· 131. Lemonade Brigade raising money for McHenry County girl who crawled into a hot car and passed out, suffering heat injuries (CBS 2)
· 132. Schaumburg woman convicted of killing her severely-disabled daughter granted bond, could be freed (Chicago Tribune)
· 133. Elgin councilman objects to city's sale of parking lots to St. Joseph Catholic Church without putting the properties on the market first (Daily Herald)
· 134. St. Louis-based Capstone Development Group buys The Tower Building in Elgin after two years of negotiations (Daily Herald)
· 135. Two men jailed for crimes in Woodstock now charged with burglary in Union (CBS 2)
· 136. Elgin-based Nick's Pizza & Pub plans expansion into Chicago (NBC 5)
· 137. Referendum on ballot to decide fate of proposed early-learning center in Mount Prospect-based River Trails School District 26 (Daily Herald)
· 138. Palatine-Schaumburg High School District 211 schedules parent open houses for Thursday, Sept. 1 (Daily Herald)
· 139. Elgin Community College lays off 15 employees, considers other cuts in face of state funding shortfalls (Daily Herald)
· 140. Taxpayers question referendum seeking $130 million for construction put forward by Palatine Elementary School District 15 (Daily Herald)
WEST:
· 141. Naperville 'salt spa' shuts down suddenly, leaving cystic-fibrosis patients out money and nowhere to go(CBS 2)
· 142. Fenton High School District 100 board, teachers reach pact, holding off on cost-of-living increases for two years, but giving them raises based on experience, education (Daily Herald)
· 143. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar discusses social action during book-promotion appearance at North Central College in Naperville (Daily Herald)
· 144. Residents raise concerns about intersection of Oak Street and Ravine Road following cyclist's death (ABC 7)
· 145. Batavia police: Investigation shows teens didn't attack goose at Batavia High School corn boil (Chicago Tribune/Aurora Beacon-News)
· 146. No injuries reported when bus rolls over on Roosevelt Road in West Chicago (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 147. Elk Grove Park District demolishes buildings at Community Athletic Fields to make way for new facilities (Daily Herald)
SOUTHWEST:
· 148. Lockport man pleads guilty to domestic abuse, sentenced to 9 years in prison (FOX 32)
· 149. Darien woman become first DuPage County person with West Nile virus in 2016 (Daily Herald)
SOUTH:
· 150. Car struck by bullets on I-57 in Matteson (CBS 2)
· 151. Dolton man in custody in Lansing now charged with multiple armed robberies in Hammond (Chicago Sun-Times)
NORTHWEST INDIANA:
· 152. Semi-truck driver from LaPorte killed in crash with three other vehicles on I-80/94 near Hammond (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 153. Security guard in Gary hit with hammer, robbed of bag containing gun (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 154. Lowell, Tri-Creek School Corp. to partner on school resource officer (Northwest Indiana Times)
REGIONAL
· 155. Cook County assessor refunds $6.1 million to municipalities collected because of 'erroneous' exemptions (NBC 5)
Saturday:
NORTH:
· 156. Woman killed in high-speed, head-on crash on Golf Road in Morton Grove (WGN TV)
· 157. Firefighters rescue group of teens from Deerfield water tower (WGN TV)
· 158. North Chicago police arrest suspect in Waukegan home invasion that left disabled man injured (Chicago Tribune/Lake County News-Sun)
· 159. Extensive restoration work under way at St. Paul the Apostle Church in Gurnee (Daily Herald)
NORTHWEST:
· 160. Governor signs into law bill spawned by fight over Crystal Lake South High School bleachers (Chicago Tribune)
WEST:
· 161. Aurora to review liquor license for Latin American Club where man died in Aug. 1 shooting (Chicago Tribune/Aurora Beacon-News)
· 162. Naperville opens $24 million Fort Hill Activity Center (Chicago Tribune/Naperville Sun)
SOUTHWEST:
· 163. Oak Lawn mothers/teachers create one-of-a-kind books that teach kids acceptance, confidence, kindness, respect (ABC 7)
· 164. Joliet man charged with grooming Mokena boy for sex via e-mail (CBS 2)
SOUTH:
· 165. Cook County State's Attorney's Office investigating case where lawyer who posed as judge at Markham courthouse (Chicago Tribune)
NORTHWEST INDIANA:
· 166. Lowell girl who found abandoned baby in family's back yard to appear on 'The Steve Harvey Show' on Oct. 4 (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 167. South Haven man charged with molesting a child now facing child-porn charges (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 168. St. John swears in first female police officer (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 169. Merrillville warns residents to lock Dumpsters after Waste Management threatens to cut off garbage collection because of illegal dumping (Northwest Indiana Times)

Alright its been 3+ years since we created Detroit's official sidebar "list of things to do" and a lot has changed. People keep asking so let's give it another go. I'll leave this post as a sticky for the next week so everyone's brains can stew over the best of the best in the city.
Keeping the same format as last time, comment with your suggestion(s) and a short reason why you would recommend it. Everyone's collective picks will be added into the list below.
Places to eat:

• Coney Islands Lafayette or American, take your pick.
• Supino Pizzeria Eastern Market; Best NY style pizza in the city, delicious fresh ingredients
• Motor City Brewing Works Midtown; Microbrewery with delicious beer and uniquely-topped pizzas, rooftop seating in the summer
• Cass Cafe Restaurant and art gallery in Cass Corridor.
• Green Dot Stables Grab your saddle, best sliders in the city.
• Johnny Noodle King Detroit's noodle house, a block from Green Dot on Fort St., owned by the same guy.
• Rock City Eatery in Hamtramck. Cheap drinks and great food.
• Dutch Girl Donuts Palmer Park. Best donuts in the city, been doing it the same way forever.
• Roma Cafe Detroit's oldest Italian restaurant.
• Mudgies Deli Corktown fresh sandwich shop.
• Cadieux Cafe Jazz music throughout the week. and featherbowling.
• Slow's BBQ Corktown. Hipsters will howl that it's overrated, but are you going to trust them or Slow's fantastic reputation that constantly sees them on national travel shows?
• The Food Exchange famous for the Big Baby burger
• Vincente's Great Cuban food. Salsa dancing. 20+ types of tequila
• Ottava Via Italian joint in Corktown. Great food, laid back atmosphere.
• Mercury Bar Good food and beer selection and the atmosphere is really cool.
• Bucharest Grill Amazing Shawarma and good prices, located inside Park Bar.
• The Clique Breakfast spot on Jefferson in Rivertown area
• Northwest Side foods: Scotty Simpson's for fish and chips, Nu Wave (seafood), Aunt Betty's (soul food), J's Cafe (soul food)
• Sweetwater delicious wings
• Buddy's Pizza @ Conant/7 mile. Original Detroit style pizza well regarded by foodies and chefs
• Mexicantown Can't go wrong: Los Altos, Taqueria Lupitas, Taqueria Nuestra Familia, Taqueria El Rey, or Taqueria Mi Pueblo.
• Golden Fleece located in Greektown, best Gyro in town.
• Coach Insignia high atop the Renaissance Center, best view you'll get of the city from a dinner table, food is pretty good as well.
• Polish Village Cafe Eat your Polish Grandmother's cooking. A Hamtramck staple.
• Guns and Butter Detroit's only Michelin Star style dining experience.
• The Whitney Restaurant in a gorgeous historic mansion. Ambience is spectacular, food has gone through down periods. Good spot for an important date night. Don't be surprised to see a marriage proposal.
• Giovanni's Arguably the best Italian food in the city. Neighborhood is what happens when you zone Heavy Industrial in Sim City, but the food, service and ambience are world-class.
• London Chop House A famous Detroit restaurant name brought back to life, it's a classic dark-wood, old-school steakhouse. Frank Sinatra and Henry Ford II had tables there. Just opened a cigar bar in the same building for after-dinner lounging.
• Coach Insignia Restaurant at the top of the GM Renaissance Center. Whatever restaurant has been in this space has always been more about the view than the food and this is no exception, but the view makes up for it.
• Roast "Iron Chef" Michael Symon's restaurant in the Westin Book Cadillac hotel. Things happen to meat here that you never thought possible.
• Joe Muer's Seafood Like the London Chop House, a classic name from Detroit restaurant history brought back to life. Located in the ground floor of the GM Renaissance Center, lunch is comprised almost entirely of GM suppliers taking their customers out to lunch, but dinner is another matter.
• Dangerously Delicious Pies Midtown. Meat and sweet pies of several varieties. Located in the back of 3rd street bar.
• Golden Fleece Greektown. "best Gyro in town" and other greek specialties.
• Taqueria Lupita's** Mexicantown

