Fallsview Casino Hotel | Sheraton Four Points Niagara

Yesterday, I made a post about the Revenge cast in Action, so now it’s time for the Pahkitew cast in World Tour, with Sierra and Alejandro joining them. To get one thing out of the way, Sierra and Alejandro are here because without them, the cast would be to small. Also, they joined as newbies in World Tour, and here, everyone is a newbie, so Sierra and Alejandro are gen 3 in this universe. Anyway, let’s get started.
Episode 1: Chris introduces the new cast, and also the new gimmick, singing. Reactions were mixed about this, Sierra, Topher and Ella thought it was a great idea, Jasmine, Dave, and Max were just annoyed, and others were just indifferent. The first challenge was located in Egypt, where they could choose to climb over, or go through a Pyramid. Nobody quits because there isn’t enough people. At the end, Chris announced that there were three teams this season, and he was to lazy to make names, so the contestants had to do it. The teams were dubbed...
The Dastardly Evil Masterminds: Shawn, Topher, Max, Jasmine, Sky, and Scarlett.
The Marvelous Magicians: Dave, Leonard, Beardo, Alejandro, and Sierra.
The Midwestern Actresses: Sugar, Amy, Sammy, Ella, and Rodney.
Song: Come Fly With Us
Episode 2: The episode began after the teams were formed, they each got prizes for a camel race. The Actresses won a camel, the Magicians won a goat, and the Masterminds were stuck with a stick. Suddenly, they all had to run away from a swarm of bugs, and make it to the Nile River while doing it. The teams had to weave a basket big enough to support the weight of the team members, and their prize. Sierra was really good with a weave, while the masterminds, having a lot of smart people, were good too. The Actresses were a lost cause, having there boat being completely awful, but thankfully for them.
17th, Max: He has a new invention that could turn animals evil. He used it on a Crocodile, thinking it would attack the other team, but it went crazy, destroying all the boats, and the Masterminds were the team that came last. He was shocked to be voted off, and clinger onto the plane when he was tossed out, and climbed into the cargo hold.
Song: Running Time
Episode 3: Chris said the next challenge would be in Japan, Scarlett started complaining that the outfit was actually Chinese, so chef cut the door open, which we sucked all the teams out the door, falling to the ground. Luckily, they landed in a big bowl of rice, and Alejandro complimented on her smarts, but she didn’t fall for his charms. The challenge was to make a commercial for Chef’s new food. Scarlett has a basic understanding of commercials, and Topher was a good actor, it came as a shock to nobody when they won first class. Leonard was annoying Dave with his LARPing, and Alejandro took this as an opportunity to mess with him. He told Leonard that his skills with leading parties and such could make him a great team leader, he accepted this challenge, and took it upon himself to lead the team. He did horribly, and the Magicians were going to lose, until...
16th, Sugar: A certain redhead stole the footage for the Actresses commercial, and corrupted it, they had the worst commercial, and Amy blamed the loss on Sugar. Leonard was celebrating the victory, but Dave intimidated him, saying that if it wasn’t for the corruption, he would be gone, and he should quit LARPing.
Song: Before We Die
Episode 4: The Juno Jet landed in the freezing winters of the Yukon, teams had to jump across ice flows to pull a sled to victory. Jasmine pulled the sled for the Masterminds, Dave also tries attracting Sky, which she’s flattered by. Beardo also becomes more social, and Ella and Sammy form a friendship. Leonard has to pull his sled, and didn’t try to use magic, he still came last, but the Actresses are missing a member.
15th, Rodney: His tongue was stuck to a pole, and the Actresses couldn’t find him. He tried to say he was tricked, but was pushed out. Scarlett stood behind a pillar smirking, revealing that she was the one who did this.
Song: Country Love
Episode 5: The challenge took place in New York, they had to climb the Statue of Liberty to get a baby carriage, Amy was excited to sing in New York, but Ella was a bit more focused on her bullying. Alejandro also started playing Sierra, telling her to talk about embarrassing things Chris did, which got him mad. Topher also lost a bit of respect he had for him. The challenge was also the first reward challenge, and nobody was sent home.
Song: What’s Not To Love?
Episode 6: The first aftermath. Like last time, the couples of last season were the host every episode. This episode was with Lightning and Anne Maria as hosts, both being stupid, they weren’t very good. Also, there was a new segment called total Drama fugitives, where an eliminated contestants was missing, that contestant being Max.
Peanut Gallery: Whiskers, Keith, Jose, Chef (Topher’s cat)
Interviews: Sugar, and Rodney.
Song: Cap-try Style
Episode 7: Contestants were dropped into a massive pile of snow, where they had to be quiet and sing. Alejandro started telling Amy to “Seize the day” which she knew exactly what that meant. Scarlett took notice of this. The seconded part of the challenge was to shove meat into a meat grinder, which disgusted Dave. Speaking of Dave, him and Beardo has become good friends at this point, though he still hated Leonard, even though he was becoming a somewhat normal person. The final part of the challenge was a German Slap-off, which Jasmine dominated in, being much stronger than everyone else.
Xth, Amy: Scarlett started taunting her on the platform, which she go annoyed by, and threw her and herself off the platform. She beat her up so bad she nocked a tooth out. She cost the team the challenge, and Sammy and Ella celebrated having such a menace gone. Alejandro started talking to Scarlett about what she did, but she said she knows that he’s evil.
Song: German Slap-off!
Episode 8: The teams were dropped off at the Amazon, and Chris said that he had a special announcement. The Actresses were going to merge with the other teams, Sammy was going on the Masterminds, while Ella was going to the Magicians. Jasmine started leading the team around the jungle, and was impressed when Shawn knew a lot about forests, forming a quick friendship. Leonard tried to lead the team, but ended up getting them captured by the Zing Zings. Luckily, Beardo managed to scare them off with his sound effects, but they were at a massive disadvantage. The Masterminds won, and Leonard was going to be voted off, but it was announced to be a reward challenge.
Song: It’s All Your Fault!
Episode 9: Paris, the place of art, and love. Leonard was upset that Dave was so mean to him, and Beardo wanted him to apologize. Alejandro defended him though, saying he could think what he wants, if he was going to dig his own grave, so be it. Sammy and Topher started to fall for each other, and Shawn started falling for Jasmine after realizing how wicked cool she was. The Masterminds found there prices really fast, and to ensure such a victory...
14th, Leonard: Scarlett pushes down the Magician’s statue and blamed it on Leonard, he tried to defend himself, but Dave has already made up his mind, and was glad to be gone of such an annoyance.
Song: Oui, My Friends
Episode 10: Why did they land in the middle of the ocean? To have the next challenge of course! Contestants had to race boats to the eastern shore. Alejandro and Scarlett rivalry was starting to get really high, and Alejandro was trying to play Ella, while Dave was trying to impress Sky, and Beardo was encouraging him. The seconded part was a challenge where they had to do very odd tasks. The last part was kissing a cod. Beardo told Dave to imagine he was kissing Sky, and he forgot all about how gross it was, while Shawn did the same thing, but for Jasmine. Jasmine has also taken notice off Sammy’s crush on Topher, and was trying to get them together. In honor of Chris being in his homeland, he made it a reward challenge, and nobody was sent home.
Song: Sea Shanty
Episode 11: The Jumbo Jet has crashed in the deserts of Jamaica, and one contestant had been very injured. The show had to go on though, and a challenge had begun. Contestants had to dive off a cliff into waters filled with sharks. Alejandro ended up grabbing the gold, but Scarlett stole it. The seconded part was to skateboard through a very dangerous obstacle course. The Masterminds has more physically dominate players, but the Magicians just edged it out.
13th/12th, Dave and Sky: Dave was the contestant injured by the Jumbo Jet, and had to be removed from the game. Sky and Beardo were very upset about this, but Alejandro worked his Magic to get Sky distracted, and lose the challenge.
Song: Watch The Fang!
Episode 12: The seconded aftermath. Despite not being a couple, Brick and Jo were instructed by the network to host the aftermath, as their fighting would real in money. Why did they need money? To repair the Jumbo Jet, the aftermath hosted a telethon to gain funds for the season again. There was many things going on, like Sky, Dave and Keith Drama, why Leonard LARPs, Amy joining the fugitives party, and how Jo singing in a dress in hilarious.
Song: Save This Show
Interviews: Leonard, Sky, and Dave.
Episode 13: Alejandro suddenly went missing, which Chris pretended didn’t happen. The teams were dropped off in London, and had to an advanced version of the psycho killer challenge. The teams had to solve riddles to find out were Jack the Ripper was hiding, while the Ripper was hunting them down. Jasmine and Shawn formed an amazing team together, while Beardo, Ella, and Sierra were becoming the next team E-scope. In the end, Jasmine and Shawn caught the real killer, while diet team E-scope caught a fraud. That fraud was actually Amy, which the others were shocked by, sense she was here, Chris said she could rejoin the game in staid if Max. When questioned about Max, Chris reveled who the Ripper really was, a feral Max, who had turned green and was losing hair. He was tossed back out, but he clung onto the wing again.
11th, Sammy: Scarlett told Amy that she was going to be voted out. Amy started panicking and begged her for a solution, Scarlett said she would give one as long as she joined in on her alliance. She agreed, and Scarlett suggested a switch. She disguised herself as Sammy, and Sammy tried to warn them, but was pushed out before she could say anything.
Song: Strip Them Down
Episode 14: The teens were going to compete in some Olympic event, and they almost landed in the wrong place, but was fixed thanks to Scarlett, Jasmine, and Alejandro. It came down to the tiebreaker, and Alejandro noticed something odd with Shawn, and riled him to tell everyone what he knows. He said that he saw Topher and Amy kiss, and apparently, Topher has no idea Sammy was gone, but Jasmine was too made to listen, and told Topher that she was going to beat him like a kangaroo. At the elimination ceremony, Topher was going to be eliminated, but Chris didn’t want to eliminate him with all the drama going on, so he got to play another day.
Song: Greek Trickery
Episode 15: In one of the most dangerous challenges yet, the teens had to raid area51, and steal an alien artifact. Jasmine started comforting Shawn when he started freaking out about conspiracy theories, and Topher tried his hardest to win, knowing he was going to be eliminated. Ella’s singing and Beardo’s beatboxing were enough to distract the aliens, however...
10th, Sierra: She stepped on a mine while running with the artifact, and it gets destroyed. Alejandro suggests voting her off to put her out of her misery, and Beardo and Ella don’t want to do it, but they had to.
Song: Cheating Boyfriend
Episode 16: Jasmine was excited to visit her home town Australia. Shawn took it upon himself to try impressing her about being good with the challenge. While the other team was good with animals, Jasmine absolutely crushed them, and they had to send someone packing.
9th, Beardo: Scarlett thew a dingo at him, which made him dizzy. When it came to voting, Ella voted for Alejandro, Alejandro votes for Beardo, and Beardo was so dizzy he accidentally voted for himself.
Song: Native Rock
Episode 17: The third ice challenge of the season. The two teams had to build a boat, and battle Viking style, the first ship to sink would lose. Topher was starting to get more saddened by Sammy leaving, while Shawn, a sort-of-friend of Topher’s, tried helping him out. In the end, The Magicians finally won a challenge, with Alejandro carrying them, as Ella was completely against violence. It was completely pointless anyway, as it was a reward challenge, and many have speculated that the challenge was just filler.
Song: We Built Sam’s Face
Episode 18: One of the most important aftermaths. Mike and Zoey hosted this time, and they put on a game show in which an eliminated contestant, or member of the Peanut Gallery would join the game.
Song: His Real Name Isn’t Beardo
Winner: Jose
Interviews: Sammy, Sierra, and Beardo.
Episode 19: The contestants were woken up falling into Niagara Falls, they had to rapidly save themselves. Topher got the adrenaline to save them after Amy said that if they lived, she would admit that Samey is better than her. Chris took the survivors to a casino, Amy was excited to gamble, but was disappointed to find themselves on a show stage. Chris announced that a new contestant would be joining the game, and Alejandro paled when he found out it was his brother Jose. Everyone was charmed by his looks, even the guys. Chris then said that they were gonna have some arranged marriages, and the guys were put into a slot machine, and the girls would have to gamble to see who they would get. The pairs were: Shawn and Jasmine, Alejandro and Scarlett, Topher and Amy, and Jose and Ella. The grooms had to guide their wives threw an optical course to get a dress, everyone succeeded. The grooms then had to carry their wife across a tight rope to get to America. Alejandro took the time to confront Scarlett about the eliminations she caused, while Scarlett counters with the eliminations he caused, they end up fighting, and falling off. Jose also stole Ella’s heart. While Topher and Amy fought a lot. In the end, Shawn and Jasmine has the most chemistry, and won. Shawn also asked Jasmine out, and she accepted, they were now a couple.
Winners: Shawn and Jasmine
8th, Amy: Topher pretty much begged the others to help him vote out Amy, being a jerk, they accepted to voting her out. She gave a warning about Scarlett before leaving though.
Song: Spainerific
Episode 20: Scarlett knew she was in trouble, so Alejandro tried to form an alliance with him. She refused, saying she could do things on her own. Jose has started to blackmail Alejandro though, and made him help with the challenge. However, they both failed in the eating challenge, and even though her stomach wasn’t that good, Scarlett managed to beat Shawn in the eating challenge.
Winner: Scarlett
7th/6th, Jose and Ella: Alejandro ended up being the one to crawl to Scarlett, and asked her to help him vote out Jose, Scarlett agreed, as long as he was her slave for the rest of the game. Shawn votes for Jose because he was getting jealous of him attracting Jasmine, Jasmine, Topher, and Jose voted for Ella do to being annoying, and Ella voted for Jasmine because Jose told her to. The producers were breathing down Chris’s neck, so he kicked them both out of the plane to save costs.
Song: Chinese Lesson
Episode 21: The contestants were taken to the scorching hot deserts of Africa, were they had to hunt down a completely Feral Max. Scarlett has Alejandro helping her, but her stood up for himself and cursed at her in Spanish. Shawn and Jasmine excelled in this challenge, but Shawn let her have the win. After everything he went through, Max still didn’t learn, and crawled back onto the plane.
Winner: Jasmine
5th, Topher: Scarlett talked to Shawn and Jasmine, and told them that Topher had to go, saying that him and Alejandro would team up and take them down if she was gone, they didn’t want to vote out there friend, but Scarlett’s words were just to convincing. Jasmine later beat herself up over it for falling for her schemes.
Song: Wake Up
Episode 22: The not really campers were dropped off at Easter Island, and had to do an egg hunt. There were statues of the eliminated contestants around, and when Alejandro questioned it, Chris pretty much told him to shut up. When everyone had gathered their eggs, they had to deliver it back to the mother Condor. Shawn won because it was as easy as climbing trees.
Winner: Shawn
Song: Condor
Episode 23: The final four landed in drumheller, they had to find bones to make a dinosaur. In the end, Shawn’s weird poop Dino won. Later, they had to retrieve buried cans of oil. Again, Shawn won, and Scarlett and Alejandro teamed up to take out Jasmine.
Winner: Shawn
4th, Shawn: Scarlett was going to be eliminated, but Shawn stopped the ceremony with a cake to celebrate him and Jasmine’s one weak anniversary. Unfortunately for him, they candles created a bunch of sparks, and fell into the oil puddle below him. It caused an explosion, which blew up the Jumbo Jet, in a fit of rage, Chris disqualified him from the game.
Song: This Is How We Will End It
Episode 24: The final aftermath. This time, it was set in a different location, Hawaii. Sam and Dakota were the hosts, and had a competition to see who would get an advantage in the finale. Sammy was representing for Jasmine, Jose for Alejandro, and Amy for Scarlett. In the end, Jasmine won a baby carriage, Alejondro won a wealbaroal, Scarlett got squat.
Interviews: Amy, Ella, Jose, and Topher.
Songs: Who Ya Gonna Root For?, and Hawaiian style.
Episode 25: The episode opened up with the aftermath of the explosion. Chris declares that the next challenge was immediately starting. Scarlett came at Alejandro, saying he was a traitor for voting her off, but Alejandro didn’t care. Shawn helped Jasmine get to the finish, and Scarlett created a monster from the remains of the Jumbo Jet. At the end, Alejandro won a spot in the finale, but Jasmine and Scarlett tied.
Winner: Alejandro
Song: I’m Gonna Make It
Episode 26: The episode was live, and Alejandro got to pick the tiebreaker, on who got to be with him. The challenge was a duel, and Jasmine was confident in her win, but Scarlett went crazy, and threw Jasmine into the water, getting her into the final challenge.
3rd, Jasmine: She lost the tiebreaker.
The two finalists got helpers to preform the challenge, Scarlett chose Amy and Jose, while Alejandro chose Shawn and Jasmine. The two races up the volcano, and Alejandro was going to win, when Scarlett started playing dumb. She said she liked him, but actually kicked him in the kiwis, and sent him flying down the mountain. She said that she never liked him anyway, and that he was an idiot for believing the facade. Before a prize could be given to the winner, Max came up from behind, stole the case, and fell into the volcano. It erupted, and the teens had to run for their lives, and Chris ended off the season.
Winner: You chose.
Song: Versus
Anyway, you may have noticed that some of this was similar to World Tour, but the Pahkitew cast doesn’t have much depth to them, shocker, I know. If there is anything you would change, please let me know, as any advice if greatly appreciated, and whose ending do you prefer?