Brunch Spots

• Cliff Bells Foxtown. Bottomless mimosas and bloody Mary's and great selection of French and Soul Food inspired dishes
• Fountain Bistro Campus Martius. Bottomless Mimosas and Bloody Mary Bar. Good place for french toast.
• Hudson Cafe Downtown. Red velvet pancakes, graham cracker-crusted French toast, and Voodoo Eggs Benedict every day (Sunday: Expect a wait)
• Seva Midtown. great Brunch for Vegan's and Vegetarian's- Small but good beewine selection
• Brooklyn Street Local Corktown. banana pancakes with caramelized walnuts, an inevitably delicious quiche-of-the-day, and of course, the Hangover Special, and some damn good Poutine!
• La Dolce Vita North Detroit. smooth jazz, salmon hash, and the shrimp Benedict make for a fabulous brunch experience
• The Dime Store Downtown. a great selection of Omelets, Benedicts, Sandwiches, and Hash (from Executive Chef Josh, who has spent 2 decades in award winning restaraunts in Chicago, NYC, and A2) and of course, BOOZE! (Their Duck Rueben is out of this world)
• Harmonie Garden Midtown. Middle Eastern Food meets Classic American Brunch!
• Foran's Grand Trunk Pub Downtown. Great meal options throughout the day but their brunch is great (May I recommend their Corktown sandwich or the Lobster Benedict) with a great local beer selection to boot
• Macabees Midtown. endless mimosas, champagne chocolate chip buttermilk pancakes, brisket benedict, and the salmon wrap are all delicious
• Rose's Fine Foods Rivertown. Homesick for mom's cooking? This place has incredible baked goods and delicious sandwiches that make you feel right at home
• Honest Johns Midtown. Good all around menu, drink list and Chicken & Waffles.

Places to drink:

• Great Lakes Coffee Roasting Co. Chill coffee bar with beer, wine and some food.
• Socre Tea A tea shop/cafe in midtown. Tucked away on Garfield and John R. Super quiet and relaxing.
• Park Bar Downtown; Great beer selection, beautiful windows, delicious shwarma and curly fries from the Bucharest Grill next door
• Motor City Wine located in Corktown.
• PJ's Lager House live music, local beer on tap
• Woodbridge Pub
• Detroit Beer Co. Great beer as well as great food. The Hair of the Dog burger is fantastic.
• SugarHouse Carefully crafted cocktails in a hunting lodge sharing a wall with Slow's. Hells yea.
• Cafe D'Mongo's a unique and eclectic "speakeasy." reasonably priced and strong cocktails, live music every night (Fri & Sat only)
• Cliff Bells a solid jazz club right downtown (could be under entertainment as well)
• Dakota Inn Rathskeller a German underground beer hall that transports you straight to Europe, featuring German food, music, and beer. Especially popular during Oktoberfest (mid-September to end of October).
• Jacoby's Biergarten good selection of draft beer, solid German food, and a huge international beer selection
• Astro Coffee a popular cafe in Corktown
• Foran's Grand Trunk Pub great selection of local Michigan beers, with decent food to accompany it
• Old Miami Inexpensive drinks in your uncle's basement. On Cass in southern midtown.
• Zenith Cuban/mexican fusion in new center, in the Fisher Building. Also they have a tiki bar.
• Jolly Ol' Timers North Cass Corridor. If they're open, you won't find a bar full of more interesting people.
• Old Miami Midtown. A Veterans bar, During the summer, the back yard is the best place to drink in the city.

Retail & Shopping:

• City Bird Midtown; Handmade goods from local and regional designers
• John K. King Books Downtown; Largest used bookstore in the state, located in an old glove warehouse
• People's Records Midtown; Internationally renowned treasure trove of rare vinyl, with a focus on Detroit produced stuff
• Hello Records Corktown; Newer record shop with a great collection of new and old vinyl
• Pure Detroit Downtown and New Center; Detroit themed t-shirts, magnets, etc.
• Shinola Flagship Store watches, bikes and leather goods.
• Pewabic Pottery lots of original ceramic art work to view and purchase
• The Hub A Bicycle shop with a charitable bent and affordable bikes.
• Livernois and Outer Drive shopping district off the beaten path

Entertainment & Attractions

• Belle Isle
• Detroit Institute of Arts Free for Wayne, Oakland, and Macomb county residents. Concerts every Friday night in the Rivera Court (probably one of the most fantastic and important pieces of public art in the world). Just for the atmosphere alone it's worth going, and the music is generally great as well.
• Detroit Film Theatre 1,200 seat auditorium located at the DIA, catch a screening.
• Riverwalk a walkable view of Canada and Detroit River
• Casinos we have three! Greektown, MGM Grand and Motor City.
• Motown Museum New Center; Studio tours of the houses, really cool stuff.
• MOCAD Midtown; Contemporary art museum in an amazing raw space, always changing exhibitions and a nice little shop inside.
• Detroit City Football Club amazing soccer team, nationally recognized.
• Detroit Derby Girls at the Masonic Temple
• Garden Bowl/Magic Stick bowling alley, bar and concert venue under one roof.
• Stadiums Ford Field, Comerica Park, Joe Louis Arena
• Theaters Detroit is home to the second largest theater district in the Fillmore, Fox Theater, Masonic Temple, Fisher Theater, Gem, Music Hall, St. Andrews, Detroit Opera House, City Theater, Majestic, Max M. Fisher Music Center
• Detroit People Mover it's not the most useful system for transit, but is actually a good way to see downtown in a quick 20-30 minutes
• Eastern Market one of the largest and oldest open-air farmers markets in the country
• Baker's Keyboard Lounge top-notch jazz club
• Movement Festival worldwide-recognized annual Electronic music festival held every Memorial Day Weekend
• Detroit Jazz Festival largest free jazz festival in the world (self-proclaimed, at least) held every Labor Day Weekend
• Detroit Beer Festival one of four Michigan Brewers Guild annual festivals held the last weekend of October
• Campus Martius highly regarded as one of the best city parks in the country and home to many events throughout the year. Home to Detroit's Christmas tree and an ice-skating rink in the winter.
• Michigan Science Center hands-on exhibits, IMAX Dome, Planetarium, mad scientists with liquid nitrogen and lightning. good for kids, located in Midtown.
• Charles H. Wright Museum of African-American History
• Tuskegee Airmen Museum
• Rouge Park for great outdoor times
• Chandler Park
• Historic Fort Wayne when open
• African Bead Museum
• Outdoor Adventure Center located in the newly restored Globe Trading Building,
• Dakota Inn Rathskeller Oktoberfest Six Mile and Woodward-ish. One of the coolest activities in all of Detroit, somehow unknown even among hardcore Detroiters.