Ranking The Seasons

So I’ve seen the Office 5 times all the way through, you know your average Office fan, and I think I’ve watched enough to rank all the seasons. Buckle up cause this is a long list. Sorry if my thoughts are all over the place here. Lemme know your rankings down below cause I’m curious.
9 Season 1
Ah yes the dreaded season 1. I know a lot of people like season 1, I do too. But season 1 is the reason a lot of my friends started and then very quickly stopped watching The Office. There’s literally memes about trying to convince you friends The Office gets better past season 1. The main reason this season is last is cause it’s not really The Office yet. It’s cringey, like the other seasons, but in the other seasons there’s heartwarming moments that at the end of the day no matter what the characters have done you still like them. Like Michael. Michael is just an idiot jerk in this season. Plus the hair. I can’t get over the hair. What even happened to Steve Carell’s hair in between seasons lol. Plus the episodes themselves aren’t great either, with the exceptions of Diversity Day and Basketball. But still enjoyable TV.
8 Season 8
So many people hate season 8. And for a reason. It’s definitely nowhere near peak Office. I think season 8 is just a smidge better than season 1. It benefits from already established characters and f it, Robert California was great. The writing just isn’t that good in this season though. Obviously they were still figuring out life without Michael. But Andy wasn’t the best manager, the believability factor was down, it wasn’t as funny, and there were some really bad moments. Poor Andy. Look at how they massacred my boy. I don’t hate Nellie like everyone else cause she redeemed herself in season 9, but I hate her here. There are some really good episodes though, I loved the Florida episodes, and the middle of the season with Trivia, Christmas Party, etc. was a high point. And my favorite episode from season 8, Pool Party. It’s like Dinner Party 2.0 but replace Michael and Jan with Robert.
7 Season 9
Season 9 was a lot better than season 8 imo. Clark was a nice addition, and they absolutely nailed the last few episodes. Who can watch the finale and not get emotional? There was a great Christmas episode with Dwight Christmas, but then again when are Christmas episodes not great? And am I the only one that loves Here Comes Treble? That episodes a guilty pleasure for me. And there’s Work Bus. That episode is hilarious. I don’t really mind the whole Jam-Pam marriage problem thing. To me it made it more realistic and interesting. Another thing I loved about this season is Dwight and Jim’s relationship evolving, and Dwight and Pam‘s friendship is sweet. Dwight and Angela is also an underrated relationship. Really shows you how much Dwight was carrying the show in a way. But this season isn’t without its negatives. There are a lot. They continue to butcher Andy’s character and make him a loser. Ruining Andy and then setting Erin up with Pete who’s basically a rip off Jim with little to no character (sorry it’s true) might have been my least favorite part of the entire show. I mean they saved Andy’s character a little bit near the end, but cmon. Plus there are some weak season 8 feeling episodes in here. To me this season is the most up and down of the series. But its definitely more enjoyable than season 8.
6 Season 6
Season 6 is a weird one because I honestly loved the first half of the season. Once we reach The Banker everything goes downhill. I like the first half maybe more than most people. For as unbelievable as Mafia was I thought that was hilarious, and when Michael had to go to the shareholder meeting that was priceless. Plus there’s classic episodes like Niagara, Secret Santa, Murder, and the dreaded Scott’s Tots (which I’ve only skipped twice suck on that). Michael dating Pam’s mom was a little weird but not a bad storyline. The second half of the season felt like they were running out of ideas. Well they had ideas, they just weren’t great. Sabre could have been done a little bit better, the Michael-Donna storyline wasn’t all that great, and St. Patrick’s Day and New Leads are kind of boring. Gabe and Jo are nice additions to the show though. Luckily things pick up in season 7.
5 Season 5
This is the last season where they were riding the wave of greatness from the insane run that was seasons 2-5. Idk how they managed to keep it so consistent and so funny for so long. At 28 episodes, season 5 does feel like it has some filler, particularly near the beginning. I wonder if it’s so long to make up for the writer’s strike in season 4. There’s not too much going on besides stuff with Michael and Holly. Things start to pick up in the middle of the season with some solid cringey episodes like The Duel and Prince Paper. Not to mention one of the best episodes of the series in Stress Relief. Then we go on a little Michael love quest with Lecture Circuit and Blood Drive. But the saving grace of this season comes near the end, with the Michael Scott Paper Company episodes. Whoever came up with that idea is a genius. The Michael-Pam-Ryan dynamic is so fun to see. And they end it off in a great way with Broke. Idris Elba was a dislikable character and really not that interesting though. But that’s ok cause he really didn’t have to be. He was set up as kind of an antagonist. Also I love how they show how good of a boss, despite his flaws, Michael really is. His methods somehow work. He creates a fun work environment that people love working in. Yes, they do love working there everyone says so in the finale. Then to close off the season we get Cafe Disco and Company Picnic which are both amazing. You really start to root for Michael and Holly. Overall a very solid season.
4 Season 7
Yes, I love season 7. I think it’s super underrated, so what sue me. No don’t sue me that’s the opposite of the point I was trying to make - Michael. I don’t just love season 7 for the Michael and Holly stuff. Even though it’s great. I think there’s tons of underrated episodes near the beginning like Counseling, The Sting, Christening, Viewing Party, WUPHF, I love all of those. Also Andy’s Play is one of my favorite episodes. Then there’s Classy Christmas which in my opinion is the best Christmas episode. Threat Level Midnight, Michael’s Last Dundies, I could go on. Even without Michael, they manage to end off season 7 really well. And it was fun to finally see Dwight as acting manager, it was exactly how you might think it would be. Plus Michael leaving was simultaneously heartbreaking and heartwarming. The show was pretty much doomed when he left. The only reason this season isn’t as good as season 2 is because the Jim-Pam dynamic isn’t there.
3 Season 2
Season 2 at 3? Yes. That’s not cause it’s not amazing, it’s just how good the other seasons are. This season is what people think of when you mention The Office. Jim and Pam, We’re still discovering that Michael isn’t a horrible boss, Jim pranking Dwight. All classic stuff. Plus it’s super funny. The injury is one of the funniest Office episodes. I can’t tell you how hard I laughed when Michael put down “taking someone to the hospital” on the fill out sheet. There isn’t really an episode that falls below an 8 out of 10. Plus it’s cool to see everyone evolve and really get into character. The best episodes of this season are when something major happens with Jim and Pam like Booze Cruise or Casino Night. Such a great cliffhanger in Casino Night. The show starts to go from decent to great with The Dundies, Office Olympics, and The Fire. The Client is also great. All around super solid.
2 Season 3
Season 3 takes everything from season 2 and makes it better. More solid episodes, it’s more consistent, it’s funnier, it’s more creative. The only complaint I have with season 2 is Jim and Pam’s friendship isn’t really there cause of the transfer, but whatever. The whole different branches dynamic is great and makes the episodes more interesting. Also we get to see Andy before he became the Andy we know throughout most of the show. Karen was a cool character but she was really just a tool to cause friction between Jim and Pam and keep them apart for longer. That’s a big thing in this season is using suspense and tension. Beach Games and The Job are an excellent finale. I could list all the episodes and how much I like them but we’d be here all day. Amazing season.
1 Season 4
And finally the best season and my favorite episodes of TV ever, season 4. The main reason why I think season 4 is the best is cause it’s so consistent. From the beginning with Fun Run, to Night Out, most of the episodes are 10/10. And that stretch of episodes also has Dinner Party, the best episode in the series. A lot of people don’t like season 4 as much as 2 or 3 because they put Jim and Pam together, but to me this season shows how good this show can be even without the tension between Jim and Pam. Plus it’s nice to finally see them dating. Ryan being the boss makes for some incredible moments. That was a great pick for that job by the writers. Michael and Jan’s dysfunctional relationship is gold. We see it bending throughout until it finally snaps in Dinner Party. The 40 minute episodes were a good change of pace and made for a great start to the season. You could point out so many memorable moments. Michael drives his car into an fing lake, they do a 5k for a disease that’s already been cured, Jim and Pam stay at Dwight’s farm overnight. And that’s just in the first four episodes. The only two episodes that I didn’t love came at the end of the season, Did I Stutter and Job Fair. Did I Stutter has some great moments, I just don’t think it lives up to the other episodes. Job Fair is pretty good but there’s kind of a lackluster B plot in the golfing trip and a pretty funny plot with Michael, Oscar, Pam, Daryl, whoever was at the job fair. But it picks back up with a great final episode in Goodbye Toby. This is the episode where Holly is introduced and it’s executed perfectly. It would have been cool to see more episodes in this season but I’m not complaining cause we only got good stuff with the 14 episodes we got. Plus the long episodes kind of made up for it. Let me know your list!

Idea: next iOS update should focus on bettering and expanding existing features, call it an “enhancement update” if you will...

Let me just say I am loving the generations and fame additions. Next up though I feel we should have an update that just focuses on the features already in the game and making them better. Some suggestions for such... bear with me, this is a fairly long list:
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1. 👨🏻‍🦱 - I’d love for the ability to select a custom character’s race, and their starting stats (looks, smarts, etc) as well. Also, I’d love to select which country they appear in, cause it’s weird to have a friend named “Bob” pop up in China.
2. 🌎 - We should have the ability to adopt children from nations other than the one you’re living in, or have someone who immigrated from a foreign country periodically pop up as a date option.
3. 🏠 - The ability to rent out houses, as well as to rent rather than buy houses of your own — also, I’d love for the following house type to be added: greenhouse (an environmentally friendly house with lots of glass and solar panels).
4. 🛥 - More assets beyond houses and cars, like the ability to buy a phone, yacht, or private plane. Also the ability to use vehicle assets, like click on a car and “take it for a spin,” or go on vacation with a private plane.
5. 🎰 - New casino mini games, such as roulette and a slot machine.
6. 🎥 - More movie genre options, like horror 👻, fantasy 🏰, or adult 😏. Also, the option to buy concessions, like have “go see movie with concessions” and “w/o” options, picking the latter option adds 4% to happiness, but drains bank account and possibly health.
7. 🏜 - Idea for vacations: alongside being able to travel to cities, have also the option to travel to landmarks, like Grand Canyon, Niagara Falls, Mount Everest, Great Wall of China, and more.
8. ⛓ - The ability to contact family members while in prison by phone, perhaps up to a max of four or five per year, just so your relationship bars with them don’t just dwindle till your release. Also be able to have visits if you’ve had “good behavior.”
9. 🐠 - I’m quite satisfied with pet options especially with the last update, though there are two I’d still love added: platypuses and blue tang fish (yes I want my own Perry and Dory).
10. ☠️ - I’d love if in the cemetery, gravestones from the same family lineage were grouped together as one slot in the list, like as the “Johnson Legacy” for example.
11. ✈️ - If you immigrate to a different country, you should have the option to fly back for any funerals of family members. Also, if you go on vacation to the city you emigrated from, the relationship bars of any family members still there should go up.
12. 🏙 - The ability to move to a different city within the same country, and also have a chance for your parents to move you around during your childhood (many kids don’t stay in one place, after all😉).
13. 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 - More family interactions. “Play a Game♟” for example which would have the chance to raise the relationship bar, or lower it if the game gets heated. Also, for your lover exclusively, the option to “send a suggestive pic📱” with the chance they’ll either respond well or poorly to it.
14. ⛪️ - Parents’ religiousness should have a bigger impact on childhood. The possibility a super religious parent would disapprove of your lover for example, or that they may try to set you up with one. They could also argue with you if you have a teen pregnancy.
15. 👥 - The chance of having more than one older sibling upon starting a new life. The chance of having quads when having children (slim, but a chance), and the very slim chance to be born as part of a set of triplets or quads.
16. 👩🏻‍🦰 - More character icon looks. The chance of having straight 👨 or curly 👨‍🦱 hair. The chance of being born as a redhead 👨‍🦰, which would vary by country. Also, in Muslim countries, women characters should use the hijab 🧕 emoji.
17. 🧘‍♂️ - More mind + body options.
• To raise smarts, options like “complete a puzzle 🧩” or “read a nonfiction book 📒”
• To raise happiness and health, options like “go golfing 🏌️” or “read a novel 📚”
• To raise looks, options like “go for a jog 🏃‍♂️” or “take a shower 🧖‍♂️”
18. 🤰 - If abortion is illegal in the country you’re in, you should still be able to try and get one, with two options: “Safe abortion,” which would have chance of arrest, or “unsafe abortion,” which wouldn’t have chance of arrest, but chance of injury or death. Also, men shouldn’t be able to force women to have abortions.
19. 👨‍👦 - If you continue on as your child after you die, and your child is retired, it should show their occupation as retired, not unemployed, and their prior occupation should appear on their gravestone when they die.
20. 💴 - More diversity with currency symbols. Countries like Japan and China, which use the Yen and Yuan respectively, should use the “¥” symbol.
21. 🏥 - Healthcare should be free at point of service in countries with universal healthcare systems, like the U.K., Canada, or Sweden. Also, there should be a chance that a child of yours gets sick in their childhood, especially if you don’t vaccinate, and you have to take them to a doctor.
22. 🎫 - Sometimes you get pop ups involving concerts, but there should also be an option in activities to go to one. Similar to vacations, it would have a drop down menu of artists to choose from, as well as option to choose class of seats, and how many people to take with you.
23. 🐶 - A new interaction with pets should be the ability to “train them,” which would make their smarts go up every so often.
24. 🌙 - A dark mode for those of us who play at night. Seen this idea pop up elsewhere, so figured I’d reiterate it.
25. 📜 - More options with the will, like the ability to leave it to grandkids and the ability to select who to pass on houses, cars or pets to plus have them passed on separate from your bank balance, like have one kid get the house and another get the bank money.
26. 😇 - Show the Karma bar in stats, and add options like “give to charity” into the game as a means to raise it. Also, and this is an entirely new idea, I think it’d be cool if your level of karma at death affects your stats in your next life. :)
27. 🇺🇳 - New countries! Ideas for such: Iceland, Poland, Switzerland, Lithuania, Thailand, Mongolia, Pakistan, Nepal, Madagascar, Morocco, D.R. of the Congo, and Fiji. (My personal top three desires are Thailand, Mongolia, and D.R. of the Congo).
28. 🇺🇸 - I’ve seen a lot of “Sweet Home Alabama” types on the BitLife page, so I propose a new city for the United States: Montgomery, Alabama. Also, I’d love for Honolulu, Anchorage, New Orleans, and Salt Lake City to be added.
29. 🏀 - More stuff with sports.
• Sometimes you see things like “you took X to a football game” for example, so that should be an option in activities. You’d have different sports to choose, like genres of movies, such as football, baseball, soccer, or cricket. Also, the option to take family members with you.
• Secondly, now that we have fame, we should definitely have a professional sports career added into jobs, as well as a sports degree added to university (that would be so fitting with the new option to buy kids into university).
30. ⚫️ - More job options! I’ve already made a list of this (here: Jobs Ideas but to highlight a few:
• 🍭 - Candy Store Worker
• ♥️ - Cardiologist
• 🎞 - Film Maker
• ⛏/⚱️ - Miner (Coal/Gold)
• Also, the pro sports career which I listed earlier.
31. 👺 - More crime options!
• Kidnapping (👶) as one. It would make a child appear in your relationships section (similar to cars in assets with stealing cars), they’d start out at 0 with their relationship bar, and you’d have the option to choose how to interact with them. Obviously, each year (until they turn 18) you’d have chance of being arrested, or being arrested right off the bat.
• Hire a Hitman (🔫) as an alternative to murdering someone yourself. You’d have several choices for hire, and the more money you pay, the better the odds of success and (more importantly) not getting caught.
• Embezzlement (👔) - steal something from your place of work and then sell it to make money. Your place of work would determine what’s up for grabs, like if you’re a pharmacist for example, you could sell drugs.
• Robbery Options - have option to select what type of building to rob alongside a house. Add in the option to rob a bank or store.
32. 🎀 - New ribbons!!
• Gold Digger (⚱️) - marry only wealthy partners, make at least $10M from divorce settlements or their inheritances.
• Debtor (🤐) - take out loans whenever given the option, such as for university, when buying a house and car, etc. Die with a negative net worth of at least -$1M.
• Foolhardy (🍀) - win a lottery prize of at least $1M before age 40, squander it all on extravagant purchases, die before age 80 with a negative net worth and depression.
• R Rated (👠) - become a pornographer, get famous, only ever do nude related things in “fame” section of activities, go clubbing a lot, always hook up whenever given the chance, get happy ending for massages whenever given chance too. In general, be a dirty person.
• Darwinist (🦁) - have at least ten instances of a pet eating another pet during your lifetime, and always reward the pet whenever they do it.
• Father and Son (👨‍👦) - live a life as a male and continue as your son after you die. Live that son’s life in a very similar manner. Get the same occupation, the same type of house, get married if your father was married, etc.
—
That is all, but yes, in general an update that focuses on enhancing and expanding existing features as opposed to one that adds a whole new concept I think should be next in line. There’s just so much that could be done :) comment your thoughts and ideas below👇

Niagara Ice Wine

Angela was the coolest supervisor I’ve ever had. At the time, we were working at a little advertising startup called Digital Marketing Technologies, or just DMT. She was a graphic designer and I was hired out of College to manage Google ad accounts. But to Brad, none of that mattered.

Brad was the owner and only salesman of our little startup. A balding, late thirties wannabe celebrity, he envisioned himself as the next Gary Vee. So much so that he regarded his LinkedIn self promotional videos as more important than his clients. He was a good salesman, but he had nothing even remotely approaching anything resembling knowledge on how to effectively run a business.

Case in point, almost all of the staff who wasn’t strictly video, were designated as ‘graphic designers’ whether or not they actually were one. That was the bucket I currently fell in.

Brad had tossed me into that position after jerking me around his company as an intern for the better part of a year, and treating me like absolute garbage.
At first, I took it with a smile, figuring that’s just how it was. While I was working under Angela though, she made it abundantly clear just how fucked up Brad actually was.

Being a young white man, with little experience, I didn’t see the rampant sexism, barely subdued racism and ethically dubious business practices that defined Brad. He hid it well for the most part under his fantastical razzle dazzle of technobabble and pompous self importance. He paraded around like a rock star, hosting $10,000 seminars in Toronto that no one came to, and uploading what he considered to be nuggets of marketing genius, most which were barely more than drunken ramblings. He was a sham and Angela saw right through him, and she made sure he didn’t try and fuck over his own employees.

Brad’s startup was already circling the drain. His VP, Craig had quit in a rage about a month ago, followed by his assistant Janice. With the structure of his upper management compromised, he’d made the crucial mistake of bringing in Jake.
Jake was Brad’s biggest fan. A mechanic by trade, who sold juice for a multi level marketing scheme on the side, his ‘job application’ had been an overlong fan letter that Janice had shared with us just before she left.

While Brad didn’t openly call him Craig’s replacement, that was basically what he was.I would have felt bad for him. An inexperienced Yes Man getting put into a role he couldn’t possibly fill. Maybe I could have even related, but Jake had one fundamental flaw.

He was every bit the asshole that Brad was, and something of a creep to boot. He stared at people too long, smiled too wide and acted so condescendingly friendly. He’d ask the stupidest questions in a tone that implied that YOU were the idiot who didn’t know what was going on, not the other way around. Like Brad, he fancied himself a Marketing guru. He even had his own website that was essentially a blank screen with a link to his merch store. Yes, he had a merch store. No, no one ever bought anything off of it. His one redeeming quality was that he was about as dumb as a box of rocks, and it was almost pathetically easy to slip stealth insults into casual conversation with him.

So, to put a lid on it all, DMT was already a rapidly sinking dumpster fire of a company, with more problems than I have time to list. Being the ‘genius’ that he was however, Brad had a fix.
Since the holidays were coming around, and I’m pretty sure it was impossible not to notice that his modest staff all hated him, Brad elected to throw the Christmas party early, and he wanted to pull out all the stops.
He booked everyone individual hotel rooms in Niagara Falls for a Thursday-Friday night of partying. To Brad, that meant enough alcohol to kill most living things and gambling away that years profits.
The idea was not a popular one… But, most of us stuck it out, hoping that maybe, just maybe it wouldn’t suck.

It did.

Angela and I had driven down together, and suffered through the disappointment together. I wouldn’t call that Thursday night much of a Christmas party, as much as a disorganized bender. We all watched Brad knock back drink after drink, getting louder and more obnoxious.
Given that it was a Thursday in November, very little was open late, and the evening barely lasted until around 10 before Brad decided it was time to hit the casinos!
I bowed out at that point. Gambling never interested me, and I had absolutely zero interest in watching Brad get hammered and waste more money that he probably didn’t have. He didn’t take that so well.
“Come on, Greg!” he slurred, just outside the Fallsview Casino. “Okay, I’ll tell you what. I’ll stake you. If you win, it’s yours man!”
“No thanks, it wouldn’t feel right to gamble with your money.” I said.

“Okay well… Okay… What about a years payroll, right?” He looked around at the others with us. I saw Angela’s brow crinkle in disgust.

“Let’s just pool it, and see where we get?!”
No one took him up on that offer, and he waved it off, enthusiastically going to feed another of his many addictions.

According to Angela when I talked to her the next morning, it had gone about as well as expected. Brad hadn’t gone broke, but he had needed Jake to carry him back to his hotel room. Angela herself had left shortly after I did and only got that information from one of the other ‘Graphic Designers’ Leanne.
As soon as we had the chance to leave, Angela and I were in my car and headed back to Hamilton.

“You know, you’d think he would’ve taken the hint that none of us wanted to go, but he did it, and then he wonders why no one had a good time. It’s Niagara Falls at midnight on a Thursday. Of course nothing was open!” Angela said as we drove.
“Well, least we got free food.” I said, it was just about the biggest and only positive aspect of the event.
Angela scoffed.
“Yeah… Funny how he ran out on the bill and made Jake pay.”
I hadn’t noticed that, but I still believed it.
She looked down at her phone, checking a game she was playing on it, before pausing.
“Oh shoot, hey, do you mind if we make a quick stop?”
“Not at all, why what’s up?”
“I figure we’re in wine country, right? I wanted to pick up some ice wine for my Mom, I didn’t really get the chance while we were in town.”
“I don’t really see why not.” I said, “Google it, lemme know if there’s a place nearby.”
She did, and sure enough there was a place a few exits ahead.
“Looks like the only one open today…” She murmured, “Greystone Winerys.”
She scrolled through their website for a bit, as the GPS told me where to go in a soothing British accent.

The exit led me to a narrow backroad. On either side of us, all I could see was empty farmland and sparsely populated trees. No sign of anything resembling a winery.
“How much further?” I asked, and she checked her phone.
“Says about fifteen minutes… I dunno, it’s acting up.”
I scanned the horizon for any indication of a driveway or something. But the road was just a straight unbroken line through empty lifeless land. The only sign of civilization was the phone lines on the side of the road.
“Up ahead!” Angela said, just when I thought I saw something past a patch of trees.
The turn she indicated led us to a worn out, empty parking lot. A skeletal gazebo sat in the middle of it, amongst patches of snow.
The building in front of that gazebo was old and looked almost Victorian. Behind it, I could see what a vineyard that looked strangely empty.
“This is the place.” Angela said, as I parked my car. I couldn’t help but admire that creepy parking lot. I snapped a photo of it, before following her to the building where she was trying the door.
“Locked.” She said, and frowned, “Maybe they aren’t open then.”
She checked her phone again, since there were no listed hours.
“Google probably just lists their summer hours.” I said, “This place has to be abandoned right now.”
“Yeah… Maybe I’ll stop off at a liquor store or something then. They might have some there.”
Angela seemed to shrug it off, and we headed back to the car after our very brief little adventure.

We were barely halfway there when I saw a familiar bright orange Corvette round the corner into the parking lot.
I actually felt disappointment upon seeing it.
The Corvette sped into a parking spot right beside my SUV, and Brad got out wearing the biggest grin on his face.
“Hey! What are you guys doing here!”
Jake got out of the passenger seat, as Brad approached us. Angela looked like she had to fight to keep from rolling her eyes and groaning in disappointment.
“Keeping the party going, huh, Champ?” Brad asked playfully, and punched me on the shoulder a little too hard.
“No… We were just stopping to-”
“Hey, we were gonna do a wine tasting! C’mon! Join us, it’ll be fun!”
That was the worst idea I had ever heard in my life, and I hated Brad even more for saying it.
“I really don’t feel like it.” I said, and Jake helpfully chimed in with;
“A bit of wine won’t kill you y’know, have some fun! It’ll be good for morale!”
He wore the sort of smile I imagine must have physically hurt to maintain. I also felt my eyes drawn to his shirt, which naturally came from his merch store, the one that no one on the planet knew existed except for him.

Shiitake Happens

Real original.

Brad was already pounding on the door of the winery as if the people who weren’t inside owed him money.
“HEY! COME ON! WE’RE HERE FOR A WINE TASTING!” He yelled. Amazingly, no one answered! Who’d have guessed?
“They’re closed.” Angela said, “We already tried.”
“But Google says they’re open!” Jake chirped.
“And no one’s here, so they’re closed.” Angela replied. Jake didn’t take the hint.
“But Google says-” He started to repeat, but he was thankfully cut off by a gruff voice behind us.
“We’re closed.”
A man had come around the side of the building. He looked gruff and wore wading overalls.
“Finally…” Brad murmured under his breath, “We’re here for a wine tasting!”
“Those are in the summer.” The man replied, “We’re closed for the season.”
“But you have wine, right?” Brad asked. The man frowned.
“We do… But we’re closed.”
“Well, obviously not entirely or you wouldn’t be here.” Brad said, and took out his wallet, “Look. We’re here for a wine tasting. For four…”
I started to protest, but Jake had to cut me off, to avenge the stupid sentence he didn’t get to finish earlier.
Angela sighed in exasperation.
“Yes sir, four please!”
Brad took a handful of bills I didn’t think he actually had, and offered them to the man.
“Come on, it’s fine!” He assured the man.
The Man just stared at him. He looked at Brad, then at Jake, then finally at Angela and I. He took the money and jammed it into one of his pockets.
“Come on then… I suppose I can arrange something since you came all this way. Lemme just call Mr. Greystone.”
He marched off towards the back of the building, fumbling with his cell phone and Brad followed him.

“I told you it was open!” Jake said smugly, as if Brad hadn’t just begged and bribed the man to give us a wine tasting.
Angela and I stayed put for a moment.
“Fuck it, let’s just go.” She said. Me, misconstruing that, took a weary step forward to follow. She hesitated for a moment, before going after me. She didn’t bother correcting herself.
The man led us to a long barn out behind the vineyard. Going through the empty grapevines felt a little unsettling, and as we headed out towards the barn, I heard the man and Brad talking.
“So, where abouts are you folks from?” He asked.
“Well, I’m from Texas originally, but I settled down here. Jake, you’re from… What, Oshawa? Hey Greg! What’s that town you live in again? Brantford? Our office is in Vaughan and this guy commutes from Brantford, can you believe that?”
I didn’t answer, even though he got it right. Angela trailed behind us, being ignored by Brad, but I could tell she was furious to be caught up in this.
“He’s supposed to be meeting with a client.” She said, once Jake and Brad were far enough ahead of us, “That’s where he said he was going this morning. Did you smell the booze on him?”
I hadn’t, but it wasn’t hard to guess that Brad was drunk.

“This is why he keeps losing business.” She said. We’d had conversations like this countless times before. I knew Angela had even brought it up with Brad, and he’d laughed it off.
The Man opened the barn door, letting us inside.
“I assume you’d like the tour first.” He said coolly.
“Hell yes we want the tour!” Brad said and immediately stepped inside, followed by the rest of us.
The Man followed us in, and closed the door behind us. As soon as he did, we heard another man speak.
“So, you’re the ones Archie found out front?”The speaker was a younger man in similar wading overalls. He had a full beard and sparkling blue eyes. His handshake was firm.
“I’m Isaac Greystone, I own the place. Archie tells me you were looking for a tour?”
“That and a tasting!” Brad said, and hastily introduced myself and Jake. He didn’t even bother introducing Angela.
“Well then, it’s a pleasure to meet you all. You just came at a really exciting time. We’re not open to the public right now, but I figure since you’re offering to pay for it, I might as well show you around, right?”
“Damn right.” Brad said, “A man after my own heart.”
Isaac tipped a thousand watt smile that almost rivaled Jakes.
“Well, let’s get started… I suppose you know how ice wine is made, right? How we freeze the grapes, and press them to make sure our wine is concentrated. It takes a little longer to ferment, but the final product is so, so worth it.”