Landmarks

• The Grand Lobbies of Detroit See here: http://imgur.com/a/tqC8i
• The Fist of Joe Louis Woodward/Jefferson Ave
• Fisher Building "the worlds largest art project" and a prime example of Detroit's rich Art Deco history
• Guardian Building another beautiful example of Art Deco architecture
• Ford Piquette Plant historic auto production facility and birthplace of the Model T.
• The Spirit of Detroit Woodward/Jefferson Ave.
• Hart Plaza
• Senator Palmer’s Font Hill Log House and fountain in Palmer Park (when open).
• Son House in Mt. Hazel Cemetary for the music historian.
• Tigers Stadium field located at Trumbull & Michigan Ave. walk the grounds at the former playing field for Detroit Tigers.

Edit #1: Added most of the suggestions from the comments already- but still a lot to get through! If you have descriptions, or tips for any of the places listed or would like to add more, just leave it below
Edit #2: I've been slacking on the updates- but officially replaced the list in the sidebar! Will work on adding everyones in coming days. stay tuned.

Sunday:
NORTH:
·1. Teen shot in the chest near intersection of Lyons Street, Ashland Avenue in Evanston (Chicago Tribune)
·2. While on domestic-battery call, Waukegan police sworn, shot at; three men in custody (CBS 2)
·3. Waukegan Yacht Club celebrates 50th anniversary of Junior Sail Program (Chicago Tribune/Lake County News-Sun)
·4. Woodland Elementary School District 50 foundation to put on golf outing July 22 at Lake Geneva, Wis., to raise funds for schools (Daily Herald)
·5. Diamond Lake Elementary School District 76 providing breakfast for students Monday through Thursday throughout the summer at West Oak Middle School, Gurnee (Daily Herald)
NORTHWEST:
·6. Father, owner of Bartlett-based Sebert Landscaping, and son, field supervisor for Marengo-based Bluestem Ecological Services, team up to bring more native plants to landscaping (ABC 7)
·7. Statue of Donald E. Stephens unveiled in Rosemont (ABC 7)
·8. Online survey drums up 'The Bradley,' ROSY, The Black Pearl, Runaway as possible names for new hotel in Rosemont (Daily Herald)
·9. Mount Prospect promotes senior village planner to assistant to village manager (Daily Herald)
WEST:
·10. Couples celebrating 60th wedding anniversaries serve as grand marshals in Elk Grove Village's annual Hometown Parade on June 18 (Daily Herald)
·11. West Chicago Elementary School District 33 program encourages fathers to read with their children every day (Daily Herald)
·12. Geneva's Swedish Day celebrates Midsummer, Swedish heritage (Daily Herald)
SOUTHWEST:
·13. Republican U.S. Rep. Adam Kinzinger, of Channahon, says he wouldn't vote for Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump, were the election held today (Chicago Sun-Times)
·14. Former Cubs great Andre Dawson gives advice to Joliet Slammers players, signs autographs for fans (Chicago Tribune/Daily Southtown)
SOUTH:
·15. Calumet City bank robbed (Chicago Sun-Times)
NORTHWEST INDIANA:
·16. Family of man living in Hobart group home sues over alleged assault by employee from Chesterton (Chicago Tribune/Gary Post-Tribune)
·17. Chicago woman killed in car crash near Horseshoe Casino in Hammond (Chicago Sun-Times)
·18. Judge dismisses manslaughter charge again LaPorte County man, saying police, prosecutors bungled case of wife's shooting death (Chicago Sun-Times)
REGIONAL
·19. Cook County Jail locked down after hundreds of workers call in sick on Father's Day (NBC 5)
Monday:
NORTH:
·20. McHenry County woman, Mount Prospect truck driver taken to hospital after car-vs-tractor-trailer crash on Route 173 in Newport Township, Lake County (Chicago Sun-Times)
·21. 85-year-old Deerfield woman killed, man and infant injured when woman tried to make a left-hand turn onto 137 from U.S. 45 off ramp into oncoming traffic (Chicago Sun-Times)
·22. Construction begins on 18-store Kildeer Village Square mall on Rand Road; opening expected in 2017 (Daily Herald)
·23. Two armed robberies in Waukegan happen four hours apart on Sunday; police uncertain whether they were related (Chicago Sun-Times)
·24. Chicago restaurateur, partners plan Mediterranean-style restaurant for downtown Libertyville (Daily Herald)
NORTHWEST:
·25. Evanston police probe shooting that wounded three teens (Chicago Tribune/Evanston Review)
·26. Arlington Heights Memorial Library ties together summer reading program, Fan Con comic convention (Daily Herald)
·27. Chicago man wounded in shootout with Palatine police on June 16 charged with attempted murder, aggravated assault, unlawful delivery of cannibis (CBS 2)
·28. SUV driven by minor crashes into front entrance of IHOP at Norridge Commons, sending one person to the hospital, injuring six others (Chicago Tribune/Norridge-Harwood Heights News)
·29. Chicago Aviation Department submits 9-month 'Fly Quiet' plan to FAA; proposal would to rotate takeoffs and landings at O'Hare International Airport, designed to reduce noise issues (WGN TV)
·30. Wheeling Township Elementary School District 25 board member among 1,000 school officials that lobbied Congress on equity in education (Daily Herald)
·31. Streamwood-based Elgin Toyota pitches plan for repaidetail shop along Lake Street in Bartlett (Daily Herald)
WEST:
·32. 4-year-old girl drowns at Downers Grove Swim and Racquet Club; facility closed during investigation (ABC 7)
·33. 48-year-old man dies after car he was riding in during driving lesson flips over into Aurora retention pond; driver still hospitalized (FOX 32)
·34. nursing homes from Naperville, Westmont sue rival company over plans for facilities in Aurora and Lisle (Chicago Tribune)
·35. Oak Park police look into drive-by shooting between vehicles on Sunday night on Austin Boulevard at Interstate 290; driver of a vehicle not targeted suffered minor injuries (Chicago Tribune/Oak Leaves)
·36. 78-year-old man struck, killed in Elmhurst by Metra train on Union Pacific-West line (Chicago Sun-Times)
·37. Lombard fire chief to retire on 30th anniversary of his full-time employment with department (Daily Herald)
·38. Morton Arboretum launches $63 million conservation program to preserve and improve 1,700-acre property (Crain's Chicago Business)
REGIONAL
·39. Pew Research: High school and college students finding less summertime work available (Chicago Tribune/Buffalo Grove Countryside)
Tuesday:
NORTH:
·40. Gas station, car wash pulled from proposed development at Route 22 and Quentin Road in Hawthorn Woods (Daily Herald)
·41. Lake County Sheriff's Gangs Task Force arrest two men after stop in Waukegan; one was wanted on a warrant for a long list of felonies (Chicago Sun-Times)
NORTHWEST:
·42. Woodstock woman who helped fight legal battle with Rohm and Haas chemical company over cancer clusters in McHenry County succumbs to brain cancer (Chicago Tribune)
·43. Metra Union Pacific Northwest Line train strikes pedestrian near Woodstock (Chicago Sun-Times)
·44. Hoffman Estate board hires consultant to look into TIF refund for 185-acre development, provided the developer reimburses the village for the $28,500 cost (Daily Herald)
·45. Superintendent of Schaumburg Township Elementary School District 54 to get 10 percent pay raise, two years after DUI incident (Daily Herald)
·46. Arlington Heights Village Board approves 15-house development on former Robert J. and Lorraine Henry family estate near downtown (Daily Herald)
·47. Elgin Water Department combats musty, moldy smell in water following algae bloom in Fox River (WBBM AM 780)
·48. Officials at Hersey High School in Arlington Heights warn parents about companies offering fee-based financial aid and college scholarships (Chicago Tribune/Arlington Heights Post)
·49. Palatine woman sentenced for five years in prison for DUI-related crash that killed one person and seriously injured another; her BAC level was 0.24 (Chicago Tribune)
·50. 25-year-old Pingree Grove man charged with sexual abuse of a teen (Chicago Sun-Times)
·51. Des Plaines Elementary School District 62 appoints new board member (Daily Herald)
·52. Sleepy Hollow Village Board creates trust fund to address lack of affordable housing stock (Daily Herald)
WEST:
·53. TFC Bank branch in River Forest robbed at gunpoint by three people (Chicago Sun-Times)
·54. St. Charles changes massage-business ordinance to reduce likelihood of more problems with illegal activities in massage parlors, following a number of busts for prostitution (Daily Herald)
·55. Engineers: Expect a lot of noise during construction of pedestrian tunnel along Glen Ellyn's Taylor Avenue (Daily Herald)
·56. Berwyn uses billboard campaign to try to draw young adults to the suburb; target is Chicago's River North population (CBS 2)
·57. Downers Grove village officials concerned about pension obligation and its effects on property taxes (Chicago Tribune)
·58. Bolingbrook restaurant owner urges wider celebration of Juneteenth (Daily Herald)
·59. Illinois Toll Highway Authority approves Lee Street exit off I-90 in Rosemont (Daily Herald)
·60. Naperville man who taught at Wilmington High School pleads guilty to sexual abuse of student, child pornography charge (Daily Herald)
SOUTHWEST:
·61. 17-month-old boy found unresponsive in Homer Glen pool (Chicago Tribune)
SOUTH:
·62. Lincoln-Way High School District 210 removes plaques dedicated to embattled ex-superintendent Lawrence Wyllie (Chicago Tribune/Daily Southtown)
·63. Judge gives Calumet City man to two consecutive life sentences for 2009 double murder during confrontation at bar (Chicago Sun-Times)
NORTHWEST INDIANA:
·64. Diocese of Gary to shut down St. Mark's Catholic Church rather than spend money to renovate 95-year-old building (Chicago Tribune/Gary Post-Tribune)
REGIONAL
·65. Cook County Health and Hospitals executive director: Gun violence 'a public health crisis' (WBBM AM 780)
Wednesday:
NORTH:
·66. Waukegan School District 60 to provide breakfast, lunch to children ages 2 to 18 at five locations (Chicago Tribune/Lake County News-Sun)
·67. North Shore School District 112 delays planned school closures, giving citizens committee time to work out solution to prevent closures (Chicago Tribune/Highland Park News)
·68. Glenview Park District investigating 65-year-old woman's claim that she got hit by a golf ball that sailed through open car window from nearby golf course (Chicago Tribune/Glenview Announcements)
NORTHWEST:
·69. Man tried to lure 12-year-old girl into car near Oakton Street and Western Avenue in Park Ridge (Chicago Sun-Times)
·70. Barrington Area Unit School District 220 plan would shift middle-school boundaries, probably move 160 students from one building to the other; plan is part of potential change in start times (Daily Herald)
·71. Wauconda officials consider reinstalling red-light camera at intersection of Bonner Road, U.S. 12, citing safety concerns (Daily Herald)
·72. Bartlett resident starts group pushing to allow chickens in residential areas of the village (Daily Herald)
WEST:
·73. Elk Grove Village to spend $1 million over next five years replacing trees felled by emerald ash borer (Daily Herald)
·74. Wheaton resident creates online petition to lower Wheaton's citywide speed limit on residential streets to 20 mph in wake of 6-year-old's death after being hit by a van (Daily Herald)
·75. Naperville City Council approves placing two non-binding referendum questions on November ballot which would ask about futures of Naperville Township, road district (Daily Herald)
·76. Proposed Longview Parkway tolls in Kane County expected to be between 50 and 75 cents (Daily Herald)
·77. Two boys report being robbed of iPhone by two teenagers in LaGrange (ABC 7)
·78. Schiller Park woman pleads guilty to aggravated battery to a child for 2015 incident in which she forced her two children to drink apple juice mixed with an antianxolytic medication to try to kill them, then tried to commit suicide (Chicago Tribune)
·79. Oak Brook couple that owned First Mutual Bancorp of Illinois in Harvey indicted on charges of concealing millions of dollars in cash, assets after defaulting on $40 million personal loan (Chicago Tribune/The Doings (Oak Brook))
·80. Aurora man charged in Tuesday-afternoon shooting of two people following argument on city's southeast side (Chicago Sun-Times)
·81. Northlake woman charged with reckless homicide, DUI, driving without insurance in death of 46-year-old man in Melrose Park (Chicago Sun-Times)
·82. Donkey gets party for 50th birthday at Field of Dreams in Maple Park (Daily Herald)
SOUTHWEST:
·83. 23-year-old Yorkville man charged with sexual assault of juvenile at Newark motel (Chicago Sun-Times)
SOUTH:
·84. Clerk at Park Forest gas station shot, wounded during robbery (Chicago Sun-Times)
NORTHWEST INDIANA:
·85. Lake, Porter sheriffs displeased with U.S. Congress's failure to pass any gun-control legislation (Chicago Tribune/Gary Post-Tribune)
·86. Police arrest 20-year-old in connection with drug ring operating at Crown Point High School (Northwest Indiana Times)
·87. Truck with trailing carrying cars overturns on I-80/94 at Indianapolis Boulevard in Hammond (Northwest Indiana Times)
·88. Chicago man found guilty of reckless homicide in crash of Gary church bus in Indianapolis while he was high on cocaine (Northwest Indiana Times)
REGIONAL
·89. Lack of regulations means individual towns can charge whatever they want for liquor licenses and that cost is passed on to the customers (Daily Herald)
·90. Illinois signals intent to move ahead with Chicago-to-Quad-Cities high-speed rail line as deadline for federal funds draws to close (Crain's Chicago Business)
Thursday
NORTH:
·90. Deerfield teen sings duet with her Broadway idol at Chicago Symphony Orchestra performance (Chicago Tribune/Deerfield Review)
·91. Doctors from Highland Park (with office in Buffalo Grove) and Skokie among 301 people caught in federal Medicare-fraud sweep (Chicago Sun-Times)
·92. Ela Township buys 10-acre property for $490,000 with plans for athletic fields just outside Lake Zurich village limits (Daily Herald)
·93. Camp I Am Me lets burn survivors enjoy summer camp, therapy at Camp Duncan near Fox Lake (WGN TV)
·94. Lake County Sheriff's police catch Kenosha man who carjacked a vehicle with a child inside it, after stopping the vehicle on I-294 near Des Plaines (Chicago Tribune/Lake County News-Sun)
·95. Federal Securities and Exchange Commission accuses Lake Forest-based The Ticket Reserve Inc. of Ponzi scheme that defrauded professional athletes out of $30 million (Daily Herald)
·96. Village of Lincolnshire sues Skokie-based North Capital, saying the owner of the former Purple Hotel property hasn't cleaned up the site following demolition a month ago (Crain's Chicago Business)
NORTHWEST:
·97. Woman accused of drug-fueled crash that killed Woodstock nurse is arrested in Las Vegas, Nev. (Chicago Tribune)
·98. Flash floods inundate Arlington Heights businesses, streets during Wednesday night storms (Chicago Tribune/Arlington Heights Post)
·99. Palatine Township Elementary School District 15, park district considering Osage Park property as location for new school, abandon plans for Falcon Park (Daily Herald)
·100. Harper College officials sign off on agreement to build health-and-wellness center with Palatine Park District that would mean indoor pool for residents, students (Daily Herald)
·101. Alan Bombeck, architect and member of Arlington Heights Design Commission since its formation in 1995, dies from cancer (Daily Herald)
WEST:
·102. Guitar virtuoso Fareed Haque to headline Jazz It Up Glen Ellyn festival on July 16 (Daily Herald)
·103. Elk Grove Village mayor 'offended' by 'inappropriate' comments by residents opposed to proposed Islamic prayemeeting center (Daily Herald)
·104. Neighbors of new Naperville Mariano's complain about all the noise caused by refrigerated trucks brought in to store excess commidities (Daily Herald)
·105. Aurora officials: Water safe to drink despite strange taste, odor linked to Fox River (Chicago Tribune/Aurora Beacon-News)
·106. Two teen boys charged with burglarizing vehicles on South 19th Street in St. Charles (Chicago Sun-Times)
·107. Enthusiasts of antique bicycles to have event on July 8 on Prairie Path and in downtown Wheaton (Daily Herald)
SOUTHWEST:
·108. Occupational Safety and Health Administration investigating death of man pulled through machinery at Coilplus Inc. in Plainfield (CBS 2)
·109. Ohio man killed after falling from under-construction asphalt tank at International Tank Services in Willow Springs (Chicago Sun-Times)