He led us deeper into the barn. Massive machinery worked on the frozen grapes around us, and it was almost too loud to hear him speak clearly as he walked Brad and Jake through the process. I barely paid any attention, hoping we could just get this over with as soon as possible and looking for the earliest opportunity to make an excuse to leave.
“We just finished our harvest this year!” Isaac said, “So the wine we’re making now is going to keep us stocked for the next year or so. It’s not going to be ready quite yet, but we’ve still got some samples!”
“Well bring them out then!” Brad said, “Let’s taste these bad boys!”
Isaacs grin never faded, and he led us to a side room.
“I think you’re gonna love this.” He said, “We have a bit of a special fermenting technique, I can’t say too much about it right now. Trade secret and all, but it gives our wine just the right amount of body and personality. It’s why Greystone is one of the top selling ice wines in the world. We even have some exclusive labels, that we make special for some of our particularly discriminating clients…”

Isaac went behind a small bar, and fetched a couple of bottles of the ice wines from a fridge beneath it. He set out four glasses.

“So you do special blends?” Brad asked, and traded an approving look with Jake.“See that, that is branding. That’s what having a brand is all about!”
Jake nodded enthusiastically in approval.
“It’s amazing branding.”
I was pretty sure that had very little to do with branding.
“I’ve got some samples of those right here.” Isaac said, as if he hadn’t heard a word they were saying. He held up a bottle with the Greystone logo, and a stylized wolfs head on the label.
“This we manufacture for one of our best private companies. You ever heard of the Tallinn Corporation?”
“No, I don’t think I have, who are they?” Brad asked.
“Our best customers, that’s who. They’re Estonian, but they love us. Here. Try a glass…”
He filled all four glasses, and Brad immediately snatched one up. I saw Isaac set a bucket on the counter for us to spit the wine into after tasting it. I’d never been to a wine tasting before in my life, but even I knew you weren’t supposed to actually drink it.

Brad drank it. He drank it all in one big embarassing gulp. Isaac looked at him with a bit of surprise, as if he hadn’t quite expected that.
“Oh Jesus, that’s brisk!” Brad said, “Here, lemme have some more of that…”
Jake, for all his flaws, had the decency to drink the wine slowly. Angela didn’t drink at all. He did not however, have the decency to not make weirdly sexual moans as he enjoyed the drink. I hated it when he did that.
“Greg, try that!” Brad said, as Isaac filled up another glass for him. I took a sip. Never in my life had I ever had ice wine before, but it was delicious. Easily one of the sweetest things I’d ever tasted!
I spit it into the bucket.

“What? You don’t like it?” Brad asked.
“No, it’s delicious!” I said, “I just thought…”
“Well, here’s a toast then!” Brad raised his second glass, “Hey, Angela! Come on! Don’t be a spoilsport.”
Angela just glared at him, as if to ask ‘Do you know what the fuck you’re even doing right now?’ She set her glass down.
“No thanks.”
“Alright… Fine, whatever.” Brad said, shrugging it off. He tossed back the glass, and Jake attempted to do the same. I just took another sip and swallowed it. I guessed it would’ve been a shame to let it go to waste.
“That’s got kick…” Brad murmured. I watched as Angela headed towards the door.
“I think I’m just gonna wait by the car.” She said, and I understood that she wanted to get out of there. I did too.
“Greg, have some more!” Brad urged me. Angela was waiting by the door, before sighing and stepping out. I didn’t, and set my glass down.
“I think I’m good, actually. Angela’s got an appointment and we should get going.”
“Oh boo!” Brad said, “You can be a bit late, come on!”
“We’re already late.” Angela said, “Thanks for everything, Brad. Really. See you on Monday.”
She left abruptly and I followed.

“Who the hell does he even think he is?” She growled as she stormed towards the exit to the barn.
“Seriously, blowing off his meetings to go and get drunk? What an idiot!”
I tried to keep up with her, but was starting to feel a little woozy.
“Yeah, he’s a prick.” I murmured. Angela stopped in her tracks and looked back at me.
“Hey, you alright?”
“I think so.” I said. I could see the door to the barn, and the man who’d led us in, Archie, still standing out front of it.
“How strong was that wine?” I asked.

“It’s wine. There’s no way you’re drunk!”
I took another few steps forwards before my legs gave out from under me and I hit the ground. Angela was on top of my immediately.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Greg, Greg, are you alright?”
My vision was going hazy, and the last thing I remember was seeing Archie coming up behind Angela and raising something over his head.

I woke up to someone shaking me.

“Greg! Wake up, Goddamn you!”
I recognized the voice was Angela’s, and slowly as I came to, I could see her standing over me.

“Finally… I was beginning to think you weren’t waking up.”

“I’m awake…” I murmured, “What happened?”

“You passed out and someone hit me.” Angela replied, “We’re in deep shit, Greg… Look!”
My vision was groggy at first, but as I slowly pieced together my surroundings, I began to feel a creeping fear seep into my gut.
We were in a cell, and outside of those bars, was a sight I wish I’d never seen.

The machinery around us looked similar to what I’d seen before, but this was a completely different part of the factory. This looked more like a butcher shop.

I could see bodies, human bodies suspended from the ceiling. Their throats had all been cut, and I watched the blood dripping into one of six swimming pool sized mixing vats full of ice wine beneath them, and I suddenly felt sick. That was what I’d been drinking with Brad and Jake…
Just above the surface of the wine in each vat, a large propeller spun slowly, making sure that horrible concoction of blood and wine was evenly mixed.
I patted my pockets. No sign of my wallet, keys or cell phone. Of course they’d taken those.

“Angela? Greg?”Jake sounded like he was in the next cell over, and I’d never heard him so terrified in my life.

“What the hell happened!” I asked.

“I don’t know! We were drinking the wine, and then Brad was on the floor and… Jesus Christ, did they drug us?”
That was the most logical explanation, wasn’t it?

“Let’s just shut up, and figure a way out of here!” Angela said, “Jake, Brad’s in there with you, right?”

“No! They took him! I don’t know where! Jesus Christ, we need to get out of here! D-do you see the vat?”
Angela didn’t reply, but we’d all seen it, and we all knew that.
She reached up towards her hair, taking out a hairpin. Something that whoever had emptied our pockets had missed.
“I might be able to get this lock…” She murmured, and immediately set to work on it.

“Are you picking it? Come on, come on, come on…” Jake groaned, “Hurryyyyy.”
Angela worked diligently, before pausing suddenly, and putting her tools into her pockets. I heard the voices down the hall too.

“We’ll get them processed today and have this whole thing taken care of. Later on I’ll call our usual guy to get the cars... ”
I recognized the voice as Isaacs, and heard his footsteps getting closer.

“Ah, you’re awake!” He said. It sounded like he’d stopped in front of Jake’s cell.

“What the hell do you want from us?!” I heard Jake say, “You can’t just keep us here! Where’s Brad!?”

“Well, like I said you’ve come at an interesting time…” Isaac replied. His tone was even and calm. “Usually, we buy our secret ingredient from the Tallinn Corporation. They deal in that sort of thing mostly. People go missing in the old Soviet Union all the time and no one cares. So we don’t really hurt anyone and we get a better tasting product! But, we do care a lot about quality and we’d like to keep all our ingredients locally sourced, if you catch my meaning.”

“W-what the hell…?” It sounded like Jake was crying and Isaac chuckled.

“You’ll see soon enough… Shock him, let’s get him processed.”

I heard Jake scream as he was tased, and the sound of the cell door opening.
Archie and another worker carried Jake past our cell. As they passed, Isaac stepped into our view.

“Hey there.” He said smoothly, “I understand if you’re not excited to be in this position… I got the feeling you two didn’t really want to get dragged into this.”

“No shit!” Angela snapped, “Where are you taking him?”

“To become part of the Greystone legacy.” Isaac teased, and looked up towards the bodies hanging above the mixing vats.
“It’s a slow process, but quality takes time… Anyways, I wanted to say, before you get angry, that I am sorry you got dragged into this.”
He smiled, and walked away from us, following the others.

Angela was silent for a bit, listening to his footsteps fade. When she was sure he was gone, she got the hair clip out of her pocket, and worked on the lock with renewed vigor. It didn’t take long until we heard the click of the lock, but Angela didn’t open it. It didn’t take me long to see why.

Archie, his associate and Jake came into view again, this time on a catwalk above the nearest mixing vat.
Jake was still unconscious, which made it easy to bind his ankles and place a hanging hook through the rope.
“W-what…” Jake’s voice was faint and echoed from the distance, but he was starting to come to. He let out a startled yelp as the hook yanked him up just like the other bodies.
“Wait, WAIT, WAITWAITWA-”
He didn’t get to finish his pleasing. Archie pulled a knife from his overalls, and opened his throat. Jake squirmed and choked out his death rattle, blood pouring over his face and dripping into the vat below.
Shiitake happens.

The other worker took a long pole, and used it to push Jake out towards the other bodies, right over the center of the mixing vat.
We watched as they prodded the others, before choosing a few to pull towards them and take down.
As soon as they were gone, she opened the door to our cell.
“We’re leaving.” She said curtly. I didn’t argue. For a moment, I thought about Brad, but Jake had said they’d already taken him. He was probably dead, and I could have cared less!

Neither of us knew which way to go, but we opted for the way that Archie and the other worker hadn’t taken Jake. That way led to a hall that seemed impossibly long, and on either side were massive chilled vats of Ice Wine.
I tried not to think about just how many people had died to fill these… But the thought still came.How many people around the world were unknowingly drinking human blood in their wine? How many people did it knowingly?

Down the hall, I heard a voice, and paused.I ducked into the narrow space between one of the vats, and I saw Angela doing the same across from me.

“50% in under three months, now that is unprecedented growth, but it’s doable! I’ve done it. Not everyone can, but if you’ve got the product, you’ve got the brand, and you’ve got the know how, it’s already done!”
That was Brad’s voice!
I had to peek out from behind my vat, and I saw him and Isaac passing through the hall in front of us, side by side like old friends.
“It’s a bold claim.” Isaac said. I wasn’t sure if he was impressed or not, “But you sound like you can back it up.”

“Dude, if you just let me show you my numbers, gimme a phone, something. I won’t try anything! But I’m telling you, you’re making the right call. Those other guys? Fuck ‘em. They’re disposable, I mean, hell. I was honestly looking for a chance to get rid of Angela anyways. But me, I’m the one you wanna keep. I get it, this whole operation here, it’s about adding value to your brand. What you’re doing gives the wine it's signature flavor, and it’s honestly kinda hardcore! I dig that! But you and I both know, that I can give you more value right here, like this, then I would in a bottle of wine.”
Isaac and his workers were going to slaughter us for wine, and Brad was trying to fucking sell them on his service?
I sincerely hoped someone would show up to drag Brad off to the same fate Jake had met, but I didn’t get that wish.

“Well, if you’re half of what you claim… Maybe you’d be worth it.” Isaac said thoughtfully. He idly played with his beard. “Let’s say I kept you around, huh? I’m gonna need to make sure you don’t try anything. I’ll give you what you need to work. Just work. Nothing else. You let me down, and you’re going in with the next batch.”

“Hey, that’s A-okay with me! I just want the chance!” Brad said, grinning from ear to ear, “Trust me. You and me are gonna do some amazing shit.”
Isaac nodded slowly, and from my vantage point, I could see the rage on Angela’s face, but she stayed still.
“HEY! CELL’S EMPTY!”
Archie’s voice cut through the hall, and both Brad and Isaac looked up suddenly.
“They’re out. Find them.” He said, “They can’t be far!”
Isaac was coming towards us again, with Brad trailing behind him. I heard Archie coming up from the opposite direction, and I realized that sooner or later, one of them was going to see us. I think Angela knew it too.
She moved suddenly, running for her life, and I did the same, but I wasn’t as fast.
She slipped past Brad easily enough, but I didn’t get past Isaac.

He grabbed me, and I felt Archie grabbing me too. Both of them wrestled me to the ground, and the last thing I remember was a terrible jolt of electricity before everything went black.

I woke up in the hall. I don’t know how long later. Archie and another worker had me draped over their shoulders, and dragged me slowly. Ahead of me, I saw Isaac.
“Shock him again.” Isaac said. I hadn’t even given any indicator that I was awake, but Archie didn’t waste any time. I didn’t pass out this time, but I wasn’t in any condition to fight.
“I know you probably think this is barbaric.” Isaac said, still not looking at me, “It’s… well, an old family tradition. One gets desensitized to it. But as heinous as this all must seem, I need you to understand that this really does make it a superior product! The blood sweetens the wine, and the corpses do wonders for the vineyard. Every year, we have a bountiful harvest. It’s because of this that we’re the best, and if your friend Brad delivers on his promise, we might even be the biggest.”
Up ahead, I saw the hanging bodies… But now they were much closer to eye level.
“I wouldn’t take it personally.” Isaac said, and stopped, letting us pass him.
“Make it quick for this one!” He ordered, “Suffering taints the wine.”
With that, I heard him walking away.
We were at one of the vats, and Archie shocked me one last time. I felt his associate starting to tie my legs together. Archie pulled the knife from his overalls.
“It’s never personal, kid.” He said gruffly. I looked at the knife, my heart racing as I waited for what was coming.
Then I heard the worker behind me scream, along with a dull thud. Archie looked up, and I caught a glimpse of Angela behind us. She was holding a shovel, and swung it ruthlessly at Archie’s head. It bounced off his shoulder and he grunted in pain.
I didn’t have much time to react, but by God I made the most of it!

I grabbed him by the wrist, and jerked his arm towards me, then I sank my teeth into the skin. His grip on the knife loosened, and I tore it out of his hands.
Archie kicked out blindly at Angela when she tried to hit him with the shovel again. He uselessly slapped at me to try and keep me away from him, but I had the knife now, and I put it in his throat.
It was very personal.

Archie twitched, eyes looking up at me in surprise, but as the blood trickled out of his throat, his body went limp.
I was panting heavily, and looked over at Angela. The worker she’d hit lay on the ground, unconscious or dead. I didn’t care which.
“Are you alright?” She asked, and I absentmindedly nodded, before backing away from Archie’s body.
“I just killed this guy…”
“Yeah. I guess you did…” Angela replied, “Take the knife, we need to go and…” She swallowed, “We might need it.”
I didn’t want to touch that knife. I didn’t even want to look at Archie. I wanted to scream and cry and lose my shit, but I did what she said. It came out easier than I expected.
Angela started down the hall again, and I followed, still a little shell shocked from committing a murder!
“After I split off from you, I found what I’m pretty sure was Isaacs office.” Angela said, “Here, we needed these.”
I saw her reaching into her pocket for my car keys and wallet.
“Our phones were missing. Probably broken.”
“Shit… We can’t call for help then?”

“Which is why we need to focus on getting the hell out of here.” Angela replied,
We moved silently. For the time being, there was no sign of any other employees, but we didn’t want to risk it. We both knew there was more than Archie and his associate lurking around.

In a few moments, we’d made it back to the lower level of the mixer room.
“I think the door to the main factory is down that way.” Angela said, “We just need to find it, and-”
A gunshot cut her off. She ducked, and looked around for the source. I saw it before she did, and pulled her towards one of the vats. We ducked beneath it to avoid another shot.
“Found you!” Brad cried, “Ah shit… I guess you picked up Greg too, huh?”
He held the gun professionally as he crept towards the vat we cowered behind.