SOUTH:
·110. Sunnybrook Elementary School District 171 raises lunch, activity and technology fees (Northwest Indiana Times)
·111. 14-year-old boy shot in back while in a car stopped at Rose Plaza in Matteson; alleged shooter had followed their vehicle on Lincoln Highway (NBC 5)
NORTHWEST INDIANA:
·112. Gary unveils new handicapped-accessible boat/kayak launch at Marquette Park (Northwest Indiana Times)
·113. 'Visions of Sand and Steel: Visions of Our Indiana Shore' show runs through Aug. 28 at Southshore Arts Centre in Munster (Northwest Indiana Times)
·114. Chicago Cubs extend contract with Class-A affiliate South Bend Cubs through 2020 (CBS 2)
·115. 76-year-old Porter woman dies after being struck by train in Chesterton (Chicago Tribune/Gary Post-Tribune)
·116. Dallas, Texas-based Which Wich to open first store in northwest Indiana with sandwich shop in Schererville (Northwest Indiana Times)
REGIONAL
·117. Atlanta, Ga.-based Turnstone Group puts 3,000 residential lots, 581 acres undeveloped land in the suburbs on the market (Crain's Chicago Business)
·118. Author of 'New Suburbanism: Sustainable Tall Building Development': Arlington Heights, Evanston provide models for what Chicago's suburbs should look like (Crain's Chicago Business)
·119. Storms touch off fire in Evanston, topple gas-station canopy in Mount Prospect, flood Taco Bell in Palatine (WGN TV)
Friday
NORTH:
·120. Island Lake trustee creates 'Irises of Island Lake' project to decorate, add color to village (Daily Herald)
·121. Pharmaceutical company Abbvie, volunteers fix up North Chicago buildings to make homes for veterans (WGN TV)
NORTHWEST:
·122. 9-year-old Norridge boy left at Hanover Park water park while on field trip from Norridge camp; parents learned about situation when he called from a lifeguard's cell phone (CBS 2)
·123. Chicago to renovate O'Hare Hilton, add two new hotels, including one along Mannheim Road (ABC 7)
·124. Harvard man charged with sexual abuse of a minor in Antioch (Chicago Tribune/Lake County News-Sun)
·125. Palatine Village Hall to reopen Monday, June 27, following renovations (Daily Herald)
·126. British press blaming meeting at O'Hare pizzeria for BRexit referendum (Chicago Tribune)
·127. One man dead following five-vehicle crash at Dempster Street and Harlem Avenue on Morton Grove/Niles border; victim likely suffered medical issue that led to crash (FOX 32)
·128. Des Plaines Park District works on acquiring vacant lots at Center Street and Oakwood Avenue for new park (Daily Herald)
·129. 17-year-old Kianna Gavin of South Elgin still missing; police still investigating disappearance (Daily Herald)
·130. Teenage Rolling Meadows girl charged with molesting female friend who slept over at her house (Daily Herald)
·131. Bartlett High School to get new stadium scoreboard after receiving grant from Bartlett Rotary Club (Daily Herald)
WEST:
·132. College of DuPage board votes for budget that keeps tuition and property taxes at same level as previous year (Daily Herald)
·133. Elderly Bellwood woman dies from carbon monoxide poisoning, smoke inhalation in house fire (Chicago Sun-Times)
·134. St. Charles Community School District 303 board decides against middle-school referendum this fall, after $12,000 poll shows only 40 percent support (Daily Herald)
SOUTHWEST:
·135. Bolingbrook police end probe into murder-suicide of sometime-business partners from Aurora, Naperville, with no motive behind the crime (Chicago Tribune/Naperville Sun)
SOUTH:
·136. Matteson man with the surname Gambles wins lottery second time with same numbers (WGN TV)
·137. Park Forest nail technician/caterer finds getting bumped from 'MasterChef' leads to many new opportunities in culinary world (Chicago Tribune/Daily Southtown)
·138. Crete man sentenced to four months in jail, 30 months intensive probation for 'revenge porn' incident involving his ex-girlfriend (Chicago Tribune/Daily Southtown)
NORTHWEST INDIANA:
·139. Schererville buys former Illiana Speedway; town president says its racing days are over (Chicago Tribune/Gary Post-Tribune)
·140. Chesterton, Portage, Valparaiso fire departments combine to hire, test firefighter applicants (Northwest Indiana Times)
·141. Munster residents object to Town Council's adoption of wheel tax, but president says state law won't allow the town to make exceptions for anyone (Northwest Indiana Times)
·142. 36-year-old Lake Station grandmother, 17-year-old East Chicago father charged in armed kidnapping of 15-month-old boy from foster home (Chicago Tribune/Gary Post-Tribune)
·143. South Dakota woman with outstanding warrant arrested after being found asleep in the back seat of a stolen car parked behind an abandoned gas station near I-65 and State Route 2 in Hebron (Chicago Sun-Times)
·144. One East Chicago Public Works employee fired in April, another resigned in May as city undertook investigation into alleged thefts of oil, tires (Northwest Indiana Times)
REGIONAL
·145. Illinois Secretary of State's Office rakes in $5 million in late fees for license-plate renewals after it stopped sending out reminders to motorists (Chicago Sun-Times)
Saturday:
NORTH:
·146. Divers find body of teenage boy who swam into harbor channel next to Waukegan Municipal Beach and disappeared under water (CBS 2)
·147. Leaders of Long Grove, Hawthorn Woods ask governor, Illinois State Toll Highway Authority to abandon proposed Route 53 environmental-impact study (Daily Herald)
·148. Island Lake officials have eye on 2-acre site inside Converse Park for village's first dog park (Daily Herald)
·149. Lake Zurich issues proclamation joining National Wildlife Federation's efforts to save the monarch butterfly (Daily Herald)
·150. 10 Round Lake Beach police officers sue village over body cameras that continued to record after they were turned off, including while officers were using the bathroom (WGN TV)
NORTHWEST:
·151. Illinois Attorney General's Office settles ethics-violation/workplace-retaliation lawsuit stemming from incident while U.S. Rep. Tammy Duckworth led the Illinois Department of Veterans Affairs (NBC 5)
·152. Shakou Asian restaurant to open new location on Prospect Avenue in Park Ridge on Monday, June 27 (ABC 7)
·153. Shots reported fired on Route 53 near Jane Addams Tollway (I-90); Illinois State police investigating incident (WGN TV)
·154. Elgin police officers to get 2.5 percent pay increase following relatively short negotiations with the city (Daily Herald)
·155. Woodstock police searching for three men accused of armed robbery of Shell gas station (Daily Herald)
·156. Des Plaines aldermanic committee favors adopting 'City of Destiny' slogan, interlocking 'dP' logo (Daily Herald)
WEST:
·157. McHenry County Sheriff's Office charge Kane County Sheriff's deputy with possession of controlled substances after finding Modafinil, Zolpidem, Tapentadol during search of her Woodstock home (NBC 5)
·158. Downers Grove man accused of raping two Indiana University students gets plea deal, one year of probation (Chicago Tribune)
SOUTH:
·159. South suburbs see large increase in subsidized housing in wake of Chicago Housing Authority's move to demolish high-rise housing projects (Chicago Sun-Times)
NORTHWEST INDIANA:
·160. Munster police seek information on man believed to have stolen cartons of cigarettes from a Speedway gas station at knifepoint twice (Northwest Indiana Times)
·161. Hobart residents concerned about flooding related to proposed development at 83rd Avenue and Grand Boulevard (Northwest Indiana Times)
·162. Marketing company SERA Solutions Inc.'s move to Michigan City a boon for staff, from LaPorte County, helps poise organization for growth (Northwest Indiana Times)
·163. South Haven woman's push for safe passage along McCool Road north of U.S. 6 leads Porter County to install new path along roadway (Northwest Indiana Times)
·164. Hobart firefighters called twice to Southlake Mall for fire in Wet Seal store, Cooper's Hawk Winery & Restaurant (Northwest Indiana Times)
·165. Owner of Hill's Haunted Hospital, City of Portage reach agreement allowing him to move haunted house to former U.S. Steel Training Center near Portage Lakefront and Riverwalk (Northwest Indiana Times)