“Well, I’ve got enough ammo to do you both. I hope you know it’s nothing personal! But it’s honestly just me or you, and even with the… well, unusual recipe, this is still a big client! Do you have any idea what this is gonna do for DMT? Isaac gets me, man!”
He was drawing nearer, but even when he had us cornered, Brad was still an idiot. The second he got close to our hiding spot, I was ready. He came into view slowly, and I lunged at him when he did, catching him off guard.

The knife went into his shoulder, and I caught the gun across my face. Angela was on him next, tearing at the knife and trying to rip it out of him. Brad struggled against her, and frantically brought the butt of his gun down on her head, over and over again.
He shoved Angela off of him, and she hit the ground holding the handle of the knife. The blade poked out of Brads shoulder.He grinned through gritted teeth as we took aim at her, but he wasn’t watching me.

I was on my feet again and I grabbed his arm, forcing it upwards. He fired off a stray bullet, but it went harmlessly into the ceiling.
Brad may have had a gun, but I was bigger than him. Angela recovered and went with the age old trick of going straight for the groin. I went for the stomach. Brads grip on his gun loosened. I watched as Angela tried to rip it from his hand. But Brad saw that coming. With a jerk of his arm, he sent the gun flying across the factory floor. I didn’t see where it landed. His elbow caught me in the face, and I barely had time to see him drive his fist into Angela’s jaw. He grabbed her by the throat, and got ready to punch again.

I grabbed him from behind and tried to drag him off of her. Brad flailed helplessly, and I almost got him there, before his head slammed into my face. The first time just stunned me. The third time, I had to let go. Brad glared hatefully at us once he was free.

“I shouldn’t be surprised you two are the ones I have to deal with right now. You’ve always been a poison to MY company, Angela. Since I hired you you’ve been trying to cripple MY success!” His eyes shifted to me.

“And you? You’re just dead weight! I am DONE with you people! I am DONE with your disrespect!”
He probably had more to say, but Angela didn’t give him the chance. She’d noticed something that Brad hadn’t.
He was standing right in front of a vat.

As he opened his mouth to speak again, she lunged for him, pushing him back towards it. I caught on quickly and went to help her. Between the two of us, we were able to press him right up against the vat.

Angela and I traded a brief look, before I ducked down, grabbing Brad by the legs. She pushed him by the shoulders. Brad struggled, but he went into that vat of blood and wine. The mixers arm was coming around again. I know Brad saw it in the moment before it struck him over the head. I don’t know if it killed him, but the force of it pulled him into the vat entirely. Given how little of a struggle there was, I’d have guessed it just knocked him unconscious. The arm dragged him around the vat slowly, his head submerged in that disgusting mixture of blood and wine he’d been willing to murder us over.

We didn’t stick around to see if he was ever going to wake up, and as far as I’m concerned, he drowned in that vat.
I wish I'd said 'Cheers'.

The next room was more familiar territory. This was part of what Isaac had shown us, and we sprinted for the door, and through the empty vineyard. It was starting to get dark. Halfway through it, I let myself look back. I could see people coming out of that long barn, and I didn’t wait for them to start running after me.The gazebo was up ahead, along with my car and Brad’s ugly orange coupe. I didn’t waste any time getting inside my car, and as soon as Angela and I had our doors closed, we were speeding off down our driveway, as fast as we could go.

We drove until the next town over, and made it to the police station looking like hell. I’m pretty sure my statement came out as a rambling incoherent mess, but I didn’t care. I told them just about everything… except the part where I murdered Archie and helped drown Brad.

If the Police believed my statement… I never found out. I heard talk of an investigation, but from what I understood, they found nothing. Not even Brad’s ugly orange coupe.

DMT dissolved quickly without him. He and Jake were just considered to have disappeared. Brads so called ‘fans’ barely seemed to notice his absence.Our story never got out.

I still talk with Angela on occasion, but we don’t talk about Niagara. The unspoken agreement is that we did what we had to do, to survive. We both know that, and we don’t need to remember.

I almost wish we could talk about it though… I wish I could talk to her about the nightmares I’ve had of drowning in a vat of freezing cold wine. I wish I could talk to her about the anxiety I have whenever I’m alone. I wish I could tell her that I received a bottle of ice wine from Greystones Winery in the mail the other day.

Because I don’t know who else to tell.

I wish I knew if Isaac is congratulating me on my escape, mocking me for my inability to stop him… or warning me...

I call it Stolen

Lily woke up with a start. She tried to return to sleep, but the blaring of her alarm clock erased any chance of that happening. She picked it up and threw it at the wall. A loud clang resonated throughout the room, waking up Liberty. She was a loyal golden-doodle that had been with her for the past eight years. They had gone through this morning routine hundreds of times. Liberty bounded onto Lily's lap, making her sit up. "You ready for today Libby?" Lily whispered. Liberty barked in response.
The sun shined through the plexiglass windows of their spacious loft. Lily looked at the beauty that was Central Park as she sipped her hot chocolate. She looked at her feet to find Libby chowing down on her breakfast. She looked out into the New York skyline whilst finishing the contents of her mug. Liberty looked out as well.
A ring emitted from Lily's right pocket as she latched Liberty's collar. She didn't need to look at the screen to know who it was. She was expecting this call. "Hey Colin, I'm just taking Libby for her morning walk. I'll be there in an hour," she told him. She didn't wait for his response and hung up instead. Liberty led the way as they walked out of the apartment building and onto the street.
She had just dropped Liberty off at home and was now taking a seat at the round mahogany table of Meeting Room 3. She was browsing the news on her phone when Colin slid a folder across the table. "I'm sorry Lily, the algorithm can do things you can't and does what you can do faster," Colin said. Lily looked up and opened the folder. "An algorithm can't have conversations with clients, I can. An algorithm can't understand social cues, I can. You can hack an algorithm but you can't hack a human for God's sake, Colin!" Lily shouted. Colin stood up and took the folder.
"I'm sorry Lily, this has to happen," Colin replied. Lily sat up, straightened her jacket and walked out of the room.
She knew what was coming. There had been a rumour that the firm had acquired advanced software that could take their jobs. Her only problem was that the firm had fired her first. The email said the algorithm was only being tested for now. If it worked, she would be the first of hundreds of employees to be fired.
She spent the rest of the afternoon at home. She kept telling herself that everything would be okay. That she would find a job and that she would be able to make rent. She was scrolling through various job websites as she fiddled with the ring on her left hand. After hours of searching, she couldn't find a job with a high enough pay. If she took any of these jobs she would have to move out, and she was not doing that. The apartment was her dream. She decided that she had done enough job hunting for a day and poured herself a drink.
She didn't stop. It was 6:00 pm and her 3-litre bottle of scotch was nearly empty. She was thinking, and drinking helped her think. She needed a way out and finding another job was not going to work. She drank and thought. She did this until an idea struck her. An idea that worked in the movies and that could work in real life. An idea that seemed so unrealistic, it seemed possible. No, it would never work. It's 2019 and it would be impossible to get away with it. But they needed it. Ever since Lily's grandma had to go on life support, they lost all of their savings. She couldn't abandon her. It had to be done. She still remembers all those Sunday afternoons going out for ice cream after church. A singular tear dripped down her cheek. It was decided, they needed this. She called someone she knew could help. That person said yes. She hung up and lay down on her couch. She slept with a smile that night.
It was the next morning, and she was already on her laptop doing research. She needed to buy equipment. She needed to disguise them. She only stopped when she felt something on her right foot. She looked down to see Liberty lying down. Lily got up and filled Liberty's bowl with food and water.
She was on the phone when the package arrived. Liberty walked over as Lily flipped open its latches. She held it in her hands and looked down the barrel. She felt every indent and every bump on its metallic shell. She looked at Liberty and looked back at the weapon. She placed it back inside its case and took a seat on the couch. She turned on the T.V as Liberty took a seat beside her. She had all the tools she needed, it was only a matter of when.
It had been a week since they had come up with the plan. All the pieces were in place. All she had to do was step out of the cab she was currently in. Lily paid the driver, opened the door, stepped out of the cab, and waited for Libby to exit. She put on her sunglasses and gripped the leather leash in her right hand. As they crossed the street, she looked up and read the sign. The Bank of New York. She walked through the large glass doors and continued to the middle of the building. There were two elegant spiral staircases in front of her with booths to her left and right. There were only two security guards, one only armed with a baton, the other armed with a small handgun. This was not a problem. She waited a few seconds and soon one of the guards held their microphones close to their mouths. Soon both guards were no longer in the building. She looked over to booth 9 and found a man with his thumbs up. She transferred the leash to her left hand and reached into her pocket with her right. She pulled out her custom-fit 50 calibre Desert Eagle and fired a round into the ceiling.
She let go of Liberty's leash. As soon as that happened, Liberty ran towards the front exit and growled at anyone nearby. Everyone in the room instantly ruled out the front door as an exit. There was nowhere to go. Lily ran to the stairs and stood at the bottom. "Everybody listen up! I'm here for the money and nothing else! Nobody try to be a hero, 'cause nobody in this room can survive a shot to the head," Lily shouted. Liberty barked in response making everyone even more nervous. Lily pointed at two bank tellers and threw garbage bags at them. "Fill those up!" Lily yelled. The two scurried to opposite sides of the room and opened up the registers. They didn't have long. The police were probably on the way; the nearest station was 7 kilometres away. They had 3 minutes, and even that was pushing it. The tellers were fast, and soon Lily had the equivalent of a 420k in 4 trash bags. She whistled and Liberty ran over to her. Lily picked up her leash and they ran. Lily pushed open the fire exit and ran towards a dark blue Honda Civic. She pulled the door open and Liberty bounded inside. She sat in the driver's seat and was about to step on it when suddenly, the passenger door opened.
"About to leave without me, were you?" He said as he sat down. He was wearing a red shirt with khaki pants and a shiny plastic name tag that read 'Marcus'. He was a genius. He stole one of the guard's extra walkies and told them there was an emergency in another building. He told Lily when the traffic was worst in this area so that they could slow down the police.
He was also Lily's fiance.
She smiled and stepped on the gas.
It was 5:00 am the next day and the Civic was stopped at a Seven-Eleven just off Highway 81. Marcus was inside picking up some food as Lily stuck the gas pump into the dark blue Civic. She looked up and made sure no one was around or acting suspicious. Unsurprisingly, she saw nothing in the dark and deserted Seven-Eleven and shed off her worries convincing herself they had escaped.
It was nearly midnight when they arrived at Fallsview Casino. The valet parked their car and the duo proceeded to walk under the glass structure that arced over the entrance. Marcus held the door open as Lily walked through. They had gone through the painful process of creating a new bank account complete with a chequing account, a savings account, and debit and credit cards. The bank staff had been a bit suspicious but a thousand dollars had solved that problem. With their newfound wealth, they decided to spend a little to make a little. They had set aside a couple thousand dollars to have fun with the next day. But first, they needed rest. They had just committed a bank robbery and they needed sleep, desperately. Marcus checked them in and they brought their bags to the room. They set them down on the carpeted floor and collapsed onto the bed.
Lily woke up at around 6:00 pm to find a note on the bed. Marcus was out buying them some new clothes. He had left a ham sandwich and a salad on the bedside table for her. She sat up and Liberty bounded onto her lap. Lily ruffled her fur and Liberty lay down beside her. Lily grabbed the salad and turned on the T.V. It was set to a local news channel broadcasting a pie-eating competition. She watched until she finished her salad and put on a change of clothes. She walked through the halls with the sandwich in her hands. Waiting. Contemplating. Thinking. Waiting for the police to show up and rip everything she had worked for from her hands. Contemplating her choices leading up to this point. Thinking about what would happen if they got caught. She took a bite of the sandwich and looked out the window, seemingly looking for an answer to her questions. Looking for a way out of her thousand-piece-puzzle of a situation. Nobody understood. Nobody felt what she felt. She felt a tap on her shoulder as she thought all this. She turned around to see Marcus with Liberty at his feet. Nobody understood. Except for him. They walked back to the room, put away the clothes, and walked to the Casino floor.
Marcus played a few slot machines and made a couple of hundred dollars. Lily played blackjack and made a few hundred there. They were heading out for a few drinks when someone caught Lily's eye. He walked with arrogance, somehow enunciating every step he took. He wore clothes that suggested he was living an elegant lifestyle. Lily was not the only person to notice. People looked up from their games when they heard the jingle that resounded from his chain as he walked by. He took a seat at an empty poker table and reached into his pocket. Lily had already pushed her way to the table when he pulled out a metal sphere with a swiveling eye. He took it out and marvelled at it. He set it down and cleared his throat. "What I have here is a state of the art robot. However, this robot does not do what normal robots do. You know what it does?" He didn't even wait for a response and instead continued. "It plays poker!" He yelled. It was at that point that the casino security had reached the table. The stranger looked back and flashed his driver's license. That was all it took for the guards to back off. "I challenge anyone in this room to play against this robot!" he announced. He looked around to find the answer gith in front of him. Lily took a seat and rolled up her sleeves.
"Let's play."
They started slow, each only betting a couple of hundred dollars. Lily won a hand, and the robot won a hand. They traded until Lily had had enough. She lost her job to a robot. A robot had made her rob a bank. A robot was the last thing she wanted to beat her. She needed to end it. She needed to end it now. She threw her debit card onto the table. "You mind me betting a little extra?" she said. He looked into her eyes and saw the blaze behind them. He saw it and smiled. "Sure, but you're about to lose a lot of money." He snarked. The dealer handed out the cards. Lily had the eight and king of hearts. The dealer put down the flop. A seven of hearts, eight of clubs, and 3 of spades were the cards. He put down the turn and an eight of spades showed itself. "Let's skip the theatrics mister dealer, put down the last card already!" The stranger yelled. The dealer hurriedly set down the last card. An eight of diamonds. Lily showed her cards. She had a four of a kind, plus a king. That was the third-best hand she could have gotten. The stranger showed his hand. He had a four of a kind, plus an ace. He laughed and swiped the cards. Lily wrote down the P.I.N and ran away.
She ran to their room and fell face-first onto the bed. Liberty barked as she sat down at the side of the bed. Marcus entered the room with a box of tissues. She cried for a while. She cried until Marcus gave her a drink. He handed her a scotch on the rocks. She was thinking, and drinking helped her think. She thought until an idea struck her. An idea so unrealistic, it just might work. An idea that never happened, not even in the movies. She told her fiance. He said yes. They left the hotel to gather supplies. Liberty barked as she walked alongside them.
It was the next morning, and they were at the Hotel Fairmont in Toronto. Lily took a bite of her bagel as she continued counting the cash. They had split up the money into 4 bags. Marcus counted two, and Lily counted the other two. They were too busy counting to notice Liberty step on the T.V remote. It turned on and was set to a news channel. The channel cut to a shot of a building reduced to rubble. Firefighters had put on the blaze, but the whole building had collapsed. The view changed to include a sign on the ground. It read 'Hotel and Casino'. The view changed again to show the Niagara Falls behind the rubble. The view changed once more to include another sign.
This one read 'Fallsview'.

I don't know how to approach this strategically

[PI] Snake Eyes - Superstition - 3152 Words

Working at a casino was not exactly #lifegoals.
But it was better, I reflected, as I glanced down at my scratchy pink poodle skirt and ankle-grinding roller skates, than being a waitress at a Fifties theme restaurant.
Anything is better than working at a theme restaurant. Believe me. If you hear ‘Fifties restaurant’ and start dreaming of Uma Thurman and John Travolta dancing with wild abandon, stop it. Tarantino lied to you. It’s just screaming children and drunk tourists, all the way down.
Which was why, when my Friday morning shift in that hell finally ended, I shrugged back into street clothes and left for my interview at the Grand Imperial Casino with a spring in my step and a smile on my face. I’d hoped that by my twenty-fourth year of life, I’d be interviewing for something a bit more ambitious than blackjack dealer at the newest addition to the Las Vegas strip, but at this point I’d take what I got.
The bus ride downtown was boring, so I’ll break here to introduce myself: my name is Mika. Well, technically, my name is Miguelita Hortensia Maria Francisca de Toledo Rosario Vasquez. But that’s too long even by Mexican standards, so go ahead and call me Mika Rosario, because that’s going to save us both a bunch of time.
Yeah, you think YOU hate going to the DMV.
Anyway, today was going to be my day. I’d traded shifts with one of the other girls who owed me a favor and put up with the desperately sad crowd that wanted to eat breakfast surrounded by bored actors dressed up like extras from Grease, because this afternoon was important. This afternoon was my ticket out of the world of waitressing, even if that ticket only took me a few blocks down the road. No more poodle skirts, no more roller skates, no more children competing to see who can snort a milkshake through their nose, no more teenage boys leering at my cleavage until their eyes fell out.
I mean, I was applying to work at a casino, so I was pretty much just trading those teenage stares in for a whole new set, courtesy of a horde of middle-aged middle-managers in from the Midwest for a convention on midsize sedans, but at least it was a change. My boobs were looking forward to the variety.
So, there I was, sitting in a massive ballroom at the Grand Imperial with about four hundred other people, waiting for my name to be called. It was a nice ballroom, if nothing else, with real white linens on the tables and carpet that didn’t look like they stole the design from a Dixie cup in 1997. It ought to be nice, though, since the newspapers claimed that this place had cost over a billion dollars just to build, never mind the cost of buying out land on the Strip.
All the more reason to get my foot in the door here. If this Robbie Mo guy that came in from Macau to set up the Grand Imperial had that kind of money to throw around, then there had to be a way for me to work my way up through the ranks to where I’d get some real cash.
And no more roller skates.
“Me-gall-nita… Rose-mario?”
The call came at last and I sprang up, smiling as broadly as I knew how and ignoring the way the guy with the list butchered my name. They could call me Mud, for all I cared, so long as they got me away from Big Donny’s Roller-Diner.
The first few rounds of the mass interview were easy, to be honest. Out of all those hundreds of people massed in the ballroom, the Grand Imperial people eliminated three hundred with a simple test as to whether or not they even knew how to play blackjack, let alone deal professionally. Most of them, apparently, couldn’t even count to twenty-one.
I breezed through that round, and the two that came after it. I’d been slinging blackjack since I was eight, when my dad first set me down and made me help him practice counting cards. Carlos Rosario was a ‘professional’ gambler. Professional, in the sense that it was the only plan he ever had to make money and support his family, and ‘professional’ in the sense that he lost more than anybody I’ve ever seen, no matter how he tried to cheat.
Anyway, dealing was easy. I threw in a few flippy bits, flicking aces from one knuckle to the other before returning them to the shuffle, and dancing the spread back and forth before snapping cards out to my nonexistent players. It was simple stuff that any idiot could learn on YouTube, but the interviewers ate it up, whispering to each other like sixth-grade girls.
It was round four when everything got weird.
My first clue that I’d merged onto the highway to the crazy zone was when a man in a black suit asked me to follow him. He was tall and blond, super hot in a ‘my sense of humor was surgically replaced with a third fist’ kind of way, and he escorted me into an elevator made of mirrors without ever saying more than three words at a time. All the previous rounds of the interview had been held in partitioned temporary rooms on one side of that huge ballroom, but apparently those of us who made it to the final round got to see a nicer bit of the Grand Imperial.
That was what I thought on the elevator ride, anyway. I had no idea exactly how nice the bit I’d be seeing was until I stepped off on the 50th floor and felt my jaw drop so far that it should’ve hit the floor.
Gold. Enough gold to make the Pope blush, enough gold to buy out the king of Spain, enough gold to...I don’t even know. There was nothing I could think of buying, nothing that I could even IMAGINE, that required that much money.
It was a lot of freaking gold.
Hot Security Guy frog-marched me through Versailles 2.0 like we were walking down a blank concrete hallway instead of something out of Liberace’s nightmares, before plopping me down opposite the final interviewer.
He was Asian, probably Chinese or Japanese extraction, middle-aged and friendly-looking, like his face naturally wanted to smile. Bit of gray at his temples, bit of extra padding at the belly, but it all seemed to suit him, like he’d been destined to be that way since he was born. Somebody’s kindly grandpa, except he wasn’t old enough yet.
He didn’t say much as I ran through my dealing routine, which didn’t exactly make me happy. A bead of sweat ran down the back of my neck the moment I picked up the deck set on the desk between us, a bead that turned into a river, that turned into Niagara Falls by the time I was done. I pulled out a few extra tricks at the end, flashy little flips that I wouldn’t usually dare try with anybody watching, even palmed a joker into the deck and spun it out face-up, but it was like trying to get blood from a stone. Friendly Grandpa’s smile never so much as twitched, for good or bad.
Finally, I couldn’t take it.
“Look, that’s what I’ve got,” I vented, cascading the deck back together and slapping it down on the desk. “If you’re looking for more...frankly, I don’t know who the hell you’re looking for. Four rounds of interviews, for a job dealing blackjack? That’s just stupid.”
Uh oh.
There it went, then. My chance to bust out of the land of pink poodle skirts and greaser jackets. Great job, Mika; all you had to do was keep your mouth shut and flip the cards, but you had to let your temper get the best of you.
Then the interviewer finally spoke.
“Do you know who I am, Miss Rosario?”
I gulped.
“My new boss?” I suggested lamely, mustering up my best plucky smile.
“My name is Mo Ka-Fai,” he informed me, as I felt my blood turn to ice. “Most people around here call me Robbie.”
Robbie...Mo...
Robbie Mo.
ROBBIE FREAKING MO.
AKA the guy who owned the casino I was sitting in, plus half of the Mirage and who knew how many more in Macau. The news hadn’t stopped talking about how stupid rich he was since they first broke ground on the Grand Imperial.
“Oh,” I squeaked. So I hadn’t just mouthed off at my interviewer and tanked my chances of getting the dealer job, I’d insulted a man who could literally blackball me from the entire city of Las Vegas if he felt like it.
That was bad.
“Sorry.”
“I didn’t tell you that to spook you, Miss Rosario,” Mo announced, a sentiment that did nothing to unfreeze my spine or untwist my stomach. “That wasn’t the point. The point was to let you know that you are dealing with the person who makes decisions. A serious person. Somebody who is not in the business of making jokes or playing pranks. Is that clear to you?”
I nodded like a bobblehead doll. He wasn’t telling me to leave, at least. That had to mean I was still in the running for the job...right?
“Good,” he continued. “Jason, bring in the kittens.”
He gestured over my shoulder towards Hot Security Guy, as I felt my brow knit in confusion. Had he just said...kittens?
What?
Lo and behold, the kittens were...actual cats. HSG disappeared behind a side door, only to reappear a moment later with a cardboard box full of mewing little fluffballs in at least a dozen colors, two or three tiny heads peeking above the lip to see what was happening. The box was deposited at my feet, whereupon two dozen curious eyes blinked up at me.
“Um,” I managed, my eyebrows raised so far I felt like they were going to get lost in my hair. “What?”
“Close your eyes and pick a kitten, please,” Mo requested.
I just stared at him.
“I am aware that it sounds absurd, Miss Rosario. But this will all make sense in a moment, if things are as I suspect.”
I stared at him for another long moment, then shrugged. I liked cats just fine, and he still seemed to be considering me for the job, so...why not?
Eyes closed tight, I leaned down and worked my hands into the pile of kittens. A few nips and playful scratches later, I managed to snag one of the fluffy little things and lift it up away from its siblings.
I opened my eyes to see a pure black fuzzball sitting in my palms, staring at me with eyes as gold as the extravagant walls. He blinked a few times, looking around to see where the rest of his family had gone, then curled up with his tail over his eyes.
Mo breathed in sharply, and whispered something in a language I didn’t know, eyes widening.
“Black,” murmured Hot Security Guy. “It’s black.”
“Yeah, I guess so,” I replied, exploring new depths of confusion. “Here, you want to hold him?”
HSG backed away like I’d offered to shoot him in the kneecap.
“N-no!” he yelped, then cleared his throat. “I mean, no thank you, Miss Rosario. Please continue the interview.”
“The straws,” hissed Mo, as I turned back to him. “Bring the straws!”
Jumping like he was scalded, HSG disappeared back into the side room and came back with a large, blue porcelain vase bristling with...were those drinking straws?
They were. Long red plastic straws, like the ones that you got at the movie theater Slushee machine, with a little spoon on the end so you could scoop up the ice bits. There were tons of them packed into the vase, so tight they barely even rustled as Hot Security Guy placed it next to the kittens.
“There are one thousand straws in that vase,” Mo told me, as if that weren’t an utterly bizarre thing to say. “Each one has a number printed on the end, one to one thousand. Do you understand?”
I nodded again, scratching the black kitten’s head absently. I was this far into what was comfortably the strangest job interview of my entire life, no point arguing over a vase full of straws.
“Good. Choose one, and read me the number, please.”
Dutifully, I shifted my new fuzzy friend into my left hand while I reached down with my right and wormed a nail into the forest of straws. It had to be some kind of eccentric rich guy thing, testing people with kittens and straws before he hired them, I decided.
“Thirteen,” I recited, reading off the tiny black number punched into the end of my straw.
Hot Security Guy literally backpedalled away from me, while Mo looked like he’d seen a ghost.
“Thirteen?” he breathed. “Are you certain? Out of one thousand straws, you picked thirteen?”
“Yep,” I confirmed, laying the straw on the table for him. “One-three. That makes thirteen to me.”
The kitten in my hand started to stretch and mew, pawing for the top of the desk and obviously yearning to explore. I lifted him up and let him clamber out of my palm, since Mo seemed more interested in staring at the little number on the straw than actually interviewing me.
The one percent is freaking weird.
“Right, Miss Rosario,” Mo finally breathed, shaking himself away from inspecting the straw and seeming to collect himself. “Right. Yes. Thank you for bearing with us. I have one more test for you.”
This time, instead of sending Hot Security Guy to fetch, he reached into the drawer of his desk and produced an finely carved set of ivory dice in a plush black velvet box.
“Roll them, please.”
I didn’t move.
“I’d rather not,” I hedged. “I deal cards. I don’t gamble.”
That was my rule. Ever since I was eleven, ever since I’d watched my father walk out of the house with all the money we’d saved for my mom’s chemo and come back with empty hands, that had been the rule.
I don’t gamble. Ever.
“I am not asking you to gamble, Miss Rosario,” Mo countered. “There is no money on the table. Just the dice. Roll them, please.”
My jaw locked up and my fingernails bit into my palm, but I forced myself to reach for the dice. There was no way I was going to avoid ever touching a set, if I intended to work in a casino. And Mo was technically right; I wasn’t betting on anything and there was no money at stake, so it wouldn’t be gambling.
Just a roll of the dice.
Breath caught in my throat, I picked up the dice, shook them once, and then dropped them like a poisonous snake.
A brief clatter, and then they came to rest, one pip glinting from each face.
One and one.
Snake eyes.
“Two,” breathed HSG. “She rolled a two. She actually rolled a-!”
“Quiet, Jason,” Mo snapped. “Again, if you please, Miss Rosario.”
He collected the dice and passed them back across the desk to me. The corner of my lip twisted in distaste, but I nevertheless accepted them, shook, and cast.
Two pips stared back at me. Snake eyes, just like before.
“Again.”
Take, shake, roll.
Two pips. Snake eyes.
“Okay, what the hell is going on?” I demanded. “First you make me go bobbing for kittens and pick out a Slushee straw, and now you’re making me roll a loaded pair of dice? Does this have anything to do with me dealing blackjack?”
“The dice are not loaded,” Mo stated, grandfatherly smile all but gone, now. “Inspect them yourself. And then roll, again.”
I retrieved the dice and rolled them through my fingers, weighing them against each other, and then froze. An electric tingle ran up my spine and down to my fingers, as I realized that Mo was on the level. I knew what trick dice felt like in my hand; my dad had made me test out the sets he carved in our garage.
These were legit.
Which meant…
I rolled the dice, flinging them hard against the table. One spun like a top, fluttering about before finally tipping over with one pip to the sky. The other skated across the desk, nearly colliding with the adventuring kitten, and flew off onto the floor.
Where it landed with one pip showing.
Snake eyes.
“Again.”
Beginning to feel extremely freaked out, I did as Mo asked, taking a new pair of dice from him and casting them across the desk.
Two pips. Snake eyes.
“Again.”
My hand shook all on its own this time, barely steady enough to hold both dice together. They toppled away from me, less a cast, and more a drop.
It didn’t matter. Twp pips glinted in the light, reflecting the golden ornamentation.
Snake eyes.
“Again.”
Again, and again, and again. Over and over, Mo made me roll the dice, and every time the result was the same: two pips. Twenty times in a row, I rolled snake eyes.
Which was, mathematically speaking, almost impossible.
“What the hell is going on?” I asked again, but this time I really, truly meant it. My voice was barely a squeak, choked by an iron bar lodged in my throat. “What does this mean?”
“It means, Miss Rosario, that you are the unluckiest person alive.”
I blinked. Even in the grip of an utter and complete confusion, I had enough of my mother’s pride left in me to be insulted.
“Excuse me?”
“Oh, I mean that very literally,” Mo said, standing up from his desk and sharply correcting his suit jacket. “You, Miguelita Hortensia Maria Francisca de Toledo Rosario Vasquez, are the most unlucky human being on the planet. And that makes you extremely dangerous.”
“Dangerous?” I spluttered. “What do you mean, dangerous? How am I-?”
“We do not have time for me to answer that question,” Mo interrupted, gesturing for her to stand. “Suffice it to say that there are those of us who play probability and odds like a musician plays his instrument. And we’ve been looking for you, Miss Rosario. Looking for you for quite some time.”
I opened my mouth to demand more than that, or maybe to just sputter in wild confusion, but Mo steamrolled over me.
“Jason, call ahead to the helipad and tell them to spin up the chopper,” he ordered tersely, glancing to Hot Security Guy. “I want to be wheels up in fifteen minutes. We need to go, now.”
“Go?!” I snapped, finally untangling my tongue. “Go where?”
“To meet with Lady Luck.”

Heading to the Niagara Falls area for Spring Break and have some questions. Thanks!

Me, the StraightUpG, and his Monet.