Sunday:
NORTH:
· 1. Antioch police locate man injured in car crash 12 hours after incident following tip from friend (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 2. Oak Grove School in Green Oaks to open Aug. 19 after 5-year, $14.1 million renovation (Daily Herald)
· 3. Saturday (July 23) storms cause extensive flooding in northern suburbs (WGN TV)
· 4. Winnetka residents want village to resolve problems causing flooding (CBS 2)
· 5. Lightning-sparked fire at Skokie apartment building displaces tenants in two units (CBS 2)
NORTHWEST:
· 6. Windy City Bulls unveil new basketball court, logo at Sears Centre Arena in Hoffman Estates (Daily Herald)
WEST:
· 7. Lisle-based Respite Endowment Organization expanding services to help parents of adults with disabilities (Daily Herald)
SOUTH:
· 8. Sunnybrook School District 171 hires new principal for Heritage Middle School (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 9. Lansing Elementary School District 158 authorizes $200,000 purchase of technology (Northwest Indiana Times)
NORTHWEST INDIANA:
· 9. Porter County Sheriff's Department, production company film dramatized active-shooter situation at Portage High School for instructional video (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 10. Longtime Crown Point tea spot, Tiffany's Tea Room, to reopen in downtown Highland (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 11. Portage Christian School to break ground for 10,700-square-foot addition (Northwest Indiana Times)
REGIONAL
· 12. Golf courses in the area have tried video gaming, with mixed outcomes (Chicago Sun-Times/Better Government Association)
Monday:
NORTH:
· 13. Volo Bog State Natural Area celebrates International Bog Day (Chicago Tribune/Lake County News-Sun)
· 14. Six New Yorkers charged in 'organized criminal enterprise' to defraud Apple store in Deer Park (Chicago Tribune/Lake County News-Sun)
· 15. Buffalo Grove teen killed when driver of the car she was in runs stop sign, gets struck by semi truck in Richmond Township (McHenry County) (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 16. Survivor, A Flock of Seagulls, John Waite to perform Oct. 29, at Waukegan's Genesee Theatre (Daily Herald)
NORTHWEST:
· 17. After her car being struck from behind in Long Grove, driver leaves scene, crashes into four other vehicles in Buffalo Grove (Daily Herald)
· 18. Carpentersville, firefighters union reach agreement on contract running through 2019 (Daily Herald)
· 19. Lombard man sentenced to 4 years in prison, boot camp for stealing $4,000 in cash and merchandise from Schaumburg businesses (Daily Herald)
WEST:
· 20. Two men end up in Des Plaines River after the car they were in crashed through a guard rail on River Road in Schiller Park (Chicago Tribune)
· 21. Oswego woman suffers broken nose in road-rage incident on Aurora's northwest side (Chicago Tribune/Aurora Beacon-News)
· 22. Wheaton man Tasered after creating disturbance during child-custody hearing at DuPage County Courthouse (Daily Herald)
· 23. Carol Stream firefighters, fire district tentatively agree to 3-year contract (Daily Herald)
· 24. Oakbrook Terrace-based Redbox's parent company, Washington-based Outerwall Inc., to merge with New York investment group (Daily Herald)
SOUTHWEST:
· 25. Researchers looking into Zika virus protein makeup at Lemont-based Argonne National Laboratory (WGN TV)
SOUTH:
· 26. New York-based real-estate group buys Homewood's Washington Park Plaza for $32 million, averting loan default (Crain's Chicago Business)
NORTHWEST INDIANA:
· 27. Person shot to death in 2000 block of McKinley Street in Gary (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 28. Northwest Indiana charity makes dream come true for 5-year-old with sickle-cell disease (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 29. Lake County investigates St. John Township Assessor's Office in wake of assessor's resignation who made 'offensive' comments to staff (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 30. Hobart faces refunding $414,000 if tax-assessment appeals by big-box stores are successful (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 31. Aggressive Michigan driver blamed for chain-reaction crash on I-94 near LaPorte that sent four people to the hospital (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 32. Valparaiso woman charged with stealing rabbit from Porter County Fair after tweeting about its 'rescue' (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 33. Valparaiso officials express interest in downtown water feature (Northwest Indiana Times)
Tuesday:
NORTH:
· 34. Man stabbed to death outside Zion gas station (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 35. Evanston man charged with filming underage girl in shower at his home (Chicago Tribune/Evanston Review)
· 36. Community High School District 128 unveils $98.3 million budget, which includes $8 million for new swimming pool at Libertyville High and second gym at Vernon Hills High (Daily Herald)
· 37. Gurnee-based Lake County Children's Advocacy Center breaks ground for new healing garden (Daily Herald)
NORTHWEST:
· 38. Des Plaines Chamber of Commerce director dies from lung cancer at 68 (Daily Herald)
· 39. Orbit Skate Center in Palatine seeks to raise $85,000 to fix wooden roller-rink floor warped by flooding (Daily Herald)
· 40. Barrington Hills native to perform in Cirque du Soleil show 'Toruk' from Aug. 3-7 in Chicago (Daily Herald)
· 41. Stormwater blamed for partial building collapse that has closed Palatine 7-Eleven (Daily Herald)
· 42. Schaumburg toddler with aplastic anemia gets life-saving bone-marrow transplant (NBC 5)
WEST:
· 43. Iowa boy killed, two people injured in rollover crash involving two vehicles on I-88 in North Aurora (FOX 32)
· 44. Glen Ellyn/Lombard wastewater treatment body seeks $16.72 million loan to replace aging, outdated equipment (Daily Herald)
· 45. City of St. Charles, park district, River Corridor Foundation to fund study for recreational uses of Fox River (Daily Herald)
· 46. Geneva City Council establishes TIF district, rejecting Geneva Unit School District 302 board's proposal for tax break (Daily Herald)
· 47. Cicero teen held on $800,000 bond for helping gunman fatally shoot aspiring rapper in Chicago (Chicago Tribune)
· 48. Lombard woman charged with aggravated battery, domestic battery after hitting, critically injuring her boyfriend with a car following an argument (Chicago Tribune)
· 49. Glen Ellyn Park District opts to pay off tax-backed loans rather than refinance them, meaning lower tax rate for property owners (Daily Herald)
SOUTHWEST:
· 50. Man in custody after punching another man in drive-through lane at Oak Lawn restaurant after driver accidentally pulled into exit (Chicago Tribune/Daily Southtown)
· 51. E-commerce giant Amazon to open third Illinois order-fulfillment center in Romeoville (Chicago Tribune)
NORTHWEST INDIANA:
· 52. [One year since developmentally disabled woman, 2-year-old nephew disappeared from Gary](abc7chicago.com/news/disabled-woman-toddler-nephew-missing-from-gary-for-1-yea1442587/) (ABC 7)