Hello, my lovelies! I told you I’d be back, and here I am.
This story isn’t nearly as epic as the Ratchet situation was, but it marked the beginning of a pattern wherein I’ve started losing my guy friends, one by one, when they start dating someone. Evidently because I’m single and don’t have a penis, I’m a threat. Not much dialogue in this one, mostly because when these people talk I hear the “whomp whomp whomp” sound of an adult in the Peanuts cartoons.
Cast of Characters
Me: 23 years old, female, and awesome.
Trinidad: My best friend and main bitch. Also 23. The most awesome person I have ever known in my life. Been friends for about 8 years now.
EasyD: Male, 25, Trinidad's boyfriend of 4 months. Most awesome guy ever. 10/10, would hang out with him again, and again and again.
Stoner: Male, 22, one of my best friends for 5 years. Does nothing with his life but sell pot. Cornerstone of our little group. Dated Trinidad for years, but now they're just friends.
StraightUpG: Male, 22, been friends with us for 4 years; was Turtle’s best friend for a while. Thinks he's a gangster. Main dealer's BFF. Historically has never dated a girl to our knowledge, though certainly not because he can't. Enjoys the chase. Never thought he'd settle down.
Monet: Female, 22 (I think), so named because, as Clueless explains, "From far away, it's OK, but up close, it's a big old mess." This analogy works both physically and mentally. Jealous hag, master of manipulation and functional alcoholic. Dated EasyD when he was first seeing Trinidad casually, and he ended it to be exclusive with Trinidad.
My group of friends is extremely close for being in our 20s as you may have noticed from my previous stories, and I know that's strange. The only explanation I can come up with is that when someone has seen you at your worst, at your best, and still loves you exactly the way you are, you want to keep a hold on those people. Those are the friendships from where godparents and wedding parties spring. Inevitably as most high school friendships evolve, there is some friendcest that no one takes seriously later in life. Everyone has stayed friends after, and new SOs don't care unless there was a serious relationship. In those instances reasonable boundaries are placed, everyone is trusted, everyone is happy.
Until this spring, that is.
The trouble began when Trinidad started dating EasyD in January. EasyD has a car, which neither Trinidad or I had at the time. He is very sweet about driving us if we need to go places on the weekends, and we always reciprocate by filling the gas tank. Everyone was happy, except Monet.
EasyD had been seeing Monet before he broke it off and decided to date Trinidad exclusively. Monet did not like this, as EasyD conveniently drove her ass everywhere so she didn't have to (god forbid!) board a bus. Because he's a nice guy, EasyD remained friends with her and they hung out every now and then. Trinidad was fine with this. What Trinidad was not fond of is Monet calling EasyD when they're on a date and badgering him to come pick her up so they can go drink at a bar. The two of them would be out eating dinner, and the phone calls would start. When he didn’t answer, she’d just continue calling until he did. For example:

Monet: Hi EasyD, what are you doing?
EasyD: I didn’t answer because we’re out for dinner. I need to call you back later.
Monet: Teehee, it’ll only take a second! What are you guys doing later? Do you want to go to Corral (a country bar in the next town over)? Some of my friends are going there tonight.
EasyD: Well maybe. We can meet you there.
Monet: Wait, you won’t pick me up?
EasyD: Well we’re already in that area, it would take half an hour to come back and get you.
Monet: (sounding as dejected as she can muster) Oh…. Well then I guess we’ll have out another time because I don’t have a ride…

This usually got her what she wanted. She never pitched for gas once.
On the occasions when EasyD and Trinidad relented and picked her up to hang out, Monet complained incessantly if she didn't get the front seat. Every time. I heard that and raised an eyebrow, but I couldn't judge, as I had not met her yet. Besides, she couldn't be expected to know that there's a shotgun hierarchy (SO, then best friend, then down it goes); her friends probably don't have a system like we do. She may just have car sickness. It's passable. Even never giving gas money isn't necessarily a problem if EasyD doesn't mind.
Right now we must veer into late February, when Trinidad, EasyD and StraightUpG were at my house drinking one cold Saturday night. For backstory, I have always kind of had a thing for StraightUpG. There were never any serious feelings and I would never date him in a million years, but I always sort of wanted to hook up with him at least once. Throughout our friendship I had dated both Turtle and JerBear, both of whom he was friends with. Eventually we became such good friends that I determined a hookup would be detrimental to our relationship, and discarded the thought. Except on this night, the night of pounding rum and tequila in rapid succession. We drank so fast that in the span of an hour, StraightUpG and I had deposited 10 shots each. I hadn't gotten this drunk since my 20th birthday, and it was glorious. Eventually, StraightUpG got closer to me. Sure enough, he moved in for a kiss and we made out for a few minutes. Trinidad looked like Christmas and her birthday came all at once; she often brought this situation up jokingly, and she was wishing she had popcorn to watch the spectacle. EasyD was talking to my roommates, oblivious as usual. After a few minutes I went down to my bedroom to use the bathroom. When I came out, StraightUpG was standing outside the door. We make out some more, and I'm thinking it's going to go pretty far as Trinidad bursts in to continue watching this train wreck. I told her to leave, and when she finally did I felt nauseous. So does StraightUpG. Both our stomachs rebel the liquor, and when we were finished we both passed out. We woke up in the morning and said little about it. I wrote off the thought of a hookup ever happening, because StraightUpG is a TERRIBLE kisser. Life went on.
A couple weeks after, there was a party at Trinidad's house. Along with StraightUpG and most of our friends, Monet arrived with some poor sap she had found to drive her there. She didn't seem like someone I would be friends with, but she was nice enough that night. We all got drunk and StraightUpG took an interest in Monet, who ignored her friend to hook up with StraightUpG. We are all amused and laugh it up the next morning. We had never seen him close a deal around us before. "What a player", we all agreed.
A few days later, Trinidad/EasyD/StraightUpG/Monet call me drunk from Niagara Falls, where they had decided on a whim to drive and go to the casino. EasyD paid for gas and hotel, as the rest were broke. They all won good money there. Trinidad quickly gives EasyD her share. StraightUpG and Monet ignored this gesture and spent some of their money. EasyD eventually got pissed and asked them to pitch towards the gas and hotel. They sighed dramatically and made a big deal about giving him $20. Wow, 20 whole dollars out of the $500 they won. Such a sacrifice. I heard this and got a bit indignant; StraightUpG had never been like that before, and Monet was using my friends shamelessly when she was barely acquaintances with them. This bugged me, but it wasn't my concern. However, I didn't really like her after this, and I made that clear to Trinidad. She agreed, but Monet was EasyD's friend, so neither of us said anything.
In early April, after StraightUpG and Monet started dating and become facebook official (to our shock and utter amusement), I began having a car on the weekends. My first order of business on Saturday was picking up Trinidad, who informed me that she had been roped into hanging out with Monet. EasyD was working, so we had to go pick her up if I was okay with it. I inwardly groaned, but it's for my best friend and I could deal with Monet for a few hours. Presumably because she had only met me once and I'm clearly not a pushover, Monet did not make a big deal about me making her sit in the back. Eventually, we got a hold of StraightUpG and picked him up. We had a nice day and ended up going to our usual pub for dinner, and everyone was dropped off without incident. Trinidad and I retired to my house, had a few drinks, and went to sleep. Early (for a weekend) the next morning, Trinidad got a BBM message.

Monet: "I need you to tell me the truth; has there ever been anything between BitchMagnets and StraightUpG? I noticed some chemistry yesterday."

I burst out laughing. Eventually I composed myself and called Monet myself. I explained the incident to her in full, and assured her that StraightUpG was not my type and I'm not his. We were just walking bottles of liquor that night, and we were just friends. She seemed happy with the answer. All was well.
For the next 3 weeks I didn't see Monet, and I only saw StraightUpG at Stoner's house once or twice. Trinidad and EasyD saw them much more often, and they did couple things like bowling on Thursday nights. Evidently the unholy couple became unbearable with their sweet talk and PDA to the point where the others, still in their honeymoon phase, started avoiding them besides bowling. During this timeframe StraightUpG announced plans to buy Monet a chain that matched his, which apparently in Gangster Land is the first step down the aisle. One day Trinidad told me Monet texted her saying that a previous FWB wanted to come over and she was debating letting him. This FWB only hung out with her for sex and Monet knew it. Trinidad told her she had a boyfriend and what the obvious answer was. After 20 minutes of arguing back and forth, Monet concurred and did not allow him to come over. I thought waffling about it at all was disrespectful to a guy who really, really liked her, and informed StraightUpG about that fiasco. Now I know that I should have stayed out of it, but I feel the need to point out that if I had different parts, he would have thanked me for saying that. He kind of brushed it off, but began calling Trinidad regularly to talk about his feelings.
Two weeks later he had Trinidad tell me to stay out of his business. Trinidad was also informed that he thought I was jealous of Monet and that I had a crush on him. I quickly texted him and explained myself, and told him that I don't like her for other reasons, not because of him. I also told him I didn't know where he got the feelings from, but they were non-existent. I apologized for getting "in his business", though I don't think I was. I was just concerned. This guy hadn't had a relationship in years; I didn't want his first foray into a girlfriend to fuck him up and cause him to retreat for years. We decided on a truce for the time being.
Soon after this fight I felt bad for making him feel like I was against his relationship, and decided to make amends. Monet was in Mexico for a week and they were talking over FaceTime 5 times a day. That Friday I went to Stoner's house, and when I saw StraightUpG was there, I rolled a peace offering joint for us to share. He ended up on FaceTime while I was there, but Monet knew I was there and all was good.
On Saturday I went back to Stoner's house with Trinidad, and StraightUpG was there. FaceTime again, whatever. The three of us decided to meet EasyD for dinner at Denny's. StraightUpG asked if I could pay half his bill, because otherwise he couldn't afford to go. I agreed; I had just gotten my tax refund, it was like $10, and I wanted to further mend the gap our fight had caused. Besides, he regularly did that kind of stuff for me anyway when he had money and I was broke.
At dinner, FaceTime. Again, Monet knew I was present. As we're eating, StraightUpG disappeared for 20 minutes. Eventually we were done and wanted the bill, so I went outside and told him to hurry up. As we waited for his return, we decided that I would drive StraightUpG home if he didn't want to stay out, EasyD would drive to my house and wait for me, and he would be DD when we went to the bar.
StraightUpG didn't want to come, and the 10 minute car ride was silent as I drop him off. Whatever, music was fine. I dropped off the car and went to the pub. When I got there, I checked my phone and saw a long text from StraightUpG. In laymen's terms, he said he can't hang out with me without Monet being present anymore no matter how many people there are; it's out of respect for her because stuff happened (once in 4 years, really?), and it's totally his decision- massive lie. In reality, she's uneasy about me being around him and had just reamed him out for being out with me without proper supervision. I was forced to face an uneasy truth; StraightUpG was now in a choke collar, and as I certainly didn't want to hang out with Monet anymore after that, I had just lost a 4 year friendship. Tears and shots of whisky ensued, after I responded that I wasn't going to avoid my friends just because she had a problem with me; if I showed up somewhere and he was there, he would be the one leaving. He agreed. I got drunk and apparently cried myself to sleep, but I don't remember that- too drunk. It really hurt my feelings that he thought our friendship was so easy to cut off, without a second thought, and that he decided to text me rather than say it to my face. Also, that he had pulled this shit after I had already paid for half his food. What an asshole.
On that Sunday morning, I went to Stoner's again with Trinidad. StraightUpG called Trinidad while we were there. When he realized where we are, he got upset. "Of course she's staking out my spot so I can't go there, what a bitch." Never mind that I've been friends with Stoner and thus going to his house longer than he has, but I digress. Anyway, Trinidad exploded and screamed at him for being an asshole, and told him she and EasyD won't hang out with him and Monet anymore because they're being so unreasonable. She reminds him he's excluding himself from practically everything we do now, and that she would be speaking with Monet. She hangs up. I feel vindicated, she says she'd choose me over anyone else, any day. I love her. I changed my number and cut ties with StraightUpG, and I hear that every day this week he has been with Monet getting drunk, which is apparently the only thing she wants to do. He called Trinidad a few days later 5 million times asking if all four of them were going bowling. Trinidad said "No, I don't know how much more clear I can get. We don't want to hang out with you anymore. What you did to BitchMagnets was terrible, and until you drop your bitch we are barely acquaintances."
I invited the two of them to my May 24 party soon after, and they reluctantly allowed Trinidad to pick them up and bring them down. Though I really hated Monet, I wanted so badly to still be friends with StraightUpG. She glared at me anytime I talked to him when they were there, even just to answer a question. They were at my house for 30 minutes before they ate our food, then went inside and immediately got picked up to go to a different party. After that, I washed my hands of them completely. They are still together, and apparently all they do is have sex and drink by themselves, because all their friends are sick of them. Sweet, sweet justice.
Trinidad thinks StraightUpG realized he has feelings for me and can't trust himself around me without Monet. I disagree. If he was lying about the divide being his decision, he's a pussy and a bad friend. If he wasn’t lying, he's heartless and a terrible friend.
Either way, I lost a friend. However, I don’t enjoy spending time with invertebrates, so I guess that’s a win.

Niagara Falls Day Tour From Toronto

My Top Five Sonic Games

I forgot to post this last week, apparently.
~~~
I think everyone has that one game they love, especially in a franchise with such a large fanbase as Sonic. And sometimes it’s hard to see through the rose-tinted glasses (or in this case, blue-tinted glasses) and really analyze a game’s flaws to see what truly worked well and what didn't. I am absolutely in no way an exception when it comes to loving a game so much that it feels like you just stepped into the beginning segment of the Lion King. It is human nature to praise something we adore endlessly, taking no need to the warnings of others to stop. I am not the best with my words when it comes to explaining why I love what I love. All I can do is react to it; all that comes gushing out are various feels, such as a wild mixture of fangirling incoherent squeals and misty eyes that would make the Niagara Falls jealous. My reasons for why a game is in a certain spot may not make any sense to you, so just remember it's not your list, it's mine. Without stalling any longer, let's get right into this list.

Sonic and the Black Knight. This is the only game on this list I actually haven't played; mainly because I have no interest in a Wii. But I find the story absolutely fascinating, considering how much it shows Sonic’s determination even though he sometimes treats battling foes like a game. I understand the complaints about the buggy gameplay but I raise an eyebrow at the complaints that the story isn't good. It has all the aspects of what makes a thrilling adventure; especially the storybook kind. I just cannot fathom what makes the story “bad", not every game can be SA2 material. While I fancy myself a sci-fi lover, I have an appreciation for fantasy, as well; especially when knights are involved. I won’t go too much into it but I adore the Knight’s code and despite what others say about Sonic and chivalry not mixing, I love how well it suits Sonic’s character as a person, as a hero. Sonic may be a cocky pincushion but he's got a heart of gold, and that's what made me tear up in the cutscene before the final boss. The “A knight never flees his foe, right?” line is one of the best lines Sonic has ever uttered. It shows so much growth in his character and it's glorious. While I enjoyed the dynamic between Caliburn and Sonic (especially the knave and oversized letter opener insults), the coolest part about the entire game was Excalibur Sonic; it's my preferred Super form. There are also two of my favorite vocal songs in this game. This game is why I love the title “Knight of the Wind” and why I became interested in the Knight’s code in the first place. This game portrayed Sonic’s character with a balance of cocky, snarky, and humble very well in my opinion and I love it for that. Additionally, I find it curious that this is the only game where Modern Amy is actually tolerable but it's not even really her. I wish they had included Silver in the main story and replaced Shadow with Espio. I just don't understand how they thought Shadow was a good fit for a knight. He's too serious… Anyway, other than the controls that people dislike and the choice of characters to represent Arthurian characters, I have no complaints about this game. Being as I haven't played the game, I can only say so much about it. So that's all I have to say about it.
Sonic Unleashed Among the many things that drew me to this game, the graphics are incredible, the Dark Gaia fight looks intense and intimidating, the story really catches my attention, Chip amazes me with his comedy, character progression, and friendship with Sonic, and, uh… well… the Werehog is honestly the entire reason I bought the game at all ._. AND I LOVE IT! I love going slow for once and kicking can! IT’S SO AWESOME! Don’t get me wrong, I’m in love with the speed in the Day stages but I don’t have the wherewithal to use Sonic’s speed to its full potential. I like to enjoy the scenery now and again - or, you know, stop and just make some noise and break Egghead’s toys. Because you can’t cause the type of damage the Werehog can do if you’re zipping to and fro. Yeah, I know Sonic is all about speed… But even Sonic has to literally stop and smell the roses. I like the Werehog as a concept because it makes Sonic use his own weakness to progress. That and honestly, how isn't being a destructive ball of fur the coolest thing ever? The way Chip drastically changes personality from the beginning of the game to the end is crazy. He becomes less annoying and more useful. The line “Do I need a reason to want to help out a friend?” is heartwarming and it's my favorite moment in the game. I hate that Sonic is so sad when Amy didn't recognize him as the Werehog but I laughed so hard because of how clueless she was. The only thing I didn't understand was why only Tails and Amy were present. Knuckles, being as popular as the other two and one of the oldest characters, could at least have made a brief appearance. It would have been amusing to see him wet his shorts at the sight of the Werehog, or, much like in the comics with Mighty, see them roughhouse. On that note, why didn't Sonic ever lose his temper except for in the Night of the Werehog short and in the comics? It was probably deemed “too dark" for kids, wasn't it? That might be why the music was jazzy and not rock, which would have fit the Werehog more, in my opinion. The music is probably the only thing that truly irritates me about Unleashed. Everyone loves it and I'm just like “Ehhh… It's too weird for me…” The main tune (not Endless Possibilities) is good, though. True to their friendship, Tails’ astute observation on seeing Sonic right away as the Werehog was really cool. I'm surprised I had so much to say on Unleashed as I did; just proves I really like this game.
Sonic Heroes. I'm seeing a little more love for this game and I think that's cool. I’ve played and replayed countless hours into this game, more than another game on this list, and somehow, I still never managed to beat it even though I was so close to doing so. DAMN YOU GIANT GATOR! DAMN YOU EGG EMPEROR! Damn youuuu… I loved how each team had their own gameplay style with their own set of quirks and varying difficulties for the most part. It eats away at my core that Team Rose, the easiest team in the game, isn’t the one that allowed me to beat part of the game. But I digress… The team I played most besides Sonic’s team was Chaotix. Their unique detective gimmick made it fun, one of the reasons I took a liking to them most. Not surprisingly, Heroes introduced me to the three goofballs and without this game, my fondness for Espio never would have happened. Ironically, Team Chaotix was the first team I ever saw when I was introduced to the game back in elementary school. I also love how Heroes touts teamwork, friendship, and self-strength - like, this game not only pumped me up with its amazing electronic instrumentals and a couple of vocal songs, it also taught me to love myself when I felt useless or worthless THROUGH the lyrics. But such topics are for another day. Egg Emperor is by far the most difficult boss I ever witnessed in Sonic (and also had a cool design like Egg Dragoon). I am proud that I made it that far with half of the teams. If there was a couple things I wish the game made changes to, it's the cutscenes and gameplay. As far as the cutscenes go, it's a minor thing but since you have to replay all the levels four times, the least they could have done was not recycle most of the cutscenes, specifically the Team Battles. They should have at least changed perspective depending on which team was being played. The gameplay would have been way more fun if the controls weren't so darn slippery. I don't know how people don't have heart attacks while grinding on rails. Despite what people say about the casino stages in Heroes, I adore them. Yeah, they repetitive or boring, slow, and even annoying, but it beats Spinball, right? There hasn't been other levels like them since (probably for good reason in many people's minds) and I bet it's mechanics have never been seen before (I haven't seen any, at least). The haunted house stages were pretty trippy, kinda creepy, and a little aggravating but a neat concept and probably a favorite during Halloween (second to Pumpkin Hill, of course). I think the beach levels were a great call-back to the beach levels in previous games and I wish they replaced Green Hill. The Metropolis levels were wild and fantastic, the forest levels were a nice call-back to that one level from SA2, and, of course, the Air Fleet levels were all kinds of awesome (and terrifying). Rail Canyon levels can go die, however, I died constantly and they were not fun at all. The thing I found interesting about the level setup is that each zone is divided into three parts, including the boss battles. The Metal Sonic boss battle seems complicated but really challenging. I'm almost really thankful that I can't beat Egg Emperor. I know Heroes doesn't have much of a story but I quite like it. Each Team has their unique set of goals yet they all end up in the same place (seriously though, how were all four Teams in the same levels and boss fights without accidentally bumping into eachother? Someone needs to explain that). This game featured We Can as Team Sonic's theme and it's my absolute favorite song, don't know why anyone would call this amazing tune cheesy. The main theme pumped me up before I even started the game and I love it for that. What I'm Made Of is, by far, the best workout song. If everything I've said wasn't proof I've played the hell out of Heroes, I dunno what else is lol.
Sonic Adventure. Big surprise, right? (Heh, get it? Big? I'll let myself out…) I have almost no words to explain how much I love this game, even in all it’s flaws. This game was the first game I ever so it’s a pretty damn big deal to me. That said, I do have more memories tied with this than my number 1 game, funnily enough, but, as you’ll see later on, even nostalgia isn't strong enough to make this remembered classic title my top pick. Of course, it's pretty darn close to being there, at one point it was my number 1 but my feelings for it have evolved. Being that it was the first game I ever played, it now blows my mind that this game is the only game I know of to kick off with a boss. I haven’t seen another game that starts off like that. It sets the mood - you have to be on your toes in Sonic’s story. Even if there are other games like this out there, nothing was impactful as Chaos for me. He holds a special place in my heart for a reason - he is named aptly and represents the forces of nature perfectly (I really wish they showed off all his forms instead of making us wonder about two of them). I adore how mysterious the game is when you first play. Like, you are being dragged along with the story trying to piece everything together and wondering what the floating red glowing ball with a disembodied voice is all about. It’s also pretty cool to know that this tutorial guide is subtly a key factor into the game’s plot. Sonic was my favorite of all the characters because, truth be told, I was the biggest Sonic fangirl I knew. I loved playing as Tails but preferred his flight in the SA2 Chao Garden instead of “getting tired”. I always felt the pressure with the races so playing as Tails sometimes scarred younger me. I hated losing to Sonic but his upbeat comments at you were really nice. Knuckles was fun because I actually liked looking for Master Emerald shards (unlike in SA2). I probably enjoy Knuckles the most because I learned to roleplay as Knuckles (by myself, before I knew what that was), I had fun gliding, climbing, and digging (you can thank Gargoyles for this), and it remains as the only story in SA1 I beat. I didn’t really play the other three much as a kid, mainly because I never reached that point. Amy is a little wonky, Big does indeed have frustrating controls if you don't know what you're doing, and Gamma is fun but kinda meh. Out of the three gameplay styles, I definitely prefer Gamma but, unlike most fans, I actually like Big (only reason I liked Team Rose). Running and jumping using Amy’s hammer is oddly satisfying. The Chao Garden is of course fun but that’s not why I played the game; SA2’s Gardens are far superior and doesn't have that pesky risk of harming your Chao when you pick them up. I’m gonna go into a bit of nostalgia here for the remainder of this entry because I just remembered some things. I remember distinctly asking my oblivious mom what the heck to do when I reached the part where you get the light speed shoes, not having a clue how to perform the maneuver, and my mom having no clue either, I eventually progressed and my mom praised me for it. Definitely a good memory. Other memories also include getting stuck on the Egg Carrier level as both Sonic and Tails, getting stuck as Knuckles during his first stupid boss battle with Chaos 4 as well as in Mystic Ruins behind bars and having to call an old friend for help, and being terrified of Zero chasing Amy. I sadly never got to Gamma until later in life when I had the game for the 360 but I do remember watching him being played briefly at my cousins’ house. Even though I’m better at it now, don’t even get me started on how horrified I was at seeing my Chao die alot… cries a little But yeah, I enjoy the game because I actually remember stuff like this on the top of my head. I never actually reached the epic battle between Super and Chaos but I guess that is okay, even if a little sad. The main things I love about this game are how it showed the friendship between Sonic and Tails, how our two-tailed buddy believed in himself, how bittersweet Knuckles’ duty is, how strangely influential Amy is to other people, the determination of Big, how they took a frog and made him vital to the plot, Gamma’s entire existence, and just the legend of Chaos overall. I have to say this for SA1 - if it weren’t for it existing, I wouldn’t love Sonic the way I do now. Or grow to adore Big as much as I do. Or Tails! Funnily enough, I just remembered playing another game on the Dreamcast, Test Drive 6, and making a pick-up truck relatively the same color as Tails, LOL. It was because of SA1 that I even liked the franchise at all.Even though I didn’t beat the game itself, it still taught me alot about positivity, determination, and most importantly, opening my heart (yes, I'm serious). There are a number of other things I love and remember that I couldn’t possibly list here.
Sonic Shuffle. I’m pretty sure you weren’t expecting this game at all to show up (especially being number 1), since either people hate it, don’t remember it or are even aware of its existence. If you know anything about the game, you're likely really curious as to how a party game, of all things, made it to this spot on the list. Honestly, I really love this game and since gameplay isn't a priority to me, it boils down to story, it's morals, characters, and charm. Now, if you hate this game, it's not surprising to me that you took the time to laugh at what you just read. Hear me out, okay? I have fond memories with this game and as much crap as people give nostalgia, I personally believe nostalgia is an important factor. Unless your opinion has truly changed over time, which is fine, why rule it out? You’re getting rid of emotions tied with memories that, whether you like it or not, shaped your gaming experience. No matter how bad a game was. Nostalgia has a way of looking at things that alot of people give something unloved some deserved love. Anyway, I digress but the most important thing is how a game makes you feel. And this game gives me all kinds of feels. The opening is inviting (The overlook of the city looks so pretty, especially since this is the only cell-shaded I've played. The style really suits the game very well) and really captures the coolness of Sonic. That pose he is doing and the fact that he's on the tippy-top of that pole tells me Sonic is about to something very epic - and he does. Just like in both Adventure games, he jumps off the pole, falls, then runs down side of the building. To me, that is the essence of cool. Then he just hops down like gravity isn't even a thing. Tails, Knuckles, and Amy appear out of nowhere but that doesn't matter because they've been called on an adventure of a lifetime! Into a different dimension, no less! One of my favorite things is when Sonic whistles at Lumina x’D It's so random and Amy doesn't even react! I know he’s a ladies man in other media but this seems to prove it! The atmospheres feel new and fresh. Emerald Coast is a much prettier version of the SA1 level and it's where I realized I much prefer the Beach levels than Green Hill. Sadly I haven't played the other zones because this game is notoriously difficult, thanks to the AI cheating (I just thought I sucked. No joke, however, Shuffle is the Dark Souls of Sonic). Fourth Dimension Space blows my mind though. It looks to be extremely disorienting but gorgeous. I wish the Temple of Light, the only real consistent location, was in a higher resolution because I bet it would be really shiny and stuff; especially if all the cutscenes had been in the style that the very last cutscene was in. Speaking of which, it irks me that besides the intro, this last cutscene is the only time you see breathtaking graphics. The soundtrack is eclectic and unusual, which fits with the rest of the game’s uniqueness. It's a mix urban, DnB, funk, techno, jazz, and experimental freestyle DJ work (quoting someone who is observant here). Basically, when you put it on, expect a sort of musical noise. You probably won't hear another OST like Shuffle’s EVER. Along with the AI, there is a card system that goes from 1-6, S, and Eggman. I don't quite know why they kept it down to only 6 but eh, it works. Some people find the mini-games but I find them very fun. If nothing else, they are delightfully wacky. Some of my favorites are Sonic Parasol and Ring Tide, both beach related, they make me smile. Manic Maze might as well be gameception, as players get transported into board game! It's such a hilarious concept! Some other goofy mini-games include Sonicooking, where a solo player controls a frying pan with the other three players in it (basically you can cook them. Yum.), and Sonic DJ where a solo player controls a disc that the other three players stand on (they get stumble when you scratch the disc xD). Sonic Surfing, which is exactly what you'd expect from it's title, is fun just difficult to master. These are the kinds of things that make the game charming to me. There are some mini-events as well but it's been too long since I've played them to remember any of them. Even though a good majority of the in-game dialogue is ripped from SA1, I think its one of it's best features. As in, most lines are amusing. The dialogue for cutscenes are a bit jagged, cryptic, and incomplete. But I still it nonetheless. One of my favorite lines of all time are “WHAT EEEEVIL INVENTION SHOULD I USE THIS TIME?...” Then after the roulette wheel thingy of the Eggman Card has chosen the victim’s fate, “THIS IS WHAT I’LL DO TO YOUUU…” It’s just hilarious.

I think Shuffle is alot darker and applicable in terms of storyline than one might realize but you’d probably have to play the game for yourself with open eyes to see that. This is the only Sonic game to feature the complexity of dreams and the battle of loneliness. The latter is why the supposed villain, Void, is so special to me, as I relate to him on a deep level. He’s sort of like Gaara from Naruto in a way; one desperately wants love, the other desperately wants to be whole and have a reason for living. When Void shouts “Why was I born?!” it honestly hit home with me and made me tear up because I felt unloved and without a purpose for the longest time. His name even fits; his heart is vacant, soundless, an endless chasm, a void. His one desire is to be whole and he felt that his actions of seeking out the Precioustone were the product of fulfilling this need. What he didn't realize is that his dark powers shattered the lifeforce of his world and of everyone's dreams. On that note, the scene where all four characters encourage Lumina with their words are the most powerful words I've ever heard. The same goes for very last lines in the game. You'd think a small project like Shuffle wouldn't have much more lore than that but that's not the case! If you are observant, you will find there are lots of interesting unanswered questions that bring up theories and such. These reasons might seem strange to others who see Shuffle as just another Wild Card in the deck of Sonic games but I see it as a one of a kind gem.

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Room 718 at Fallsview Casino Resort in Niagara Falls Ontario Canada. ... Sheraton Four Points Hotel Room Niagara Falls Ontario Canada - Duration: 5:42. The World Of Mike 3,589 views. Hi Friends,We recently visited the Niagara Falls from US side. Also we covered a few places in Cleveland. Sharing with you all this very awe-inspiring experi... Around 18,000 years ago, the falls didn't exist. They were formed then ice sheet from the North Pole left behind vast areas of landscape, what we know today ... About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features Press Copyright Contact us Creators ... Niagara Falls - Ontario , Canada. Best Things To Do/See When You Visiting Niagara Falls City:Horseshoe Falls 01:00American Falls 05:00Hornblower Niagara ... Niagara Falls are probably the most famous waterfalls in the world. Niagara Falls are actually three waterfalls which sit right on the border between the Uni... Hey everyone welcome back to my channel! In today’s video me and my family headed over to Niagara Falls and I decided to film it for you guys! Hope you enjoy... What is the best hotel in Niagara Falls Ontario Canada ? check the ratings made by travelers themselves. http://www.best-hotel.org/best-hotels-in-niagara-fal... Subscribe For More VIdeos: http://goo.gl/CnuhTj Seneca Casino Hotel, Niagara Falls, NY - this is one of their corner suites (15th floor - halfway up the tower). The long window looks out to Canada and the short window to the Niagara river.