· 53. Hammond Redevelopment Commission OKs feasibility study for sports complex at former Woodmar Mall site (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 54. LaPorte landlord fined $14,625 for illegally bringing pesticide not registered for use in Indiana in from China, spraying apartments (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 55. Unemployment rate in Northwest Indiana rises to 6.1 percent in June (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 56. 10 people arrested for scheme using stolen credit card information to post bail at LaPorte County Jail (WBBM AM 780)
· 57. Gary man held in Cook County Jail on rape charges accused of sexual assault of cellmate (FOX 32)
· 58. Man suffers gunshot wound to head in Gary (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 59. Gary police investigate two armed robberies along McKinley Street, near scene of a recent homicide (Northwest Indiana Times)
REGIONAL
· 60. U.S. Attorney's Office indicts 36 Latin Kings gang members in greater Chicago area on racketeering conspiracy and firearms charges (NBC 5)
Wednesday:
NORTH:
· 61. Simon Cowell: Northbrook teen opera singer 'is why we made' 'America's Got Talent' (Chicago Tribune)
· 62. Mundelein sex offender sentenced to 8 years in prison for possession of child porn (Chicago Tribune/Lake County News-Sun)
· 63. Part-time firefighter charged with installing a video-recording device in shower to record another employee at the Northfield Fire Department (Chicago Tribune)
· 64. Students get education and pay in Youth Conservation Corps summer program in Lake County Forest Preserve District (Daily Herald)
· 65. Evanston High School graduate to compete for Nigeria in 2016 Olympic Games (CBS 2)
· 66. Zion cop shoots man who fled traffic stop, crashed into parked car and patrol car (Chicago Tribune/Lake County News-Sun)
· 66. Lawsuit claims staff of Niles senior-living facility allowed harassment of lesbian resident (Chicago Tribune/Niles Herald-Spectator)
NORTHWEST:
· 67. Manager of Schaumburg-based Suburban Home Physicians sentenced to 6 years in jail, $15.6 million in restitution (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 68. Gilberts cancer survivor walks 40 miles in two days, partly for cancer research foundation (Daily Herald)
· 69. Barrington Village Board asks neighbors, developer to come up with compromise over disputed 21-townhouse development (Daily Herald)
· 70. Elgin man sentenced to 10 years in prison for aggravated battery with firearm, drug possession stemming from separate 2015 shooting, traffic stop (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 71. Crystal Lake woman held on $40,000 bond for stealing ex-roommate's PlayStation, pawning it (Daily Herald)
· 72. Coombs Road bridge in Elgin Township reopened after structural repairs completed (Daily Herald)
· 73. Barrington Area Council of Government plans private-well water testing on Oct. 5 (Daily Herald)
· 74. Two firefighters hospitalized after battling blaze at Crystal Lake Central High School (Daily Herald)
WEST:
· 75. Eight-bedroom, 30,214-square-foot Moorish-style Burr Ridge mansion once known as 'Villa Taj' renamed, relisted for $10.25 million (Chicago Tribune)
· 76. Uber driver returns wallet containing $3,000 to Ukrainian immigrant staying with his sister in River Grove (ABC 7)
· 77. Chicago teen arrested in connection with 5 car thefts, 30 vehicle burglaries in Lombard (Chicago Tribune/Naperville Sun)
· 78. Former Quality Inn in Elk Grove Village reopens following renovation as Best Western O'Hare North/Elk Grove (Daily Herald)
· 79. Oak Park native, co-owner of Mars Inc. Forrest Mars Jr. passes away at 84 (Crain's Chicago Business)
SOUTHWEST:
· 80. Rockler Woodworking and Hardware opens in Bolingbrook, its second Illinois location (Daily Herald)
· 81. Orland Park police chief, who took a bullet for President Ronald Reagan, uncertain about wisdom of releasing assassin (CBS 2)
NORTHWEST INDIANA:
· 82. Cyclist struck, killed on Indiana 421 near Purdue North Central campus in Westville (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 83. East Chicago man indicted on drug-trafficking, firearm-possession charges (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 84. Woman, man found stabbed to death in Gary home (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 85. Five correctional officers suspended for 15 days after investigation shows a female inmate was placed with male inmates in medical wing of Lake County Jail (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 86. Bishop Noll Catholic High School hires alumna/teacher as new principal (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 87. Hammond, Hobart council members resign following judge's ruling against city employees also holding elective positions in same town (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 88. St. John resident chosen principal of Chicago's De La Salle Institute (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 89. Gary police get arrest warrant for parents of 3-year-old who died of dehydration, malnutrition on July 5 (FOX 32)
Thursday:
NORTH:
· 90. North Shore communities team up to battle sand drifts along Lake Michigan with help from Illinois Department of Natural Resources (Chicago Tribune/Lake County News-Sun)
· 91. Mundelein ends 53-year ban on ice cream trucks on village streets (Daily Herald)
· 92. U.S. Secretary of Defense promotes new recruitment initiative, talks about transgender-personnel issues at Great Lakes Naval Center in North Chicago (Chicago Tribune/Lake County News-Sun)
· 93. Seventh suspect arrested in credit-card fraud scheme at Deer Park Apple store (Chicago Sun-Times)
NORTHWEST:
· 94. Park Ridge residents react to possibility of Hillary Clinton becoming first female U.S. president (FOX 32)
· 95. Mount Prospect-based River Trails Elementary District 26 considers referendum to pay for new $29 million early-learning center (Daily Herald)
· 96. Streets flooded, trees uprooted in Palatine after afternoon storms (Daily Herald)
WEST:
· 97. Carol Stream Village Board to vote on construction/renovation project that may require moving employees to temporary facility outside Village Hall (Daily Herald)
· 98. Naperville Running Company plans to open store in downtown Wheaton (Daily Herald)
· 99. Actor Harrison Ford takes Westchester teen on flight during Oshkosh, Wis., air show (Chicago Sun-Times)
SOUTHWEST:
· 100. Berwyn woman apparently struck by lightning while walking in Bolingbrook (CBS 2)
· 101. Man in court for DUI hearing now charged with aggravated battery, resisting arrest following fight, attempt to flee from Bridgeview courthouse (Chicago Sun-Times)
SOUTH:
· 102. Homewood man killed in crash on I-80 in Lansing (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 103. Two bison calves born this week at Midewin National Tallgrass Prairie near Wilmington (Chicago Tribune/Daily Southtown)
NORTHWEST INDIANA:
· 104. East Chicago city officials: Residents of West Calumet Housing Complex would be safer elsewhere, away from lead-contaminated soil (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 105. East Chicago police investigate two separate shootings that injured three people (Northwest Indiana Times)
Friday:
NORTH:
· 106. Big Ten Conference finds new ticket vendor after federal fraud charges leveled against Lake Forest-based Forward Market Media (Crain's Chicago Business)
· 107. Highland Park woman charged with leaving 13-month-old child in hot car while shopping in Northbrook (CBS 2)
· 108. Illinois First Appellate Court dismisses Woodlawn Elementary District 50's lawsuit to shutter Grayslake charter school (Daily Herald)
NORTHWEST:
· 109. Buffalo Grove heroin-overdose victim becomes namesake for national law to increase access to opioid-overdose rescue drug (Daily Herald)
· 110. Grand Victoria Casino, WTMX team up to bring Food Truck Fest to Elgin on Friday, Aug. 5 (Daily Herald)
· 111. Schaumburg resident challenges village over treehouse regulations, village's requirement that ash trees be removed (Daily Herald)
· 112. Rolling Meadows residents upset with proposal for former Dominick's property (Daily Herald)
· 113. Prospect High School graduate sues Northwest Suburban High School District 214, alleging he was bullied, harassed and unfairly punished by students, teachers because he's black (Daily Herald)
· 114. Rehab work begins on Lake in the Hills Airport runway, hangars (Daily Herald)
· 115. Elgin woman, sister, friends launch 'upscale club for adults' at former unemployment office location (Daily Herald)
· 116. Gail Borden Public Library opens South Elgin branch (Daily Herald)
WEST:
· 117. St. Charles Community Unit School District 303 projecting $1 million budget surplus for 2016-17 budget year (Daily Herald)
· 118. DuPage Election Commission pulls Constitution Party candidate for County Board District 2 seat from ballot, citing problems with nominating petition (Daily Herald)
· 119. Aurora man given 6-year sentence in jail for selling drugs in parking lot near Aurora park (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 120. St. Charles Community Unit School District 303 begins testing its buildings for lead in water (Daily Herald)
· 121. West Chicago Elementary School District 33 to start mariachi-band program (Daily Herald)
SOUTHWEST:
· 122. Ex-Bolingbrook cop Drew Peterson sentenced to additional 40 years in prison for attempting to hire hitman to kill Will County state's attorney (ABC 7)
SOUTH:
· 123. Beecher-based Settlers Pond one of last places that cares for exotic, domestic animals (Chicago Tribune/Daily Southtown)
NORTHWEST INDIANA:
· 124. Lake County E-911 center director leaves post; deputy director to fill position (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 125. Man shot in lower body outside party near Hammond City Hall (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 126. Merrillville Board of Zoning Appeals sends proposed self-storage facility to Town Council with no recommendation (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 127. Gary police looking for shooting suspect after seizing guns, marijuana and cash from his home (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 128. East Chicago Housing Authority now seeking to demolish apartment complex where lead-contaminated dirt was found (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 129. Lake County Court House Foundation kicking Crown Point city court out of historic building (Northwest Indiana Times)
REGIONAL
· 130. DuPage, Will, Grundy counties issue warrants for arrest of Joliet contractor, wanted for fraud, theft (ABC 7)
· 131. Denver cable startup Layer3 TV to roll out service throughout Chicago area by Labor Day (Chicago Tribune)
· 132. West, southwest suburbs, northwest Indiana see heavy rains, some localized flooding from Friday storms (NBC 5)
Saturday:
NORTH:
· 133. Highland Park begins 'pay as you throw' garbage collection where trash receptacles are scanned, no more garbage stickers needed (Daily Herald)
· 134. Philippine fast-food chain Jollibee opens first Midwest store in Skokie (NBC 5)
NORTHWEST:
· 135. Big Timber Road, McLean Boulevard in Elgin closed because of large fire (Daily Herald)
· 136. Butera Market scheduled to open in Des Plaines in January, but owners couldn't work out lease deal to keep Caputo & Sons open until then (Daily Herald)
WEST:
· 137. Glen Ellyn police seek man who groped a female pedestrian on a walking path near Hill Avenue (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 138. Man wearing surgical mask, cowboy hat robs TCF Bank branch in Glendale Heights (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 139. Armed robber wearing Darth Vader mask robs First American Bank in Geneva (Chicago Tribune/Aurora Beacon-News)
· 140. Downers Grove Village Commissioner, College of DuPage Trustee David Olsen chosen to replace State Rep. Ronald Sandack, who resigned over 'Internet scam' (Chicago Sun-Times)
SOUTHWEST:
· 141. Tinley Park police search cornfield near village after arresting three people for call about attempted fraud at Sam's Club (Chicago Tribune/Daily Southtown)
· 142. Remains of Marine killed in Pacific during World War II buried in Blue Island (Chicago Sun-Times)
SOUTH:
· 143. Homewood-Flossmoor High School District 223 won't explain principal's firing, but records show past conflicts with superintendent (Chicago Tribune/Daily Southtown)
· 144. Lansing police hope to build bridges with community through National Night Out on Tuesday, Aug. 2 (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 145. South Holland still cleaning up after being hit hard in latest round of storms (WGN TV)
NORTHWEST INDIANA:
· 146. ArcelorMittal retirees hit by increased out-of-pocket payments for health care, prescriptions (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 147. BP to invest $12.5 million in new firefighting building at Hammond facility (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 148. Lake Station expecting 2017 budget to be $700,000 less than current fiscal year's (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 149. Portage buys, plans to demolish city's original fire station (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 150. Demolition of Crown Point Public Works building uncovers old underground tank (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 151. Twincade bar to bring blend of classic arcade games, craft beer to Griffith (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 152. Valparaiso native Jared Arambula named to U.S. Paralympic basketball team (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 153. Locked In brings escape game to real life in Crown Point (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 154. Hammond Board of Sanitary Commissioners preparing plan to combat sewer overflows from affecting residents' basements (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 155. Owner of Highland dog-grooming service upset that town won't let her locate to former hardware store, a site slated for arts-related business (Northwest Indiana Times)